To be annoyed at DH for putting the TV on.

[KembleTwins]

So we're all at home today, for the Bank Hol. This morning, DH and I both had things to do around the house, so the DTs (aged 3) played in the playroom for a bit, then came with me to do the recycling and a bit of supermarket shopping, "helped" me hang the washing out (by hiding pegs...), helped me change their bedding and tidy their room and so on, and then we all had lunch together. After lunch, I popped into town to buy a birthday present. DH had said fine, he'd look after the DTs whilst I did that. When I got home, I discovered that they'd sat and watched "Beauty and the Beast" Fine, I'm not averse to them watching TV, and we do watch DVDs together sometimes, but DH must have put the TV on the moment I left the house, as the film had finished by the time I got home. AND he does this EVERY time he has them on his own.
I am annoyed because I would rather they didn't watch TV when the weather is nice so they could have been outide, and also because they have plenty of toys and games to play with. Mainly I'm annoyed though because he does this every time I go out, and he doesn't understand that they don't have to be "entertained" all the time - they are perfectly able to play freely. I suspect he just wanted a bit of peace, and thought that was the best way.

AIBU?

YABU.It's bank holiday and he let them watch a film.

Sounds like a perfectly balanced day to me - playing, helping out around the house, shopping, dvd....

Are you just pissed off that your DH got to do the 'easy' bit rather than the chores? If so, divvy things up differently.

But I honestly can't see anything wrong with your children's day overall.

nowt wrong with wanting a bit of peace imo

I think YANBU to a certain extent.

As you say, it's fine to watch a film. It's DH putting the telly on for them every time you go out which is off. Sometimes would be fine, but not a regular pattern. My DH does that with DS as soon as he can't be bothered to entertain him anymore.

YABU does he have to do what you say with the DCs even when you're not with them??

Fair enough. I guess I'm being pretty unreasonable to be cross then. It's just that he does it EVERY time...

yanbu. I know EXACTLY what you mean

YABU this time as it sounds like a well balanced day
YANBU to be cross he does it EVERY time for an easy life
Next time you pop out say in passing as you leave 'do you mind keeping the tv off please as they've watched a bit too much recently? thanks' and let him find something else for them to do

Agree with allabout me.

My dp has a tendency to do this with dd also aged 3. The thing is he's fine if he's taking her to the shops/park etc but he doesn't seem to like supervising her alone at ahome without the aid of the TV. Makes me annoyed too.

A bit of telly won't kill them but what I think you're really upset about is that you have not only entertained them all day but also done the chores while he has sat on his arse? If so then no YANBU as it sounds like my life!!

YANBU, if he always relies on the TV when spending time with his own children.

I think maybe you're being a bit hard on him. If they enjoyed it, what's wrong with that? Sounds like they had a great day with both of you.

Well at least they watched something vaguely appropriate. Could have been far far worse as well. They could have been doing messy play and you could have walked in on the tidying up part. So YABU a bit.

YANBU - my dh does this a lot too. If it's not the telly then it's diggers and stuff on YouTube.

I work damned hard to keep ds amused. I could easily shove on the telly all day, but I don't. And one of the reasons that I don't, is that we agreed that we wouldn't.

YANBU - exactly the same with my DH too. When he comes home from work he scoops DS up, gives him a hug and says 'hey, shall we go and watch Ben 10' and then flops on the sofa with him... i'm like.. WTF.. I've spent all day thinking of interesting and varied things to do with him that doesn't involve tv. and the thing that gets me the most? it's the daddy-hero-worship! i do worry that if i got run over by a bus tomorrow, my DC would be raised on a diet of 24 hour Cartoon Network and sausage sandwiches (made with white bread).

YANBU - however I can see this from both sides.

If I am honest, both dh and I will put the tv on for the dcs if we are tired/stressed etc and need a break. We share the childcare almost 50/50 due to my shifts.

However, we do communicate. For example if he comes home at lunchtime and I have been v tired and they have watched a bit too much in the morning,I will ask him if he would mind taking them to the park/garden etc if possible.

At the weekend I might take them out in the morning (before my shift) and then say to him that if he needs a bit of a break why not let them have a dvd while he reads the paper etc.

Imo your issue is more to do with him not making much effort when he is with the dcs rather than a tv issue as such.

YANBU my DH does this with our 7 mth old, it really upsets me as it means he's paying no attention to her and he hardly gets to see her during the week.

I'm constantly asking him to turn it off - she's not old enough to watch TV and it's not child appropriate stuff anyway - this morning the X Files film!

YABU - if you don't want them to watch dvd's, why have them in the house? It was your DH's bank holiday too, and you said he had things to do round the house in the morning. So maybe he was ready to relax a little in the afternoon. Sometimes we all need a break from interesting and varied things - that's what makes them special.