Should 22yr old daughter pay board?

[Diamond47]

Having been financially supported through university, now has good taking home £1000.00 per month. She will soon start new job with more money. Refuses to pay board. States she shouldn't have to as - only stays at home 5 noghts per week, eats breakfats 5 mornings, takes lunch 5 days, eats dinner with us 2-3 times per week. Spends rest of time with boyfriend. She is going to move in with mates for 6 months then intends to move back home. Am feeling like a mug! Dont want to 'rock the boat' as she has suffered anxiety/ depression but now well. She uses all household facilities, expects food in fridge, tv, comfy hoome, etc. She has now taken food from my cupboard for ner house with mates! am getting to end of tether but don't want a huge argument. When I try to talk to her she tells me she will move to her Dads so her just say ok! HELP!

[IWishIWasAFrog]

Yes she should.

When I moved back to my parents' (also mum and stepfather) after travelling (aged 23 and working again), they didn't ask me to pay anything, but I bought almost all the groceries (to the equivalent of what rent would have been) and cooked most nights to make up. Did this for 2 years 'till I moved in with my boyfriend.

I think she is very disrespectful.

[Pogleswood]

Wow - An AIBU where everyone is in agreement!

(or have I missed the poster who thinks she should live rent free?)

She is an adult and she should be contributing the running of the house,if she is living there.Why on earth does she think she shouldn't have to?

[caramelwaffle]

She should pay.

Perhaps £300 p/m without food/cleaning services.

£400 p/m with.

That leaves her enough to save up for deposits/future housing expenses etc

[TrillianAstra]

Aww, that sounds lovely fleshwound. My brother is 23 and still lives at home and he pays something (not sure what), but I think my parents use the money for things like feeding him (and the immense amount of electricity that teenage boys use up).

[MrsKitty]

YANBU She should absolutely be contributing something towards household expenses - is taking the piss not to.

[Itsjustafleshwound]

YANBU - she should at least wake her up to the real world and demand 1/3 of her salary for living expenses...

My parents did this to me the moment I started earning my own money. What they didn't tell me was that they put it into an account for me so when I finally did move out the house I had some money to set up my place with nice things ...

I would also get her dad on your side ...

[BoffinMum]

MillyR, in response I think it depends what's best for the child. If they need to learn the value of money, then people should charge. If they have got that message, then no need really IMO, if they are otherwise of benefit to the household by helping with the washing up and buying the odd bag of groceries, etc.

[cluckyagain]

YES!!!

[MillyR]

I think this is a personal matter. It is up to you, OP.

I will let my children and any children they have live at home for as long as they want. I should have paid off the mortgage by then, so I see no need to charge rent.

[BitOfFun]

Awwww, you are all being big meanies, give her a break- she has got the rest of her life to shell out for life's necessities, why shouldn't Mum keep paying for her, she's still her daughter!!

Nah, only joking. Freeloading little madam

[BoffinMum]

Remove the bed from her room for some spurious reason, perhaps?? (I have considered this ...) 25% of take home pay is a sensible amount IMO.

[Colonelcupcake]

FWIW

I am 23 I have a mortgage before this I paid board £25 per week

[PestoSurfMonster]

Yes, or move out

[nappyaddict]

hatesponge do you happen to know your colleague's daughter's gross monthly wage?

[daftpunk]

absolutely she should pay..

£1000 per month take home pay..she should be paying £250 a month.

[nappyaddict]

sorry a week

[nappyaddict]

Yes she should. I think she should be paying between £80 and £100 a month like me and all my friends do.

[prettyfly1]

I paid my own way through school and then gave my mum a third - and she had to do the same with her mum - bloody right she should pay up - freeloading little madam!

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

Oh yes, did not say. Before I went to university, I worked earning £70 per week, and paid £30 of that per week to my mum, just under half of my earnings. It still gave me plenty of money left over for the things I needed, as I needed to pay for nothing bill related.

[4littlelions]

Tell her quite bluntly to pay up or push off. I had to tip up to my mum from the very first day I worked. All too common these days and she is taking liberties

[Eve4Walle]

£100 a month that is.

[Eve4Walle]

As soon as I left college and got a job at the age of 19, I paid rent. Bearing in mind, my first job paid £7000 a year and I paid £100 to live at home. I had almost £400 left a month which was plenty!

YANBU, she should be paying rent if she's earning.

[Romanarama]

I lived with my mum and dad for 1 year after I started working and didn't pay anything. I don't think they thought much about charging, more wanted to know that I had some long-term plans. Which I did. I'd say your dd's attitude seems to be the problem more than the money.

[brettgirl2]

I really don't see how her having had depression is relevant here as long as she is now well.

Tell her to pay board or move out - it's simple.

If her dad will let her live for free then fine, let her take advantage of him.