Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think that my exes g'f should not be messaging me to say......

25 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 11/09/2009 11:46

it is not fair to my children to sit in a car for hours as it would probably be a short visit again

she messaged me on fb to say this and that she thought ds1 should go and stay at her house with her and ex and her son...

errrr ex has not seen ds1 for 4 yrs, he knows nothing about him i don't know her.....think you get the picture.

OP posts:
oldraver · 11/09/2009 13:03

Is she saying it isnt fair to HER children ? If so why does she need to be there, surely the visit, especially as there has been no contact for years should be between your ex and DS

Soryy if I got wrong end of stick

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 11/09/2009 13:11

Oldraver yes thats exactly what she is saying!

OP posts:
oldraver · 11/09/2009 13:18

Dont engage with her.If your ex wants to alter the arrangement then he should ask you, you can then tell him no/yes/not just yet. Its not your problem if she chooses to bring her children,its early days and not something to worry over

SolidGoldBrass · 11/09/2009 13:19

Ignore her. I was going to say, why on earth is the silly woman your FB friend and then I remembered that any old buttfuck can send you messages on FB.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 11/09/2009 13:26

SGB lol I like that word "buttfuck" lmao I will keep that!

this all started cos ds1 asked his sperm donor father to come and see him. so she sent me a long message telling me how she has 4 children and that the 2 younger ones should not have to sit in the car. well boo fucking hoo! don't come then it is his father he wants to see.

OP posts:
groundhogs · 11/09/2009 15:39

Jeez, clear example of gf overstepping boundaries there....

Agree, she doesn't have to be there, if your X wants/needs her to hold his hand, then that's between themselves, but she doesn't have to bring her kids if she thinks that is not right... If she doesn't want to/can't leave them with someone then, seems like your X will have to just deal with it....

Also didn't realise anyone can just message anyone on FB - can't you BLOCK her and stop her seeing/contacting you that way?

It just seems WAAAY too wierd her getting involved, especially as it appears to be only to throw spanners into the works...

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 11/09/2009 15:41

Oh she says she came with him to support him in visiting ds1 FFS he is 11!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 12/09/2009 14:38

Just got another one to say she does not want her children to sit in the car for an hour or 2 visit, but for at least the whole day and if I have made plans then I should change them as it would not be fair on her kids.

She has also said if ds1 and his father do see eachother then I should make sure he has enough money on him to pay his own way as her kids should not suffer.....

OP posts:
nickschick · 12/09/2009 14:43

I would mail her back and say your ds is interested in building a relationship with his Dad and any building of other relationships should come later,for now it would be respectful of her to allow privacy for your ds to spend time alone with his father.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 12/09/2009 14:45

Nicks, I agree but she reckons tosspot ex needs her support to visit ds1. Because there has been no contact for so long.

OP posts:
nickschick · 12/09/2009 14:49

Id be tempted to say you can support both of them and can your ex bring extra money so you can enjoy time with your dc as 'famiuly time' lmao thatd get her going.

pjmama · 12/09/2009 16:49

I just wouldn't reply to her?! Stick to whatever arrangements have been decided between you and ex and she can please herself what she does with herself or her children. IMO all this "support" bluster is rubbish, she just doesn't want to be left out and feels the need to make her presence felt.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 12/09/2009 21:38

I should explain ds1 and his father have seen eachother once in the last 4 yrs and that was when she brought her son and her along as he needed support. She has a problem with fact that because he didn't know the way it took longer than it normally does to get to mine. And thats why she feels her kids should not suffer.

Nicks lmao I like that idea!!!

OP posts:
2rebecca · 12/09/2009 23:16

I wouldn't reply to her and would block her on facebook. I would send a message either phone or text to your ex saying that any arrangements about your child should be done between the 2 of you and his girlfriend should keep out of it. She is definitely overstepping the boundaries here. If your husband wishes her to accompany him it's up to him and her to sort out alternative childminding for her kids if she thinks the trip is too long for them. It's not your problem and has nothing to do with the best interests of your child.

groundhogs · 12/09/2009 23:21

yeah, what 2rebecca said!

Best to get this all nipped in the bud right now, cos you know that is gonna cause bigger problems down the line...

MaggieVirgoOn · 12/09/2009 23:23

It's as though she WANTS contact with you.

Weird. (Her, obviously). Nobody made her trail along and sit in a car.

BumptiousandBustly · 14/09/2009 20:02

I just feel really sorry for your son. There is no way that your ex doesn't know is partner is doing this, she is probably doing it as he is too chicken.

How horrible for your son to come so low down his father's priority list.

My blood boils everytime I think about her saying he should bring his own money so her kids don't miss out.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 15/09/2009 17:12

Bump, this is why he has not seen him in 4 years. DS1 has always been low on his list of priorities.

OP posts:
BumptiousandBustly · 15/09/2009 17:50

TheLadyEvenstar

He obviously must be, how horrible for your son to have it made so clear to him!

You must be incandescent with rage at your ex, can't he at least make some effort....

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 15/09/2009 17:59

Bump, We have been apart for 9 yrs now and in that time i would say he has seen ds1 at a push 40 times...and in the last 4 yrs he has only seen him once.....

I went through a stage of being furious with him but ds1 made the decision that his dad is the man bringing him up and his father is the man who made him i.e my ex.

OP posts:
Hando · 15/09/2009 18:03

LadyEvenstar.. how come you have "bumped" this. Are you looking for advice or sympathy? as there isn't really much more people can say so not sure what good bumping is going to do, perhaps you should post on "relationships" for more support?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 15/09/2009 18:07

Hando I haven't bumped it, i replied to this poster

By BumptiousandBustly on Mon 14-Sep-09 20:02:55

OP posts:
CrazyPregnant · 15/09/2009 18:08

Hando, I think she was replying to BumptiousandBustly rather than "bumping" the thread.....

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 15/09/2009 18:08

so actually perhaps you should read posters names.

OP posts:
thesunshinesbrightly · 15/09/2009 20:17

i get messages about my child from my ex's gf not my ex!

i'd ignore her.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread