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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my friend?..

17 replies

Binkster · 17/08/2009 09:37

We have friends coming to visit next weekend. Originally they were going to stay for just one night, but now they are coming for the whole weekend (Friday-Sunday)- I was really pleased about this as we don?t see them very often.

Anyway, they casually mentioned to me over the weekend that they plan to go out on Saturday to see other friends in the area, leaving me by myself (hubbie is working). AIBU to feel as though we?re being treated like a hotel and that this is a little bit thoughtless?? I don?t think I?d have minded if they?d asked to stay the extra night and told us at the time that it was so they could visit other friends, but I just feel a bit used (and I also have other things I could do on a Saturday morning, other than waiting for them to come back from wherever they are!)

OP posts:
girlafraid · 17/08/2009 09:51

YANBU, that's rude

skybright · 17/08/2009 09:54

If they know other people in the area and it is just for a small part of saturday then i don't think i would be annoyed,however if they are going to spend all of sat day and evening then come back to yours to sleep i would be mad.

Don't wait in for them on saturday morning just tell them what time you will be back.

landrover · 19/08/2009 18:53

absolutely rude

Chunkamatic · 19/08/2009 18:56

They should have let you know earlier, or arranged to do something that you could all take part in. I would be annoyed if I were you.

However, I can see that if they are coming a long way this might make good sense to them. I'm sure they haven't intended to upset you, perhaps they are just trying to be practical.

GypsyMoth · 19/08/2009 19:08

they should stat one night at the other friends house then. you are being used and they are being rude!!

Overmydeadbody · 19/08/2009 19:12

If I had friends to stay for the weekend I would be positively delighted if they went out on saturday to visit someone else, leaving me in peace.

I cannot stand to be with the same people for more than 24 hours without some kind of break in it, some me time.

yada · 19/08/2009 19:16

try and take it as a compliment that they feel more secure treting you like a hotel, you must be the better friend

rubyslippers · 19/08/2009 19:17

give them a spare set of keys and do whatever you need to do

this wouldn't bother me in the slightest TBH

if you don't see them very often, then maybe they don't see the friends they are going to visit often either?

you still have staurday night and sunday to spend with thm

forehead · 19/08/2009 20:28

I would be glad if my guest disappeared for the day tbh. I would only be pissed off if they came back from the visit and expected me to cook for them.

Original poster
Binkster · 19/08/2009 22:19

Thanks for the opinions, seem to be a bit mixed! Apparently they're going out in the morning and will be back around 2 ish (after having lunch with the other friends). I see them more at their house, but they haven't been here in over a year. I have got us tickets for a country fair for the day, so presumably we'll just go when they get back.....

Liking the idea of going out for the morning, unfortunately can't leave them a key as hubby is working nights over the weekend and will be asleep when they get back, so I don't want the kiddies to wake him up. Feel like we're being treated like a hotel a bit, but maybe I'll just do my own thing in the morning and they can fit in around me!

OP posts:
ClaudiaSchiffer · 19/08/2009 23:12

It wouldn't really bother me tbh. I'm with forehead, ruby and omdb. Arrange to meet them at the fair in the afternoon and enjoy some peace in the morning to get on with your own thing.

But then I like being grumpy quiet in the mornings and need a bit of space to drink tea/read the paper etc in peace.

themoon66 · 19/08/2009 23:20

YANBU due to the country fair tickets having been purchased. If they are having lunch out, then you are looking at a possible return time of 3pm... much too late to go to fair.

MissSunny · 19/08/2009 23:54

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Binkster · 20/08/2009 00:08

Thanks for the opinions (although I think 'childish' is rather harsh). They arrive on Friday night, are disappearing for much of Saturday (including lunch when, silly me, I thought we might be doing something together) even though I've acquired tickets to do something (fortunately free ones, so at least I've not wasted any money) and going sometime on Sunday.

Personally, I wouldn't do this. We have friends that we visit a lot- I couldn't imagine going to stay as their guests and then disappearing for half the time we were there. I would arrange a lunch for everyone to meet up together, but then maybe I have better manners.

OP posts:
StayFrostyDMisaVileRag · 20/08/2009 00:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Binkster · 20/08/2009 00:57

Yes, I think that reading both sides has helped me to clarify my own opinion! I shall go by myself and try to avoid feeling any more huffy than I already do!

OP posts:
OrangeFish · 20/08/2009 01:08

I would just hand them the keys, give them a map if necessary and tell them if they want to bring something for dinner, they can find the supermarket in xy or z.

And do as you would do if they were not there. Then, if they are polite enough, they will invite you and your hubbie for dinner to pay back for the trouble (doing anything least than that is RUDE)

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