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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cry and be so so upset because the my first day to myself without ds in months has just been cancelled

51 replies

juicychops · 03/09/2009 17:23

it has been planned for 2 months. ds goes to his great aunts every friday night until saturday morning. Tomorrow she was gunna have him for the whole day. i never get days to myself without ds apart from when im at work which obviously isn't the same.

i had planned to go tower of london for the day by myself which i have been waiting for an oportunity to do for about 5 months since i took ds but couldn't go on a beefeater tour as ds was bored of standing around.

so i have been so so so SO looking forward to tomorrow and his aunt rang a couple of hours to cancel.

i am irationally devestated. i will not get another day to myself for god knows how long.the last time i had a day to myself was i cant even remember when!!!!

i feel so down its rediculous. and i know people are going to say isn't there anyone else you can ask to have him to give me a break, but really there is no one

OP posts:
AramintaCane · 03/09/2009 20:20

Miss Sunny giver her a big hug you are very lucky .That is somthing i have never had in the last 12 years - not one night or day off when not working. It is very hard.

MissSunny · 03/09/2009 20:23

Message withdrawn

EyeballsintheSky · 03/09/2009 20:31

I can't believe you get up at 7.30 on a Saturday to go and get a poxy porridge. I'd go for a lie in till 9.30 and be up in time to stick some clothes and kettle on for your aunt.

TheCrackFox · 03/09/2009 20:32

If my DCs were being returned at 9.45am I would get up when the doorbell rings.

CloudDragon · 03/09/2009 20:40

sorry yabu - you get a whole night to yourself every week. I've had 3 nights in 4 years and loved every minute of it.

You also only have one child by the sound of it so you also had his nap times to yourself when he was younger and he's off to school when you will have hours to yourself.

Find a friend with a DC of a similar age and do childcare swaps, great for kids and you.

CloudDragon · 03/09/2009 20:41

love every minute of the nights off to make that clear

danthe4th · 03/09/2009 21:17

Tell her its meant to be a heatwave starting on saturday, just seen the forecast and theyve changed their minds yet again, and yes yabu i've had 3 nights off in 14 years and manage to catch a few child free moments when I can but thats life except it.

Conundrumish · 03/09/2009 21:24

Yes YABU - I had my first child free time in the week for years (8?) as my youngest started nursery today. Hated it

peppapighastakenovermylife · 03/09/2009 21:34

I had a child free night once - I was a bit busy giving birth though .

YANBU to be disappointed that plans have been cancelled.

YABU as you have child free time and will have it when he starts school.

Am I missing something about mcdonalds porridge? Is it that good?

Oh and 7.30 is a lie in

Seriously though, sorry you had your plans cancelled but you were never going to get sympathy when you have one night off a week. Just out of interest are you a single parent? As I think that is different - a friend described it to me at the time as in she never got 5 minutes to herself that a partner may give so used to put her DD in nursery an extra day just to breathe a bit.

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 04/09/2009 07:37

am . No nights in 18 years.

purepurple · 04/09/2009 07:43

YABU
I didn't have my children to palm them off with other people.
Get over yourself.

independiente · 04/09/2009 08:01

ouch purepurple!

GoldenSnitch · 04/09/2009 08:02

One night off a week!!

My MIL practically begs to have my DS for sleepovers and I don't get that much time off!!

Cancelling plans is upsetting but I think any sympathy you might have got is being diluted by peoples envy of your regular night off

CheerfulYank · 04/09/2009 08:08

Really, purepurple?

ssd · 04/09/2009 08:18

YABU, you get a night a week!
we've had one night in 12 years and about 2 seperate days as well!

you sound a tad self indulgent

GoldenSnitch · 04/09/2009 08:18

No-one has children to "palm them off" on others!

Occasionally though, it is nice for both the parents and the children to have some time off. Parents can relax and refresh and are nicer parents as a result and Children can learn lots by being allowed to spend time with other adults.

I certainly think it will help my DS when he goes to school that he knows that it is OK to be left with other adults other than just me and DH and that we will always come back for him.

He is happier and more secure knowing that he has GPs and Aunts and Uncles who love him too than he would be if he'd been closeted at home with just me!

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 04/09/2009 09:10

all parents need a break purepurple. Most of us don't get one of course but gawds it would be nice.
I've 'palmed' mine off on the school today so a couple of hours all alone!

OtterInaSkoda · 04/09/2009 09:18

purepurple - good grief! Surely the more people (within reason) who love and care for a child the better? One night in seven is hardly "palming off"!

OP - YANBU to be upset. It's totally understandable. But chin up - your ds will be at school soon and before you know it you'll be upset that you don't see him enough; my ds comes in from school, dumps his stuff, and buggers off to play with his friends. Then it's tea, bath, bed. And he isn't even 9 yet - goodness knows what it'll be like when he's 15

Original poster
juicychops · 04/09/2009 09:37

Purepurple, i DO NOT palm my child off!!!

my ds's great aunt ASKS to have him every friday night because she loves ds. ds loves going there for the night and its nice for him to have someone else looking after him rather than being with me 24/7 as his dad has nothing to do with him

so it is hardly palming him off on others. i would never ask someone to look after him for the night unless it was an absolute emergency. his aunt OFFERS

YOU get over yourself

OP posts:
narna · 04/09/2009 09:49

YANBU i would be gutted too,it sounds like a lovely day you had planned.

Stigaloid · 04/09/2009 10:06

Why not take your DS with you to the Tower of London?

Original poster
juicychops · 04/09/2009 10:13

i took him months months ago and he did enjoy it, but i didn't get to look at everything i wanted to and read all the information. (ds is 4)

ive been waiting for an opportunity to go again alone so that i can go on a beefeater tour which i just couldn't do with ds as he would get bored standing around.

i am really into tudor history so the history of places like this really fascinate me so planning to go there today on my own was quite a big thing to me. thats why i feel so disappointed its not happening now. if i hadn't of planned anything i wouldn't be half as sad about it as it would just be a normal day with ds.

OP posts:
Stigaloid · 04/09/2009 10:24

It's rotten when you have high expectations and they get dashed, however why not ask your aunt if she still wouldn't mind looking after him, or better yet inviting her along too to share the childcare so you can read all you want and DS can be entertained by another as you go?

OtterInaSkoda · 04/09/2009 10:29

Juicy if you lived near me (I take it you're in the London area) I'd invite your ds over to play with mine for the day, in return for a Tower of London snowstorm. You'll get there soon, I'm sure. Enjoy it when you do

OtterInaSkoda · 04/09/2009 10:32

Stigaloid - great idea for Juicy to ask her great aunt along, too.

I can't get over all the posts though! Blimey, it's not like the OP buggers off to Ibiza every other weekend!