to be annoyed that "gingerism" remains a socially acceptable prejudice?

[greengecko]

Why is it that people who wouldn't dare to utter a racist or sexist remark don't hold back when it comes to insulting people on the basis of their genetically determined hair colour? My 2 month old DS was born with beautiful red hair. Comments from friends and family include:

MIL (at hospital on day of birth of her first grandchild): he can't possibly be a Miller (DP's family name) with hair that colour .
MIL (2 months later): Oh, look at all that ginger hair. He's going to get a lot of stick.
Sister (when asked, on meeting her nephew for first time, what she thought of him): well, he's very ginger.
BIL: Oh well, it will probably go darker as he gets older. If not he can always claim he's strawberry blonde.
Friend: Oh well, you can always dye it.

And the list goes on. AIBU to be pissed off at these comments from my otherwise tolerant and liberal family and friends? It's starting to get to me and I'm now worried that DS is going to be in for a horrible time of it when it comes to school etc. Just hope he's tough-skinned enough for it all to wash over him.

It just goes on and on dosen't it? Bar stewards!

I've had lots of people tell me I am very lucky my children are girls and not boys.

Firstly, how do they know I haven't a boy at home?

Secondly, fuck off.

I don't go up to a mixed race couple and say, 'oh isn't s/he lucky to have taken after the black/white one'

I don't go up to a large/small couple and say 'Oh aren't you lucky s/he didn't take after the large/skinny one'

I don't go up to a blonde/brown haired couple and say 'oh aren't you lucky s/he didn't take after the brown/blonde one'

I don't go up to anyone, or say anything, because I have manners.

So you are not being unreasonable.

It is not ok to say these things. It is really really really not ok to ask or assume that a person has a temper - or any other trait - based on their hair. As we do not assume brown haired people are temper-less and non responsive to stimuli, why do this?

WHHHHHHHHY?

P.S. not only would I never say the 3 examples above - I never think them either!! Wouldn't like you to think I was giving away my prejudices by stealth!

Newspaper - well said. It really is as bad as going up to a mixed race couple and saying how lucky to have taken after one or the other. I wish this discrimination was taken more seriously. It is discrimination of the vilest kind.

I thought anti-gingerism was well out of date, shocked to hear people are still making such horrible remarks!

What's that very young model's name, she's a redhead and used to get teased at school for being ginger, lanky and plain. I think she was still at school when she got signed up (by Topshop I think, initially). I bet that bloody showed them.

I think red heads have amazing colouring. When I see redheads, especially the real bright carrot hair and the amazing contrast of the pale skin - I actually find myself staring I think it's so uniquely beautiful. Especially kids - I just find it enchanting.

I would love to have red hair, unfortunately have to settle for reddish brown.

You have every right to be annoyed, but maybe do yourself a favour and change your response to one of surprise.

I remember some years ago a very young work collegue of mine came into the office on Monday morning raving about a gorgeous new bloke she'd met over the weekend. Apparently he was not a candidate for a long relationship cos he had ginger hair and she could absolutely not envisage having ginger haired children . My 2 year old GD has the most beautiful ginger hair but because it runs in our families we are used to it. Be ginger,be proud .

LuckyLady74, I HATE that ad on Living. Makes me cringe.

Whethergirl, is it Lily Cole you're thinking of? She is so pretty.

We were sitting in a barbers once, waiting for my very ginger 6 year old to have his hair cut. There was a bloke getting his hair cut before us, and he was going on about how he has to bleach his hair every other week because he is a natural ginger. Both him and the hairdresser were joking on about how girls he pulled were in for a shock when they saw his ginger pubes . I got up and walked out, I was so p'eed off about it. My son was proberbly listening to them as well. I really don't want him to get any hang ups abut his hair.

Ooh I hate gingerism. My husband is ginger and we also get the "aren't you lucky he's not ginger" comments about our son. And now I'm pregnant again, we've had lots of "what will you do if this one's ginger?" 'jokes'.

I'm blonde, as is our son, and some people have even said: "Where does he get his blond hair from?". Er, from me.

Btw, I do find blonde jokes offensive. I absolutely hate, hate, hate when people say they're having a "blonde moment" when they've done something stupid.

YANBU at all!

My DH is ginger and gorgeous. There is also a lot of it in my family so I really hope our DCs will also be red. Sadly, becuase of teasing when he was at school, DH would rather they weren't It has taken me an awfully long time to convince him that he is good looking INCLUDING his beautiful hair and not in spite of it.

