to cash in my childrens savings plans?

[kaz33]

We are in debt, for several years since the boys were born (8,6) we have been struggling with debt. I gave up my lucrative job and we bought a house we could not afford (only three beds but nice area)

DH just got a £20K bonus, and have just paid off over £10k. We are roughly £30k in debt but finally we are earning enough to maintain our comfortable but not totally extravagant lifestyle.

The boys have got about £7.5k in their savings plan I want to cash them in and pay off some more of our debt.

Is this totally immoral ? What would you do?

I'm not scared of harsh words

In my book £100k plus joint annual income is huge, but there you go, each to thier own...

No private schools, after school club and mum and dad pick them up one day a week. So no savings there, no expensive after school clubs other than football.

Yes, the real winners will be my kids - my parents have set them up stakeholder pensions and no doubt will inherit a large amount of money. My parents are in there 60's and very healthy so inheritance could be a long time coming by which time we will be retired no doubt. Try not to expect anything from them and they paid for a weeks holiday for us this year so that was a huge treat. Then of course I have to resist sending them a big bunch of flowers to say thankyou

I just need to grow up a bit.

lol at stealing it, it is hers! she hasn't given it to them and then taken it back it is sitting in a bank acc doing nothing

IME the knowledge of savings when turning 18 etc has always turned out to be bad for the child concerned. Bad attitude to money, not bothering with jobs etc etc because they knew they were getting a windfall come 18

Sherby - it's her children's saving plans, so it's theirs, not hers.

As for bad attitude to money - my grandparents saved something up for me, I'm 30 and now paying my wedding from it, which I otherwise could not afford.

Have you asked your parents if they can loan you the money to help you with the debt?

I presume you weren't given the money at 18 if you still have it now aged 30?

And the money IS HERS she has not given it to them yet it is INTENDED for them, completely different imo

Jeez, that last post was so immature and selfish.
You almost seem jealous that you're DC will inherit your parents money and that they're too young so not dying anytime soon to help you out!
Stop looking for quick fixes and look to your own behaviour to sort your financial mess out!

Sherby - agreed, when I was 18 my parents bought a flat for me to stay in when I was at Uni and then gave my half the profits when we sold it. Worst thing ever, stopped my growing up.

Think I set up the saving fund for the kids so that we would have some influence over them, to counter my parents controlling them through money as they did to me repeatedly.

A psychologist would have a field day with that one and maybe that is at the route of my dsyfunctional relationship with money.

Sherby - I had full access to the money since my 18th birthday. I used some of it for expenses I needed but couldn't pay for straight away with my part time jobs when at school/uni.

Lizzylou, think you read to much into that - I don't have any problems with my parents living till they are 100 and leaving us nothing and my kids everything. Once I did, but no longer.

Kaz did you say if you have asked your parents if they can loan you the money?

well bloody hell good for you

I really do mean that. I have known 3 people who came into money at 18, amounts between 10,000 - 35,000 and they all with out fail blew the lot.

From 16 onwards it was when I get my money, when I get my money, when I get my money. One gambled it away, another spent it on drinks/drugs at uni and told his parents he paid tuition with it and another quit her job and lived off the money for a year watching tv and getting out of bed at 2 in the afternoon!

Sounds like the mortgage is the biggest expense then + servicing debt.

It does sound like you could trade your cars in for cheaper models, TBH.

If you have such great family support and childcare then I'm sorry but I really think you should get yourself back to work full-time and also work towards a promotion. If your full-time salary rate is £70k then you would earn an extra £28k in the year which is £16,250 after 41% income tax and NIC, that's a lot of money even in one year and you would have more than paid off your debt in 2 years.

It is your money,i'm sure your financial situation will be different in 10 years to give the kids money if you choose to.

I can't believe all these posters have saving accounts for the kids!

Kaz, OK, maybe I did, but it sound like you were resentful of them a tad.
From your subsequent post it seems you have issues with your parents and money.
You do need to get this sorted.
Just think, you could be debt free and getting a £13k bonus to spend on whatever.

You and your partner need to sit down and agree a monthly budget and put the leftovers into a savings account or DD towards the debt.

Then you need to not exceed the budget.

It sounds to me like you should be able to make serious inroads into the debt if you get a grip on your financial situation. This will also be a good example for your children, meaning that when they get the money at 18 they might have some respect for it and not blow it.

No, I won't ask them to lend me the money.

We can afford to pay our interest repayments just want to pay the debt off so that we can plan for ours and our children's future.

I don't think you should ask them for the money. That is teaching you nothing, just that somebody else with bail you out if need be.

Take the savings, pay some debt off, work towards the rest being paid off and teach it as a lesson learned.

I don't think you should ask your parents for money either.
But there are some good tips on this thread, I bet you could seriously chip away at the debt if you could take some on board (and get your DH on board too).
Does your DH feel like he has to provide a certain standard of living for you and your DC because you have come from a wealthy background?

We were never really in a position where we should have been saving money for the kids - think I did it because I needed to feel that I had some influence on my kids so when my parents said "why don't you do this?" we'll pay for it I would be able to say no actually you don't have to do that because we can support you.

Why wouldn't you ask them? Ansd yes it is someone bailing you (temporarily) out but isn't that what you woudd be doing with your kids money?

Genuine question - do you not want to ask your parents because you know you'll have to pay it back whereas if you take it out of your kids savings you won't?

Because we don't need to ask them, though you might not believe it I am an adult and I stand on my own two feet. Our relationship is the best it has been for years and I am not putting that at jeopardy.