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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get really angry when dh points out some housework that needs doing

70 replies

roundededges · 31/08/2009 14:23

Today he asked me to empty the sink (having filled it up with roasting dishes, cooling racks etc, himself)- I don't know why but I just got really angry. Is it unreasonable to ask him not to constantly keep pointing out jobs that need doing, I have eyes and if he'd just get on with the stuff he needs to do I would get on with my stuff. Once, he left light bulbs blown in the toilet for about 7 weeks - we were "going" in the dark until eventually someone else changed them and showed me how to do it - they were quite fiddly or i'd have changed them myself. (I do all the others in the house).
. The other thing I think is if he feels it needs doing so badly, do it himself. I can't describe how angry it makes me. AIBU?

OP posts:
edam · 31/08/2009 14:24

No, of course you aren't!

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 31/08/2009 14:24

YANBU

He is quite capable of doing it himself.

next time he points it out to you say And?

fuzzywuzzy · 31/08/2009 14:37

Look brightly at him and say 'well off you go then' and leave him with the dishes before he has a chance to say anything else!

Seona1973 · 31/08/2009 14:38

I am not the worlds best housewife but even dh wouldnt point out the bits I haven't done. He never married me for my housewifely skills which is just as well(sometimes I wonder why he did marry me!!).

FlamingoBingo · 31/08/2009 14:39

YANBU! What a rude lazy fuck! If you see something that needs doing, then do it, don't ask someone else to do it!

I would just respond to 'please empty the sink' with 'no'.

cyteen · 31/08/2009 14:39

If he can see it, he can deal with it. YANBU.

MrsMerryHenry · 31/08/2009 14:40

YABU. Don't get pissed off, hit him!

Seriously, though, you guys need to sit down and talk about this. It's silly that he's treating you this way and that you're colluding with it by not challenging him. It wouldn't surprise me if you said communication (on areas of conflict) between the two of you was at best tricky.

grouchyoscar · 31/08/2009 14:49

YANBU at all. He can do it himself

DH, love him, will make me feel such a slattern when he mentions something wants doing. Thing is, if I do it, he doesn't notice/say thanks

Blokes huh

Oxymoronic · 31/08/2009 14:50

YANBU, he sounds a bit controlling, if it bothers him that much tell him to get on and do it himself!! You're not his employee!

Tortington · 31/08/2009 14:50

tell him to fuck off

dickhead

Jennylee · 31/08/2009 14:58

I hate that too, it basically guarantees that I won't touch the thing he has mentioned untill I really have to if at all as, like one of the posters said I do have eyes and he could just as easily do the task.

ErikaMaye · 31/08/2009 15:13

You're his wife, not the house keeper! If he thinks its that unsightly, point out where the cleaning things are and leave him to it! Arse.

RealityIsNOTDetoxing · 31/08/2009 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 31/08/2009 15:22

I say to DH that so and so needs doing but he is fine with it and does it as he knows I am doing other stuff and can't do everything.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/08/2009 15:26

I can't see the problem, really. Dh and I ask each other to do jobs all the time.
Was it the way he said it? If dh was angry because I said 'could you please empty the sink, love?', I would think him unreasonable.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/08/2009 15:28

Meant to say, if I was busy doing something else, or if I had cooked Sunday lunch, for example. Wouldn't ask if I was sitting on my arse reading the paper, obviously.

Sassybeast · 31/08/2009 15:33

So HE cooked lunch and you are pissed off cos he asked you to do the clearing up ? I feel sorry for the poor bloke tbh. Should he have done the washing up as well as cooking for m'lady ? Grounds for divorce I'd say - expecting everyone to pull their weight and all that. Shocking. YABU.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2009 15:36

has he lost the use of his hands?

Mumcentreplus · 31/08/2009 15:48

It's all about how you ask though surely?..you should both help equally...but it can really get on your tits when someone keeps pointing out things that need doing and act as though the fact they pointed them out negates them doing said task..

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/08/2009 15:49

Op did your dh cook lunch, then ask you to empty the sink? If so, yabu.
Cannot fathom why someone would be apoplectic with rage at being asked for a favour by their other half. Or am I reading this all wrong?

Mumcentreplus · 31/08/2009 15:54

Of course if he cooked you wash/clear..but the constant pointing out would piss me off still...

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 31/08/2009 16:00

Come on, if it was her saying 'I only asked DH to do one thing in the house and he went off on one' we'd be saying how unreasonable he was! I ask DH to do stuff often (doesn't always mean he does it) but then I do the lion's share so I feel I can.

But then he could be a controlling twat who micromanages everything - but we don't know that!

Mumcentreplus · 31/08/2009 16:12

Well maybe she does the Lions share and doesn't appreciate someone giving her little reminders?...

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/08/2009 16:17

Come back op we need more details!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 31/08/2009 16:23

Maybe she does (probably she does) but we are all assuming that without knowing aren't we!