When my cousin was a baby my aunt was approached by a stranger in the street, who said, "oh what a shame about her hair, never mind, it might darken as she gets older" How fucking rude can you get???

I will give anyone a bollocking if they ever make comments to me, that's for sure.

I have red hair and my dd (pics on profile) is also a red head and proud.

I was teased as a child, although not to the point where I was really upset about it - but I wanted a different colour and my mum kept on saying to me 'when you are older you will appreciate your hair'. How right she was - I've never had anything other than positive comments about it as an adult.

DD will probably be teased, but she is a bolshy little thing so hopefully will be able to deal with it.

Overall, I see it as a def asset.

5inthebed, yes it's Lily Cole I was thinking of. There are loads of very striking ginger models actually, so it's daft to say it's not attractive if ginger folks have made a living out of their looks.

verytiredmummy - I must admit I've made blonde jokes before. But I think it's because deep down I'm jealous that blondes get more attention so like to have a dig! If anything, as a brunette, I feel like I'm the one that's worse off. Brunettes are not as noticeable as blondes and redheads and every grey hair I get stands out a mile so have to keep dyeing it.

So never mind redheads, what about us poor brunettes??!

YANBU

Redheads are very attractive in my opinion. People's prejudices are not attractive.

Hi fairladyrantalot -- my DCs went to a parish school in the US so they wore uniforms. I wondered if the lack of ginger teasing there was because the ethnic groups represented are known for red hair (German, Irish, Italian = catholic a lot of the time in the US) so there were ususlly quite a few of them in any given class. Then there's also the general pc-ness of the US which makes it an incredibly boring and seemingly humourless place, so earnest and anxious not to offend...

It is wrong and it is awful.

I don't actually get it though. It's just a different, colour hair. But then I don't get racism either, it's just a different colour skin....

I looooove red hair, I have serious ginger envy. Especially like Satine in Moulin Rouge. Anyone who makes such wierd comments is a bit odd imo.

My dd1 has beautiful auburn colouring to her hair which people comment on all the time. Dd2 also has a similar colouring so I'm hoping that they end up with the same. Dh and I are both dark brown but it runs in my family. And they both have my Dh's brown eyes, which makes it stand out even more.

There are three brothers who go to my church all have varying degrees of red - eldest strawberry blond, middle's hair is a little darker and the youngest has such a beautiful head of dark red hair - its stunning.

My dd1 (4) said she wanted yellow hair a while back like her three friends - I hopes he doesn't make that decision when she is older! There seem to be more and more children where I live who have red hair - its lovely to see.

It's rife! My son (21) has faced constant abuse for having ginger hair. Latest episode was only last week. i was with him and 3 youths aged in their early 20's shouted "You're a ginger wanker" at him - with me there - I was astounded but he says it happens all the time.

He's now considerng dying his hair [Sad]!

YANBU!

bet he's a gorgeous little boy and red hair will only make him more gorgeous!!

i have ALWAYS wanted to be ginger

milk x

YANBU.

Apparently to mind about this sort of thing is to lack a sense of humour, but it makes me sick.

Anti-gingerism is totally unacceptable prejudice.

I'll always remember when a girl in our office brought her baby in to show off to us all a few weeks after he was born. When her son was born, our colleague imparted all the usual details to us about him - date and time of birth, weight, name, birth story etc. She didn't mention the colour of his hair and no one enquired. She doesn't have red hair herself so there had been no need for the inevitable "let's hope it doesn't turn out to be ginger" comments during her pregnancy, which would no doubt have cropped up had she had red hair herself.

On the day she brought the baby in, everyone gathered expecantly around her and the little carry chair, cooing and ooohing (as you do). He was wearing a little cotton hat and when she removed it for us all to get a better look at him there was an almost audible gasp from most people - it was almost as though the hat had been removed to reveal two heads rather than one that just happened to be covered in red hair! Then they proceeded to trot out all the ridiculous sterotypes that are peddled about red-haired people like "oohhh I bet he's got a right little temper on him! The some were saying "aww never mind, bless him"!

It was cringeworthy and horible. I'm sure they didn't mean to be nasty but it just goes to show how deep this hideous anti-gingerism still runs in society. Our colleague didn't say anything but it was pretty clear she wasn't really very comfortable with it and she was almost apologising for it at one stage explaining that her husband has red headed people in his family. It was embarrassing and I felt for her.

i have a ging thing

i love a bit of ging - eric stoltz for example is gorg.

im married to a ging