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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cry and be so so upset because the my first day to myself without ds in months has just been cancelled

51 replies

juicychops · 03/09/2009 17:23

it has been planned for 2 months. ds goes to his great aunts every friday night until saturday morning. Tomorrow she was gunna have him for the whole day. i never get days to myself without ds apart from when im at work which obviously isn't the same.

i had planned to go tower of london for the day by myself which i have been waiting for an oportunity to do for about 5 months since i took ds but couldn't go on a beefeater tour as ds was bored of standing around.

so i have been so so so SO looking forward to tomorrow and his aunt rang a couple of hours to cancel.

i am irationally devestated. i will not get another day to myself for god knows how long.the last time i had a day to myself was i cant even remember when!!!!

i feel so down its rediculous. and i know people are going to say isn't there anyone else you can ask to have him to give me a break, but really there is no one

OP posts:
Mousey84 · 03/09/2009 17:30

Its hard when you are let down - I know the feeling very well. You are very lucky to have someone who takes him overnight once a week, and I hope that you continue to show appreciation, even though she has let you down on this occasion.

Can you reschedule the day off?

What age is your DS? Do you know any childminders that you could ask about taking him for a few hours, or a day, once in a while? Id be happy to take on a child in this sort of situation, as long as the parent is aware that it will need to fit around the kids I already have. (I have one child whose mum works shifts and I know what days Ill have her up to a month in advance - I would love to fill her space on her days off)

Original poster
juicychops · 03/09/2009 17:40

she was going to take him to the beach but because its not meant to be a nice day she's not taking him anymore. i wouldn't like to ask her to have him another day instead as she has him friday nights as it is so i consider that enough on her part - this whole day was just a bonus

dont know any child minders but i have a thing about them anyway and just wouldn't be happy with my ds with a child minder.

ds starts school in a few weeks so although i will be working 3-4 out of the 5 days i will get friday to myself once he's there full time.

just really needed this day to myself. got so many problems going on at the moment that i just needed the distraction from it all and a day to not have to worry about a thing

OP posts:
slowreadingprogress · 03/09/2009 17:58

blimey, you do get loads of child free time already! My ds has only been offered about 4 sleepovers in his life!

I can understand that you were disappointed, but I think you may be taking that amount of child free time a week a little for granted?

PrincessToadstool · 03/09/2009 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SusieDerkins · 03/09/2009 18:01

Wow. My dc are 4 and 3 and I have never had the chance to have a night away from them.

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 03/09/2009 18:04

yanbu. We never get dd free time but if someone had offered it and it had been cancleled I'd probably cry!
But I am a tiddly bit jealous you do get free time. Not had child free time in 18 years here! Had planned a night away in August but dd went n had a seizure so had to stay in hospital with her instead and lost my train ticket money.
So you are NBU to feel disappointed but maybe a BU to expect too much sympathy

MmeLindt · 03/09/2009 18:04

I still get irrationally disappointed if something that I have been looking forward to gets cancelled. I think that I should have grown out of it at some point but my inner child is still there, stamping on the ground wailing, "It's not fair"

Never mind, have a lovely evening tomorrow and look forward to him going to school.

LyraSilvertongue · 03/09/2009 18:06

YANBU, it's gutting when something you've so looked forward to gets cancelled at the last minute.

aGalChangedHerName · 03/09/2009 18:08

God you are lucky to have a night off once a week tbh. I have had that 2x in the last 2 years. Anytime off during the day (am a CM) is spent with my own dc so i never get a day to myself. Lots of people in the same boat and i know it's shit!!

LovelyLulu · 03/09/2009 18:11

Can you have some 'me' time when your Great Aunt has him on Friday night? Then a lay-in on Saturday morning?

I suppose you don't want to be too cheeky, but if she was going to have him anyway, she may not mind taking him to soft play or something like that if it's not going to be a nice day. Could you ask her?

I am looking forward to a little child-free time when my dd starts school next week!! Nobody has ever had my dc overnight, you are lucky to have someone who is willing to do that for you.

Original poster
juicychops · 03/09/2009 18:22

when ds isn't there friday nights its not really any different to when he is there as i dont go out in the evenings. Friday night is my study night but instead of doing it at home il go to a cafe or bluewater to do it as i get distracted doing it at home. i dont have money to go on nights out

OP posts:
Original poster
juicychops · 03/09/2009 18:24

and i do have my saturday morning treat which is porridge in Macdonalds. she drops him home at 9.45am so get up at about 7.30

whats a lay in???

OP posts:
Ceolas · 03/09/2009 18:29

I can see you'd be disappointed but to cry and be so so upset seems a bitt OTT to me. As others have said you are lucky that his aunt does so much for you already.

MIAonline · 03/09/2009 18:32

YANBU,

I can understand your disappointment, but you shouldn't make so little of what your are already getting. Knowing you can sleep until 7.30 once a week without fail is a luxury.

Use you Friday evening to pamper yourself with a bubble bath, paint your nails, whatever you do to unwind. Leave your study nights for the rest of the week when your Ds is there but asleep.

foofi · 03/09/2009 18:32

Was going to say YANBU as I thought you meant the first time on your own. But you do seem to get some time alone anyway so YABU.

slowreadingprogress · 03/09/2009 18:34

i think they ARE different tbh, it's just about your view of it. You get Friday pms when you have the luxury of not being the one responsible for a child; you are able to get out, and study without having to be caring for him at the same time. You have your treat on a Sat morning.....I do think you are taking it alot for granted, speaking as the mother of a 7 year old who has had less sleepovers than you could count on one hand!

CyradisTheSeer · 03/09/2009 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

slowreadingprogress · 03/09/2009 18:37

good idea Cyradis - at least this time you can afford a night out! Cinema? Curry or something with a friend??

becaroo · 03/09/2009 18:44

I can understand your disappointment but do you think that your reaction is in part due to the stressful other things "going on" in your life at the moment?

As other posters have said, do something for you on one night a week - doesnt have to be going out.

gingernutlover · 03/09/2009 18:45

i can understand why you are upset as it was something you were looking forward to.

But, i agree with everyone who is saying that you get a lot of childfree time, well a lot more than i do. I am either at work or with dd and the last time I slept past 6 was god knows when.

If i knew dd was away for the night and not back til 9.45 am I would lay in til 9.44am so the opportunity is there!

Just think of when he starts school

Original poster
juicychops · 03/09/2009 18:53

i suppose i am quite lucky compared tomany

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 03/09/2009 18:58

Have you got anyone to go out with on a Friday night. Go to the cinema, grab a pizza? Make the most of the free time you have.

Biglips · 03/09/2009 19:05

juicychops - yeah YABabitU as you are lucky youve got free time on Friday nites as last time i had a free time was before my dd2 was born (a year ago), but i love being with my girls.

ThingOne · 03/09/2009 20:01

YABU as he starts school in a few weeks and you'll have plenty of time then.

MissSunny · 03/09/2009 20:13

Message withdrawn

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