Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should 22yr old daughter pay board?

77 replies

Diamond47 · 08/09/2009 21:44

Having been financially supported through university, now has good taking home £1000.00 per month. She will soon start new job with more money. Refuses to pay board. States she shouldn't have to as - only stays at home 5 noghts per week, eats breakfats 5 mornings, takes lunch 5 days, eats dinner with us 2-3 times per week. Spends rest of time with boyfriend. She is going to move in with mates for 6 months then intends to move back home. Am feeling like a mug! Dont want to 'rock the boat' as she has suffered anxiety/ depression but now well. She uses all household facilities, expects food in fridge, tv, comfy hoome, etc. She has now taken food from my cupboard for ner house with mates! am getting to end of tether but don't want a huge argument. When I try to talk to her she tells me she will move to her Dads so her just say ok! HELP!

OP posts:
curiositykilled · 09/09/2009 13:43

yes she should pay what she's paying to live with her mates. Ask for that or refuse to let her move back.

curiositykilled · 09/09/2009 13:44

If she had to live with you I would say different maybe but she's choosing to move back having moved out.

dittany · 09/09/2009 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brettgirl2 · 09/09/2009 13:48

I really don't see how her having had depression is relevant here as long as she is now well.

Tell her to pay board or move out - it's simple.

If her dad will let her live for free then fine, let her take advantage of him.

Romanarama · 09/09/2009 13:48

I lived with my mum and dad for 1 year after I started working and didn't pay anything. I don't think they thought much about charging, more wanted to know that I had some long-term plans. Which I did. I'd say your dd's attitude seems to be the problem more than the money.

Eve4Walle · 09/09/2009 15:16

As soon as I left college and got a job at the age of 19, I paid rent. Bearing in mind, my first job paid £7000 a year and I paid £100 to live at home. I had almost £400 left a month which was plenty!

YANBU, she should be paying rent if she's earning.

Eve4Walle · 09/09/2009 15:16

£100 a month that is.

4littlelions · 09/09/2009 15:23

Tell her quite bluntly to pay up or push off. I had to tip up to my mum from the very first day I worked. All too common these days and she is taking liberties

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 09/09/2009 15:45

Oh yes, did not say. Before I went to university, I worked earning £70 per week, and paid £30 of that per week to my mum, just under half of my earnings. It still gave me plenty of money left over for the things I needed, as I needed to pay for nothing bill related.

prettyfly1 · 09/09/2009 15:59

I paid my own way through school and then gave my mum a third - and she had to do the same with her mum - bloody right she should pay up - freeloading little madam!

nappyaddict · 09/09/2009 16:02

Yes she should. I think she should be paying between £80 and £100 a month like me and all my friends do.

nappyaddict · 09/09/2009 16:05

sorry a week

daftpunk · 09/09/2009 16:05

absolutely she should pay..

£1000 per month take home pay..she should be paying £250 a month.

nappyaddict · 09/09/2009 16:07

hatesponge do you happen to know your colleague's daughter's gross monthly wage?

PestoSurfMonster · 09/09/2009 16:07

Yes, or move out

Colonelcupcake · 09/09/2009 16:13

FWIW

I am 23 I have a mortgage before this I paid board £25 per week

BoffinMum · 09/09/2009 16:18

Remove the bed from her room for some spurious reason, perhaps?? (I have considered this ...) 25% of take home pay is a sensible amount IMO.

BitOfFun · 09/09/2009 16:18

Awwww, you are all being big meanies, give her a break- she has got the rest of her life to shell out for life's necessities, why shouldn't Mum keep paying for her, she's still her daughter!!

Nah, only joking. Freeloading little madam

MillyR · 09/09/2009 16:25

I think this is a personal matter. It is up to you, OP.

I will let my children and any children they have live at home for as long as they want. I should have paid off the mortgage by then, so I see no need to charge rent.

cluckyagain · 09/09/2009 16:27

YES!!!

BoffinMum · 09/09/2009 16:38

MillyR, in response I think it depends what's best for the child. If they need to learn the value of money, then people should charge. If they have got that message, then no need really IMO, if they are otherwise of benefit to the household by helping with the washing up and buying the odd bag of groceries, etc.

Itsjustafleshwound · 09/09/2009 16:44

YANBU - she should at least wake her up to the real world and demand 1/3 of her salary for living expenses...

My parents did this to me the moment I started earning my own money. What they didn't tell me was that they put it into an account for me so when I finally did move out the house I had some money to set up my place with nice things ...

I would also get her dad on your side ...

MrsKitty · 09/09/2009 17:00

YANBU She should absolutely be contributing something towards household expenses - is taking the piss not to.

TrillianAstra · 09/09/2009 17:01

Aww, that sounds lovely fleshwound. My brother is 23 and still lives at home and he pays something (not sure what), but I think my parents use the money for things like feeding him (and the immense amount of electricity that teenage boys use up).

caramelwaffle · 09/09/2009 19:25

She should pay.

Perhaps £300 p/m without food/cleaning services.

£400 p/m with.

That leaves her enough to save up for deposits/future housing expenses etc