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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hate it when parents 'hold' little girls when they need an emergency wee?

108 replies

cheekster · 14/08/2009 21:14

I know emergencies happen, but it just looks awful.

Saw this happen today in a shop doorway

OP posts:
Ninks · 14/08/2009 21:42

I can understand the holding even though I didn't have to do it with DD. I left it "far too late" for such a verbal child you know

There was one occasion though when I was in Waitrose Asda and my Dad panicked when DD said she needed to go, (she didn't, she could have waited) outside the shop. He furtively bundled her into an alcove behind the trolleys and pulled her knickers down looking both terrified and arrogant, therefore outrageously dodgy!

I don't think he has ever really forgiven me for collapsing on the floor laughing at how uncomfortable he was, and not being able to get my words out rightly when we were approached by security.

cheekster · 14/08/2009 21:49

I just cant understand why you would want to display your dc's genitals in public thats all. Ok, maybe you dont want to display, but personally I would try to avoid it at all lengths. Both boys and girls.

Totally fine by me if its in a field/ undergrowth where no one can see. And no Im not prudish, just think we should protect our children - IYKWIM.

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 14/08/2009 21:51

Don't understanding the holding part but the doorway is not cool...

Women can pee standing you have to do some special 3 finger assist thingy

lockets · 14/08/2009 21:51

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OldDoe · 14/08/2009 21:52

Protect them?

Cheekster, YABU and talking crap.

OldDoe · 14/08/2009 21:54

I always get this helicopter thing going on when I'm doing an emergency pee and it seems to be more prevalent when I'm wearing suede shoes!

AitchTwoOh · 14/08/2009 21:56

how were they displayed to anyone other than the poor unfortunate who had just opened the shop door? she must have been facing away from you, by definition.

herbietea · 14/08/2009 21:57

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theyoungvisiter · 14/08/2009 21:57

protect them? What, from the marauding pervs who inhabit every street doorway?

Oh for heaven's sakes, it really is Daily Mail night on MN.

slowreadingprogress · 14/08/2009 21:59

cheekster old bean, I think you may be over-thinking this one

PMSL ninks at your dad's suspicious behaviour!!! that is so funny.

hester · 14/08/2009 22:00

None of us WANT to help our dds wee in public, cheekster. It's what happens when you're caught short between toilets, because you forgot to plan ahead, or the shopping dragged on and on, or your dd threw a massive tantrum when you tried to get her to wee before you left the house, etc etc.

You're feeling harried, flushed, self-conscious and trying not to get wee on your shoes. You feel all the passing shoppers are thinking, "yick" and "what a crap mother. Why didn't she get her dd to wee before she left the house?"

The very last thing on your mind is the one in a million chance that a paedophile is walking past and lasciviously checking out your dd's naked bottom. Trust me on this.

Mumcentreplus · 14/08/2009 22:02

protect?...ok...v.weird..you can't actually see the genitals love...

A portable potty isn't a bad thing I had one that folds flat they are used with special little plastic bags you could tie and throw away.

RumourOfAHurricane · 14/08/2009 22:08

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BettyTurnip · 14/08/2009 22:09

I had to hold dd1 to wee (age 4.11) in a park the other day (she is notorious for leaving it to the last minute to announce that she is in need). We were sort of crouched awkwardly behind the buggy trying to hide it a bit, not ideal, but the alternative was having to pack up the picnic stuff and blanket, load the buggy, grab dd1 and dd2 (who would've kicked up a storm as she was happily getting stuck in to her grub) and leg it to the nearest toilet which I actually didn't have a clue how to find as it was a park we hadn't visited before.

If someone is genuinely affronted at a small child having a wee in public then I suggest they need to loosen up somewhat.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 14/08/2009 22:10

mumcentre - 3 finger assist for emergency peeing?

more detail required!

cheekster · 14/08/2009 22:11

Oh, I very much assure you that I got a full view of this little girls genitals - poor girl. Hope she doesnt remember this when she grows up!

OP posts:
clayre · 14/08/2009 22:11

i tried it once when dd was about 2 and i ended up covered in her pee, that was the end of out door peeing for her

thesecondcoming · 14/08/2009 22:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 14/08/2009 22:17

mental. you are utterly mental. i hope i don't remember you by tomorrow morning, tbh.

cheekster · 14/08/2009 22:20

aitchtwooh

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 14/08/2009 22:21

cheekster.

Stayingsunnygirl · 14/08/2009 22:22

I haven't got daughters, but if I did have, I guess I would have had to tackle this situation at some point. Having had three boys, it is far easier, because they (or you) can point their willy so as not to wee all over their shoes.

I can understand your objection to the shop doorway (though, as others have said, desperate times do sometimes call for desperate measures), and I do agree with you that it was not good for the little girl's genitals to be so visible (though again, I don't know all the circumstances, so it may have been the only option). All that said, in an emergency, you do what you have to do in order to prevent your child from wetting themselves - something that they could equally well remember and be embarrassed by.

I do remember dh coming home with the boys after a day in London, and telling me that ds1, who was fairly recently potty trained but pretty reliable, had suddenly announced on the underground that he needed a wee NOW - there was no way he was going to last 'til the next station, let alone until dh got them all off the train and them and the buggy up the stairs to the nearest loo, so he grabbed one of ds2's nappies out of the bag, whipped ds1's trousers down, put the nappy in position, hauled the trousers back up and let ds1 do what he needed to do. It may have raised the odd eyebrow - but was surely less offensive than ds1 wetting himself all over the train.

I also remember trying to wee al fresco when I was a small girl, and all I ever achieved was a wet leg and a welly full of wee!

Woooozle100 · 14/08/2009 22:27

I really misunderstood this post from the title. I thought you meant 'hold' them in an attempt to 'hold in the wee' Er like what you used to do yrself as a kid when you were too busy playing

Was going to say to that yanbu. Could cause a water infection that

However, holding as in facilitating a much needed wee.. That's what you need to do innit? Preferably not in the doorway tho

pooka · 14/08/2009 22:29

FGS! YABVVVVU.

DD is 6 and when caught short in a field or somewhere (or more recently a lay-by on the A303) she is still held up when she pees to a) negate the need to completely remove all her clothes on lower body (surely way more of an issue in "protecting" from marauding paedophiles) and b) stop her peeing on her feet.

Are you seriously suggesting that we should carry potties for our daughters to use for at least 6 years?? Her bum wouldn't fit on a potty as far as I can see.

You are bonkers.

4andnotout · 14/08/2009 22:32

YABVU
My dd's sometimes get caught short on country walk and i have no qualms of holding them in the air to be piddle, infact dd2 relishes having the air whip around her mary!