To be sick of the Huge general chit chat threads on TTC board?

[Hell4Leather]

Probably, but it's really getting on my tits.

Its impossible to post a quick Q and get a response because it gets losts inbetween 'Sally Wallys silly billy TTC thread' and the 'join me if you've got a period due in the next 4 weeks' threads or that every is too busy to reply because they are already on one of the above.

Now, I appreciate that it is quite possible that the answers to many Q's may already be contained within these threads, but how is anyone supposed to find it with 800+ posts! I've never managed to make it past the first 3 pages of these threads because they usually start with etc etc Argghhhhhhhhhh!

I also appreciate how general chit chat and
camaraderie can be helpful when TTC, but does it have to take over the entire board? Is there a general chit chat section where this would be better suited?

It doesn't seem to happen on any of the other boards so why here?

could you put the key phrases in and do a search?

as a general rule of thumb if you find yourself on the ttc board you are beyond reason. so yes yabu but it is not your fault

EBC has it spot on

there's a reason I block them altogether even when ttc

(NB ebc who are you normally?)

Ha ha thanks ladies, i think you're probably right!

I see what you mean. But people feel a bond with others in the same situation. TTC is quite emotional, I think, and they like feeling close and nattering with others who are where they are (although I hope they chat everywhere else on mn too and don't keep themselves in their little group! )

Perhaps there is a case for having TTC Qs and TTC Chat? Maybe suggest that on Site Stuff?

Or maybe ask them to put their chat threads in general Chat and leave TTC for Qs only?

Not that you've got any right to demand that or anything, people can post where the hell they like but perhaps it would make things tidier?

personally i think yanbu

I have found the ttc boards to be fantastic with regards to the amount of knowledge there is to be found on there - I learnt about 50 times more about infertility and treatment etc on those boards than anything I every got from consultants etc.

In fact, it was so helpful that I could usually meet my consultant armed with info and opinions, so that I could make decisions or requests about my treament there and then, rather than sitting passively whilst they waffled on at me, just to have to go home to do my research before being able to make a choice about what to do next.

I shall do the same since I have now 'graduated' from ttc boards to miscarriage - I have already decided what drugs I want to prevent my next miscarriage if I get 'upwardly duffed' again!

Having said all that...(here it comes...)...yes it is a bit waffley, but I think a lot of those ladies develop a strong bond, and it is probably the only place they can go where people really know how they feel.

Although I don't post much, I'm so glad for the miscarriage boards - even just to read them...none of my (really loving and caring) friends and family have thought to ask me how I am coping recently, and I only miscarried 2 months ago so still occasionally have to blink back the tears.

It would be helpful if there could be some distinction between general chit chat between friends and threads about particular 'issues'.

YABU. It's easy to ignore the random stuff you're not interested. I've always got answers to my questions and been happy with that.

I think YAB a bit U - someone posted a thread about a specific question earlier, I saw it so I responded. Have you tried starting a thread asking for advice and actually been ignored?

I post on one of the annoying chit chat threads. After 2 years ttc and so far failure the support I get from others in the same boat is quite important.

there are long running chat threads in all areas of this site; it's what makes the MN community imo so YAB a tad U.

I can just imagine the furore if TTC etc chat was on the general chat thread though!

pmsl at eleanorbuntingcupcake

I've posted several questions on TTC and either been ignored or got one reply.

Am now avoiding the board, because I feel I'm not welcome in the club.

I do understand that people need the support and value it - but if you're not posting on the big threads the board isn't much use, so OP INBU to feel that way.

OP agree with you. I feel I have 'missed the boat' as all the threads are enormous and I feel like a gatecrasher. Plus I don't post that often.

YANBU but it's brave to point it out.

We could start our own low key TTC thread if you like? Call it 'TTC'.

YABU

TTC is an emotional business. I'm on the "mid-30s" thread where I've found some contemporaries who know what I'm going through. I need to talk about the day-to-day shit which accompanies TTC.

Which specific type of question is getting lost in the 100s of responses?

From what I see there are long threads for age groups/buses - the rest is just "ohmygod I had sex could I be pregnant?" - if you don't want it - don't read it. There are also plenty of threads for "need an egg donor in manchester" - never seen any of that type dissolve in to chat.

Of course I do realise I'm probably telling you stuff you just won't "get" if you fell pregnant first time/accidentally.

Some of the threads are like little clubs - but they're always welcoming. And sometimes its easier to get answers from people you've started to bond with through inane chit-chat. Also, you don't have to read all the posts and then formally introduce yourself/be accepted to ask a question. Just jump on, say you are new, and ask!!! As in RL, people often end up on the outside because they don't make the effort to get in.

As for feeling out of the loop because you feel ignored - it's hard to go through all the threads every time you log it. Sometimes it's easier to go to a familiar zone briefly. When I have time I go through the "last 15 minutes" at the very least, and post where I think I can help.

I can see what you are trying to say, but don't think the clear attacks on specific threads are necessary, OP. The buses allow people in the same situation to find buddies to go through TTC and then pregnancy and post-natal chat with. They're in for the long haul and glad of it. And for some, being a bit silly brings light relief when the struggles of TTC would otherwise leave them a sobbing mess.

why is it happening in TTC and not other threads? Because the other women already have their babies! They are able to get on with their lives as parents

Hope you find your answers. (offers a welcoming hug to stressed out, feeling left out, OP)

yanbu. i agree completely.