to be annoyed that "gingerism" remains a socially acceptable prejudice?

[greengecko]

Why is it that people who wouldn't dare to utter a racist or sexist remark don't hold back when it comes to insulting people on the basis of their genetically determined hair colour? My 2 month old DS was born with beautiful red hair. Comments from friends and family include:

MIL (at hospital on day of birth of her first grandchild): he can't possibly be a Miller (DP's family name) with hair that colour .
MIL (2 months later): Oh, look at all that ginger hair. He's going to get a lot of stick.
Sister (when asked, on meeting her nephew for first time, what she thought of him): well, he's very ginger.
BIL: Oh well, it will probably go darker as he gets older. If not he can always claim he's strawberry blonde.
Friend: Oh well, you can always dye it.

And the list goes on. AIBU to be pissed off at these comments from my otherwise tolerant and liberal family and friends? It's starting to get to me and I'm now worried that DS is going to be in for a horrible time of it when it comes to school etc. Just hope he's tough-skinned enough for it all to wash over him.

Ignore them and enjoy your son

I haven't read the whole thread so probably am bumbling into this. But.

I love red hair, and have said so in the past.

But I wouldn't compare that to saying "gosh, I love black people!"

Or somesuch.

Would you?

there needs to be red hair on both the mother and father's side for a child to have red/ginger hair - so any inlaw saying it doesn't come from them is talking bollocks.

My dp is ginger, and the worse case of gingerism iv'e seen is when he was pushing ds in pushchair across zebra crossing when a car full of chavs pulled up and started shouting abuse at him for merely being ginger!

I do find ginger jokes funny but not in a malicious way. For example, DH has a ginger beard (no ginger head hair though) but a few weeks ago he went to open his locker and on the front of it was a 'RED BUSH' sticker (you know, the Tetley tea bag variety). Well, that really got him annoyed. The culprit owned up to it but said one of his other colleagues had 'forced' him to do it

I did find it funny but also did appreciate that DH is fed up of all these jokes about his beard.

YANBU. I think when people are very negative about 'ginger' then it's not funny at all, but to talk about it in a light-hearted manner isn't so bad. It's like making jokes about those who wear glasses, or those who have nose piercings etc.

Teachers were terrible with the gingerism comments/taunts when I was at school. I will never ever forget one teacher telling me when I was about 13 or so(in front of a whole class) that "you do realise that you will find it difficult to get a boyfriend - boys generally dont like girls with ginger hair". Absolute moron!

gingerism

lovechoc...my dh, when he has a beard, also has the ginger kind and well....am I glad that he has decided to get rid off it....not because it was ginger, mostly because it was a beard that didn't suit him...but, lol...should he ever grow it again, I will do something with red bush tea ...
tbh, the ginger jokes are no worse than the blonde ones, aren't they...if anything, at least gingers are not portrayed as totally dumb....but tbh. jokes one just shouldn't TAKE SERIOUS...oops caps....

well that's it, if it's not malicious then it's just like making a jokey comment about having blonde hair, or having freckles, or having a crooked nose etc.

Sometimes it really can be nasty - not just jokey.

i love red hair so striking and attractive. congratulations on your beautiful red headed boy

it shame folk tease it is unkind

loveschoc...but op is not on about silly jokes, but dumb comments here dc is getting...I think that is the difference...iykwim

yes, I'm aware people can be nasty about DC with ginger hair...but I can also see the other side of it in that many people in general don't say these comments in malice. It's easy to get defensive about things in life.

the other thing to note is that those who feel the need to make judgement on the ginger hair are obviously jealous they weren't blessed with the same colour of hair themselves. feelings of inadequacy perhaps? Not quite happy with their lot...

i think to a certain extent people cope with dumbass ginger jokes

the insidious and unkind comments are worse
"hmmmm, who's is he/she then"
"eugh it is very red"
"maybe no one will notice"

I wond3r if it varies where you live?

Gingerism was rife at home, my Mum has beautiful red hair (maiden name means red head in fact) and was picked on ruthlessly as a child: however here in Wales it's not even mentioned, and loads of red haired kids in DS2's class: indeed DS2 goes a lovely light red in the summer sun. Grandad (also still red and he's 90 next year) loves seeing the gene in ds2, but takes the piss out of me for dying mine red LOL

Oh and PMSL at blokes dont ike ginger hair

My Mum spent the 60's with red curls to her waist, petite size 8 wearing lime key hole dresses...... she had NO trouble getting blokes at all!

I visited my friend in hospital yesterday, who had just had a baby the day before (gorgeous boy with loads of black hair). Her two younger brothers have red hair, and her FIL kept on saying "thank god he hasn't got red hair, I'd have disowned him". Now joking aside, you just don't say that to a new mum about her brand new, and first, baby. You wouldn't say that about a baby having blonde hair.

that is very true...

My dad told me when i was growing up that girls with red hair and freckles are the prettiest, i have neither (envy)!!!!

however although i accept some people can be nasty making inappropriate comments, the majority of people are just joking in the same way me and my sister tease each other about the size of our backsides.

try not to worry about people say, enjoy your new baby and congratulations.

As the mother of a red head YANBU!! No idea where dd gets her redhead gene from on my side though, I can't think of anyone in my family who's redheaded!

It was slightly embarrassing when she was sat on my (male, Ginger) best friend's lap at a wedding recently and people were staring and muttering and glancing anxiously at my brunette dh!!

lol TAFK

ooh, YANBU - it's really not on! DH is a lovely strawberry blonde and covered in freckles (so yummy!). I'm execpting DC1 and have been asked by an otherwise sane friend "are you worried it'll be a ginger?" err, rather obviously I think it's a lovely look or why would I be married to a man with that colouring?

YANBU, but there are many others ie. prejeudice against short people and fat people who also seem to be fair game to the eejits. Went out recently with an morbidly obese friend and was genuinely shocked at the nasty comments people felt justified in shouting at her. People can be utter shits, and the culprits are often young men who look like the back-end of a bus. I am not a natural ginger myself (I dye my hair and am a faux-ginge), but still get random comments from drunks in town on a Saturday night. Find it really odd. Also get called short-arse a fair bit due to being 5"2