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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that you should at least hoover before having a kids party?

110 replies

allaboutme · 13/08/2009 16:47

I'm probably being a middle class snob, but have just taken DCs to a birthday party at a boy from school's house.

The cream carpet was black with dogs hairs. There was dog hair in the party food.
There was a washing bin overflowing with dirty underwear all on the floor in the bathroom.
At one point my DS dropped his dummy and it was so dirty when I picked it up, I stuck it straight in my bag!

On top of that there were only fizzy drinks on offer - i had to ask for something non fizzy

and the house stank of smoke. Birthday boys Mum nipped out for a fag a couple of times during the 2 hour party.

AIBU to think they could have at least hoovered or tidied a little bit before inviting 15 kids and their parents round???

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 13/08/2009 17:17

"On top of that there were only fizzy drinks on offer" Snob
"a washing bin overflowing" Snob

No, no one wants dog hair everywhere but those other comments mark you as a snob in my book. My washing bin is never empty and the SmallDragons shed stuff in much the same manner as the cats shed hair.

It's the tone of the OP that screams SNOB! more than anything.

Servalan · 13/08/2009 17:21

Dog hairs in the food? Eeeewww!!!

That is pretty vile, let's be honest.

BTW I speak as a total slattern - my house is very messy indeed, but that's a step too far, even for me!!

lilysam · 13/08/2009 17:21

Not unreasonablt at all. I know people like that and it made my skin crawl when i went toa party and didn'tput my baby down for 2 second.

Being ill is totally different. Live how you want also but i think there should be a bit of effort when you have young children coming round to eat etc..

Mess is one thing, dirt is completely different! Nothing at all to do with class.

Greensleeves · 13/08/2009 17:22

I would clean before a kids party

I will be doing so next week

if I can';t getthrough the piles of grotty washing by then they will be stashed in the guest room until the party is over

and the floors will be clean, food will be good etc

but the OP makes me feel somewhat panicky that if one of my lovely friends offers to come round and see me/bring me cake because I am feeling rotten I can't let them, I have to say no, because my house is offensive

am so glad to hear people saying "snob"

Sn0wflake · 13/08/2009 17:22

I'm not talking about if you are ill.... the people holding the party were not ill. I understand that sometimes things slide... but I would have thought that most people would agree that if you have young children it's important to keep it hygienic when you can.

When I was growing up we had some friends down the road who had come from the landed gentry and fallen a great way - the dog had shit under the kitchen table and the mother just put saw dust over it. It was there for days. Don't think it's anything about snobbery.

Original poster

allaboutme · 13/08/2009 17:22

is your washing bin in full view of all guests with overflowing pants though?

and do 3 year olds usually drink fizzy drinks? i thought they were for older kids really.. was just surprised at there being nothing other than fizzy for 3 year olds and younger...

OP posts:

poopscoop · 13/08/2009 17:22

OP - did your DC enjoys themselves? Yes? Thats good then, because that was the whole idea of the party if you had forgotten

DailyMailCanLickMyBalls · 13/08/2009 17:25

My washbasket tries to overflow, but I just stamp it down so vigorously that the poor pants don't have a hope of escaping. Ever. I'm happy for people to see it full, but if there was skanky used underwear on the floor, I would imagine others would see me as a filthy slattern, and they'd be right.

I can see why people think you're being a bit snotty, but I'd be grossed out myself if I were to go to someone's party and it looked as you describe (and god, you should see me and what chaos and filth I am currently sat in). Dog hair bits are not nice, and it does make you question what else might be going on there.

Original poster

allaboutme · 13/08/2009 17:25

also if a friend of mine was ill and was in a big mess when i dropped round with cake then i would do what i could to help her!
i know the ill and struggling to keep on top of things feeling

so even if i am a big fat SNOB about messy kids parties, i wouldnt be a snob about messy ill friends house (hope that puts your mind at rest )

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/08/2009 17:29

Dog hair in the food is vile, there is no excuse for that.

