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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

childrens names

89 replies

verazafira · 07/09/2009 20:16

a colleague of mine had a baby last week and named her florence. i had twins 3 months ago and one of those is florence, i dont mind this but still find it strange, but to cap it all today someone i know in our village has named her new baby martha which is my older daughters name(her other daughter goes to same nursery) i choose my childrens names as they are individual and have never gone with the crowd i am really mad about this , any advice, am i being unreasonable.

OP posts:

PeedOffWithNits · 07/09/2009 22:05

Oh and we don't see them more than twice a year, and when filling us in on family news MIL refers to x and family, never mentions the childs name, because that name means OUR baby we lost.

plonker · 07/09/2009 22:08

YAB V U as no doubt you've realised by now.

You don't own the names. And it's not like they're unknown names at that.

peedoffwithnits - sorry for your loss What an incredibly insensitive thing for your dh's cousin to do.

BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 22:12

I don't know of anyone with either name.

Perhaps a litlle unreasonable but the same happened to me, 13 years ago when I had my daughter no one had heard of her name and now everyone seems to call their daughter it

skybright · 07/09/2009 22:12

PeedOffWithNits..Asoulutly appalling.quite speechless that someone would do that and not have the sense to see that it would be so hurtful.

BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 22:12

Just read that back looks like "it" is her name, obviously it's not

Rindercella · 07/09/2009 22:12

PeedOff. That is truly shocking behaviour

paisleyleaf · 07/09/2009 22:14

Florence and Martha?
They're not common where I live (yet). I don't know any.
But a colleague's daughter and a sibling of a nursery playmate isn't too bad.

PeedOffWithNits · 07/09/2009 22:15

sorry to turn the thread serious, i do think Op is being a tad silly BTW!

CarmenSanDiego · 07/09/2009 22:16

My older daughter has an unusual name and shortly after she was born, an old schoolfriend changed her /own/ name to the same first name as my daughter.

I found that very peculiar. But not really a problem, especially as I hardly ever see her.

gentlemum1 · 07/09/2009 22:17

sorry for the lady who lost her child. i realllly sympathize with the person that thought they had found different names to give their children exactly the same happened to me only days ago but theses were very close friends and the names were also florence and martha, i am still miffed and mad also but feel bad for thinking it

Rindercella · 07/09/2009 22:22

PeedOff, no need to apologise. Hope the OP will see that in the grand scheme of things, she really has nothing to be mad about.

gentlemum, I think your post has just proved that Florence and Martha are indeed popular names. For a very good reason - they are both lovely

Rindercella · 07/09/2009 22:23

PeedOff, no need to apologise. Hope the OP will see that in the grand scheme of things, she really has nothing to be mad about.

gentlemum, I think your post has just proved that Florence and Martha are indeed popular names. For a very good reason - they are both lovely

LetThemEatCake · 07/09/2009 22:30

I know several Florences and several Marthas. YAB extremely U. Your sister would perhaps be out of order- but a colleague and some random local????

I actually don't like either name in the slightest and marvel at their current popularity. Who are you more p'd off with now, me for expressing dislike if your choices or these other women, for expressing a liking in the most definite way possible?

edd021208 · 07/09/2009 23:16

OP - yes, YABU and maybe your attitude 'as they are individual and have never gone with the crowd' comes across as a little self-defeating. I don't think anyone imagines that they are not individuals, and nobody likes to think they just go with the crowd. As the names you chose seem relatively popular at the moment, maybe you'll just have to accept there are other ways of being true to yourself and your aspirations for your children than through your choice of names....

ErikaMaye · 07/09/2009 23:22

PeedOff sorry to hear that x

OP - YABU, but can see why it would bother you. My cousin had her fourth son a few months ago, and knew that we'd decided on one of two names for our baby if it was a boy. The week before our scan, she text and said she'd had her baby, and had called him one of the two names. I was really angry about it, and still am slightly annoyed if I'm totally honest But I know I'm being very unreasonable!!

twirlymum · 07/09/2009 23:32

We had decided on the name Erin for a girl, but hadn't told anyone. DH's cousin had a baby a month before our due date, a girl, and called her Erin! Just luck sometimes (or lack of it) We changed our choice then, and the name suits our dd.

gentlemum1 · 07/09/2009 23:32

erikamaye, you are not being unreasonable.i would/do feel the same. i think the person that started this chat probably doesnt feel the names are unusual, as they clearly are not, but the fact that close friends/ collegues used the same names must be upsetting. i really liked a rare name once and found another little girl living near us was named it. so i choose not to use it out of respect

ErikaMaye · 07/09/2009 23:37

Thanks gentlemum1 It wasn't an entirely unusual name either, really - Harvey. Thankfully, although not out of the womb yet (!!) our little man seems like more of a Bryn than a Harvey after all, and we're happy with that. Think it was the principle of it, really. It was really nice of you to change the name, hope the one you used in the end suited your DD

gentlemum1 · 07/09/2009 23:44

erikamaye. harvey is a lovely name and unusual where i live (all thomas, chloes etc) it just proves that in different areas of britain what are usual and unusual names change dramatically, and it is the principal of taking someones namethatthey may have thought long and hard aboutthat affects people

ErikaMaye · 07/09/2009 23:47

That was exactly it! Mainly because she told me that they hadn't thought of any names and were going to leave it a week or so after he was born to decide on one...

norksinmywaistband · 07/09/2009 23:53

I ironically had a similar thing tonight. I found out a friend called her DD the same name as my dd both first and middle names we move in the same circles, she knows my dd's name so think this is quite odd. And it is an unusual name

lockets · 07/09/2009 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gentlemum1 · 07/09/2009 23:59

erikamaye, the same happened to me , the person who has just had a baby was originally going to call her daughter by my older daughters name(she had her daughter two weeks after me)but decided it wasnt right but since having her new daughter has now decided on calling her my daughters name. how strange

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 00:00

I like Bryn better, fwiw. We never discussed our babies' names until they were born - it was because we didn't particularly want anyone else's input; it didn't occur to me that someone might nick them .

ErikaMaye · 08/09/2009 00:01

I know a few Kitty's - though some of them use it as a shortened name, I think.

gentlemum1 aren't people odd, sometimes?!?

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