to be annoyed that "gingerism" remains a socially acceptable prejudice?

[greengecko]

Why is it that people who wouldn't dare to utter a racist or sexist remark don't hold back when it comes to insulting people on the basis of their genetically determined hair colour? My 2 month old DS was born with beautiful red hair. Comments from friends and family include:

MIL (at hospital on day of birth of her first grandchild): he can't possibly be a Miller (DP's family name) with hair that colour .
MIL (2 months later): Oh, look at all that ginger hair. He's going to get a lot of stick.
Sister (when asked, on meeting her nephew for first time, what she thought of him): well, he's very ginger.
BIL: Oh well, it will probably go darker as he gets older. If not he can always claim he's strawberry blonde.
Friend: Oh well, you can always dye it.

And the list goes on. AIBU to be pissed off at these comments from my otherwise tolerant and liberal family and friends? It's starting to get to me and I'm now worried that DS is going to be in for a horrible time of it when it comes to school etc. Just hope he's tough-skinned enough for it all to wash over him.

My daughter has red hair, and reading that article has made me realise that i need to teach her to stand up for herself and confront blatant prejudice where she finds it. It's completely illogical that otherwise perfectly rational people still feel they have a 'right' to bully and harrass redheads. Right. Enough is enough.

I think YANBU & it's awful that people think it's ok to make comments like that about you baby.
I was sometimes called 'ginge' by teachers at school, who no doubt thought they weren't doing any harm, but it used to embarrass me. And I once remember having to put up with the unwelcome attentions of a drunk man on a bus who kept shouting, 'Oi ginge, wanna go out with me?' but other than that I got off relatively lightly. I know my mum thought it was beautiful, she wanted to enter me in the Miss Pears competition (god, that's going back years)

I love my hair colour (unfortunately fading now I'm over 40)& never coloured it until recently, but that's just to keep it near it's natural shade, not to hide it. But I'm more auburn, I've got brown eyes & don't have the ginger brows and lashes.
I think red hair of every shade is beautiful. Those children in the link are so striking to look & I would have loved it if my DS had been a redhead. But I do think it's harder for boys. Though if they grow up looking like Damien Lewis I doubt they'd feel too bad.

Naw - yanbu at all - but I confess I'm guilty of joking about it myself (and therefore am not sensitive to gingerism)

DH is a sort of sandy colour. MIL and SIL both strawberry. There was an on-going joke whilst I was pregant with DS that he might be born ginger. (mainly because chances were slim as I'm mixed race and have quite dark colouring - we thought that would be dominant)

Well, he was born ginger. Bright ginger. We didnt know for a few days (he was v. ill at birth and they didnt wash his head to prevent further trauma so couldnt tell).

It was lovely, all soft and carroty coloured. I was very proud of it. And v. disappointed when it all fell out. He's now blond with ginger streaks which you can only see in bright sunlight.

I'm looking forward to seeing what nature will bring us with DS2 - maybe he'll be born a brunette and go ginge - that would be fab!

As I've said before, my dd has long red hair, freckles, glasses, a posh accent and a last name that, with the change of one letter can be made into a rude word! She's been teased about all of them except the glasses, but never bullied and the teasing about her hair has been completely counterbalanced by the number of people who comment on how lovely it is.

I have let her wear mascara from quite early though, or her eyes disappear because she has transparent lashes.

people comment on dd2's hair all the time.
'its such a shame but at least she has nice hair'

It's definitely an English thing as I see it, certainly in North America there isn't as much of a negative connotation - in fact the term 'ginger' there only refers to the spice. Personally I think red hair is absolutely gorgeous, particularly the really coppery shades. Although my DH is blond my first BF was a redhead with cute freckles .
I do think life with red hair is more difficult for boys rather than girls, not sure why - correct me if I'm wrong. Of course they can crop it very short but that's a shame, can't blame them though if they're being pestered constantly.

[On a related note a (male) friend of mine had the most beautiful silver hair - he went grey in his early 20s - wore it fairly longish and wavy. With his young face it made a striking contrast and looked stunning. Until the day he was mugged from behind at a train station . He is convinced it was due to the hair, they thought he was an old bloke, and has now cropped it terribly short.]

Seeker - eyelash dye is the answer!

Oh my Christ Tim Minchin's hot.

Ohhhhh my Lord

I have red hair and agree mascara is a revelation

My ds2 and dd1 both have ginger hair. I've had lots of comments in the past - my favourite is "At least girls can get away with red hair" followed by a oh your poor boy look at ds2!

Neither dh or I have red hair, but my mum did before going grey.

Ds2 hates his hair and freckles and pale skin - he's 9 and I can only see this getting worse. He probably hates his freckles more than his hair actually. Someone at pre-school asked him if his hair would turn normal?! Needless to say his dislike of his hair started early.

Dd1 doesn't mention her hair so I assume she's fine with it.

I think their hair is fab. I love the fact they're easy to spot in a crowd.

colditz, he is mine....

I'd love to have red hair.. sadly my natural hair colour is a horrible mousy colour

i think ds is going auburn

Gillian Anderson.
Judi Trott.
Kim Thomson.

All ginger hotties.

I'm going to see him in October (Tim Minchin that is). He is rather lovely and a very talented piano player.

DS1 + DS2 have gorgeous ginger hair like DH. DS3 had dark hair like me. When people comment how he was "lucky", I simply reply that if he feels left out when he is older, he can always dye it red

Really annoys me when I hear negative comments about red heads.

Why has no one mentioned Damian Lewis yet?! He is gorgeous...

I was about to mention him

I wont leave the house without mascara either!

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och, YANBU...must be upsetting to hear such bullshit all the time...fwiw...I think Ginger Hair is beautyful, and I used to go out with a "ginger" lad and he was very handsome
And I just saw Rick Astley life and well...he is well handsome...and he has got red hair....
Try to not let those stupid comments bother you....

My DH and I are have both got dark brown hair and have produced 2 red head children, DS(8) and DD (6).

People make comments all the time, mainly complete strangers making randown comments from "ooh isn't that unusual hair colour" or "where do they get that colour from?" - to which I sometimes reply "their Dad" when I'm in the mood.

To the OP, YANBU to be peed off, your family should know better.

My grandmother's hair was a rich deep auburn. I always loved it, she wore it very long and tied up with pins on her head in a sort of whirly thing.

I remember the AWE when I went into her room one night, and saw it down and long with her in her nightie.

Sadly I missed the gene, mine only has hints...but two of my great grandfathers had red hair, and ds2's father was very sandy with freckles and pale lashes - his eyes totally vanished when he grinned!

Ds2 blond atm. We'll see. I think yanbu, OP, it is painful to hear those comments even from a stranger's erspective. They need to get a grip and stop pandering to the current cruel trend.

UQD - Karen Gillan?

Might raise the coolness factor for redheads a bit.

And of course David Tennant's Doctor wanted to be ginger...

Anyone who ever says anything nasty about red/aubern/strawberry blonde hair only do so because they are extremely jealous. It is the strongest hair colour and is the last to go grey..and FWIW you need 'red' genes from both parents for your child to have red hair.....

DS2 started hating his red hair between the ages of 2 and 3, when he became aware of the comments people were making about it. They were actually positive - things like 'what lovely hair,' but I think even that can make a child feel self-conscious; if it's worth commenting on, it must be wierd.
And one person in particular always said it (whose DCs happen to have gleaming white hair - don't think she'd swap in a hurry), which again compounded the sense of wierdness.
Okay, it's not nearly as bad as making disparaging comments, but a child doesn't need to be made to feel conscious of his appearance at such a young age.