LynetteScavo · 13/08/2009 17:31

Maybe they had tidies up...maybe they had wiped blood off the walls and hidden the syringes.

sarah293 · 13/08/2009 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 13/08/2009 17:33

A friend popped round this morning and she commented on how tidy the house was. I laughed and confessed that I'd swept the entire contents of the hall floor into the playroom and the stuff in the kitchen that was visible from the hall had all been swept into a pile in the middle where you couldn't see it from where she was Some friends I would not have confessed this to.

[classy]

Greensleeves · 13/08/2009 17:34

lol riven, I do that

my washing pile is stacked up across one side of the kitchen at the moment but I make sure pants etc are poked down where they can't be seen

I drape towels etc over it if people come

I actually hate the mess, it's depressing and horrible, but I haven't got it in me to do anything about it

I feel guilty that the chidlren are living in it too, not that it seems to bother them

if the OP came to my house and then posted on MN saying what a dirty bitch I was I think I would crawl away and die

CyradisTheSeer · 13/08/2009 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SixtyFootDoll · 13/08/2009 17:41

I aggree with the OP on every level. I am a snob and always have been,

woodlands35 · 13/08/2009 17:42

allaboutme I'm with you on this 1 , i would not dream of having a party unless the house was spotless , i would have run a mile if i saw dog hair in food {yuk}

kitsmummy · 13/08/2009 17:45

allaboutme - i think mumsnet must be full of non-judgemental saints today . i'm not one of them, i'd feel exactly the same as you (maybe I wouldn't worry too much about fizzy drinks at a party, but for the rest i'm right there with you!)

LittleMissBliss · 13/08/2009 17:45

I would find it really gross to be honest. But i don't like dogs, so dog hair hair makes me feel a little icky. Especially in food...ugh! Houses that smell of smoke make me feel sick too.

I hoover twice a day and we don't have pets just a toddler that drops crumbs, brings grass in from out doors etc. I always hoover and tidy before guests are due. Unexpected guests may find the house a little untidy but not filthy. I just wouldn't let it get that way. Its not hard to do a little every day.

KERALA1 · 13/08/2009 17:52

Don't see how OP can be branded a "snob". How ridiculous. Some of the most filthy dog infested houses I've ever been to have been owned by very grand people.

Agree with OP - if people are coming round you at least bung the dirty washing in a bedroom and don't serve hairy sandwiches.

scottishmummy · 13/08/2009 17:57

untidy or cluttered doesn't bother me.

BUT dirty,hairy,manky keks, dog detritus in the dinner - that is just clarty

tummytickler · 13/08/2009 17:58

I have to agree with OP about dog hair in food, i can understand not hoovering before a party, but it sounds as though she hasn't hoovered for yonks.
More offensive to me would be only fizzy drinks on offer - i just dont understand it, and you can call me a snob all you like, dd is 8 and has never had a fizzy drink and refuses them now - i just dont understand why you would introduce it in the first place. It is a pet hate of mine, to see kids with fizzy drinks.
Smoke is gross too.
Our washing pile is always over flowing, but when we have people over we dump all the mess in our bedroom and shut the door

karala · 13/08/2009 18:01

I think I'd have tried to hoover but sometimes it just gets on top of you - dealing with children, organising parties and just generally coping. I remember finding the cat licking the birthday cake before one party at our place and I just chucked the cat out and scraped bits and pieces off. No one died.

Personally I wouldn't have a cream carpet and a dog.

Tryharder · 13/08/2009 18:11

Agree with OP. My house is very often a tip but if I've invited people round, I would clean it!

It's about standards and respect for yourself and other people. I wouldn't want people to see me with filthy clothes on, unbrushed hair etc (hardly wear make up though) and I wouldn't want people to have to sit in my filthy house with dirty knickers strewn everywhere.

I mean, come on, does it really take that much effort to keep a house reasonably clean and tidy (not talking gleaming, Anthea Turner standards here, but just basic hygiene and being able to find things!!)

Am a bit about the fizzy drinks though, because I can't see that giving a child one fizzy drink at a birthday party is necessarily a bad thing.

gingernutlover · 13/08/2009 18:13

karala - i had that happen too, my cat ate the icing tigger off of dd's 2nd birhtday cake lol. I didnt mention it but she kept asking "where tigger mummy"

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