to be so cross with DD and so sad with what she has done?

[wheresclaire]

While I thought she was playing in her room she was actually in my room and had found my special box hidden in my dressing table. She has managed to lose DS lock of baby hair. I am so sad, feel really gutted. DS is really upset with her too. I know she didnt know what it was but it was really special to me.

You are right to be sad but don't be too cross with her. As you say, she didn't know what what it was but as you don't say how old she is it's difficult to know whether or not she should have known better than to be poking round in your dressing table!

no, yanbu to feel upset... is it really GONE? How old is your dd?

She is only 3 so I cant be too cross. She said she put it on the floor.I have found a few strands but there wasn't a lot to begin with and its so fair and fine. Think i might get some selotape and see what I can pick up!! Or is that obsessing a bit?

I think you should be cross that she was in your room without permission.

I also think you are right to be sad about what she did but it wasn't intentional on her part to destroy the hair.

I cut a lock of DD1's hair when she was tiny but seem to have lost it a long time ago. The thing is I remember cutting it and that is the main thing. I remember how soft her hair was as a baby. Seeing it in an old envelope wouldn't bring back more memories than I already have.

Plus when my dd's come to clear my house out when I am (hopefully) old, dead and gone, it would just be an old envelope to be tossed in the bin. Would your DS really want it forever and ever?

Memories are the main thing, stuff is just stuff.

And if the memory goes when I'm old and grey then I wouldn't remember what the dust in the envelope was anyway !

Thats funny Kate. Just glad she didnt find the baby teeth or i would have had to explain the tooth fairy!

Today our dog chewed up the wee gift that the kindergarden gave DS when he left. It was one of those bead pictures of a penguin with his name on it. I cried. How silly, but it was special to me, he loved kindergarten and his teachers cried when he left.

It is not unreasonable to be cross with DD, and upset. But as, Kate said, it is only the symbol of the memory. The memory is still there.

I kept DD's first lock of hair. No idea where it is now, we have moved house 3 times since then. Poor DS, I don't think we even bothered keeping a lock of his hair.

YANBU to be upset. You are being a bit unreasonable to be cross - she's only 3.

I remember my mum had a china teaset inherited from her grandmother, that she loved. I loved it, too, and kept taking it out to play with. One by one, I broke pieces. My mum kept asking me to leave it alone, but I just couldn't resist it - until it was all broken.

It was wrong of me, and looking back I can't see for the life of me why my mum didn't put it somewhere I couldn't reach it, but I also remember that peculiar single-mindedness you get as a small child, when you just forget all the reasons why you shouldn't do something, you just glaze over because it's so fascinating.

I think when you have small children you have to let go a little of being overfond of things - because odds are they'll get broken or lost. That doesn't mean you shouldn't lay down rules and boundaries, and your dd should know she did wrong, but you should try to move on from it now. You will get loads and loads of mementoes of your children as they move through childhood.

DD3 found the lipstick I wore to my wedding recently (which I had been keeping as a memento) and spread it all over herself and lots of the house
She looked so sheepish when I caught her, it was priceless! The lipstick wasn't salvagable, but she's given me a very funny memory in it's place

I agree with you, hester

Irrelevant but I still have lock of ds baby hair and he is 39!!

Pranma, I wanted to still have a lock of DS baby hair when he is 39. Sob!

it was not a purposeful malicious act.she's 3.

dont get stuck on past mementoes you have hear and now.take some lovely pictures for future

wheresclaire-yanbu to be upset but dont be cross.

i agree that the memory will be there-of cutting your ds hair.you also have a new memory to add-the day your dd raided your room!

if your ds is only 6 he might like it if you cut a tiny bit now (if long enough-i breed hippys and assume others do too!)and put it in a special 6 year old boy keep sake place

Got to agree that you probably do have to let go of being overfond of stuff when your children are very little. Or at least learn to hide precious things far from prying little fingers. I'd have been upset too but mostly with my failure to shut my bedroom door properly!

It's the memory that is important- try not to get too upset about the physical reminder of it

Blimey! when I read that your Dd had found your 'special box', I thought she'd found your naughty stuff play box.

(I admit to the same)

My Ds was reaching for something as a 3yo and managd to break a quartz wand I have that contained thousands if not millions! of years old water...I was gutted, but couldn't get cross with him.

*managed

TBH i think its a bit weird keeping parts of childrens bodies as a momento ,i mean what else ?
toe nail clippings
first scab off knee
tissue discarded after first wank

yuck !! YABU

Aww, YANBU to be upset, but YABU to be cross with her, she honestly didn't know. DD lost her own lock of baby hair I had and I must have looked upset although held in the crossness and she said "Don't worry mummy, I can give you some more I will get my scissors. I'm sorry mummy."

YANBU to be upset and cross.But these things happen!