AIBU to have gone home in a huff!

[chocolatefudgebrownie]

I am have just been over to my mum and dad's for lunch. My two judgmental aunts were there (they put mumsnet to shame!)

My ds (3.11) is out in the garden and was with my mum. I was with my dd and suddenly heard ds crying. My two judgemental aunts said 'oh just leave him!' 'charming' I thought!

I went to see if he was ok and found him sobbing his heart out saying my mum had smacked his bottom.

I asked mum who denied it at first and then said he had been taking the flower heads off her plants, so she smacked him.

I realise it was wrong of ds to do what he did, but I was absolutely fuming that she thought it was ok to take matters into her own hands and smack my ds. I do not agree with smacking and have made this clear to her on several occasions.

I feel so sad and upset about it and left their house in a huff, dragging my dc's crying with me. I am not sure if AIBU? It was just a smack, but it's the principle that I can't trust her now with ds when I am not about.

YANBU.
Up to you if you smack or not but although your parents or other relatives should feel able to tell child off they should never be able to smack.
The same sort of thing happened with my sister recently. She was at Mums at a family lunch where my uncle and his wife were. Her dcs were being 'difficult' my sister couldn't eat in peace my mum was getting annoyed at my sister and her dcs. So my sister got up half way through dinner strapped the dcs into the car and left!
Got my mum wondering what she'd done wrong and taught her a bit of a lesson about how to act.
Best thing to do is just get up and walk away rather than have a fight infront of dcs and the aunts.

ps Kimi- I think I see what you mean although not best expressed.
DHs friend ended up in prison as the person who he had a punch up with was asian and he got done for racially aggravated assault even though the fight was nowt to do with either of their colour. DH's friend had been best friends with another asian bloke who wouldn't testify in support of him not being a racist which was a bit sad I thought. And broke a perfectly good friendship too.

Chocolate - I think you did the best thing at the time, something in your gut said to leave it for now and I have done the same thing in the past. I don't consider it to be in a huff but the better longterm choice (my mom can get quite defensive and dad refuses to be wrong ever!)

Not sure I would leave DS with GPs until completely satisfied she wouldn't do it again.

But I would wait for her to come to me, as she knows your veiws and it's upto her to admit her actions were against that.

Good Luck

Chocolate.. you certainly need parental consent to smack a child and it is classed as commen asault if it leaves a mark.

I think the laws differ in different parts of the UK.

Perhaps someone with more info on the law will come along.

IMO it should be anyway..you did not give her consent to hit your child and she did..if she hit you it would be!

Anyway,it would let her no how serious you are about it.I'm sure you will want to repair your relationship and be left in no doubt that this will ever happen again.

I accept the gp's can tell ds off, if he's been naughty and they do so (frequently!) I thought I had been VERY clear on NO smacking. I hope that my walking out will send a clear message, that I mean what I say and they should respect that and my way of parenting ds.

I will await apology from my mum. If she is unrepentent then I will leave ds alone with her. As I'm not sure she is fully in control of her emotions and consequently her actions.

I get angry with ds, as he is very willful. However, I can remove myself or him from the situation until we both calm down and talk.

I feel my mum does send mixed messages to my ds, as she buys him lots of gifts and gives into his every wish then tells me she thinks he acts like a spoilt brat!

Sorry previous post should have read 'will NOT leave ds with them

Next time you go round, give her a good whack and say: that's for lying!
actually, got someone much bigger than her to hit her instead. Maybe an 18 stone rugby player.