to refuse to move house?

[cheekster]

Our house is lovely - 3 bed detached, good sized rooms (big enough if we want to expand our family anymore), nice neighbours, in a quiet cul de sac where DS can play when he is older, in a lovely little village with great community spirit and a fab school too.

The problem is, right behind us is a railway line, not a main line, we probably get trains going past every 30 mins or so. Our house is new - we bought off the plans, we were a little naive TBH and didnt realise how close the railway line was. Anyway, Ive learnt to live with it, yes it is still a pain when out in the garden sometimes but its gone within seconds anyway.

DH wants to move, not far, but he says he cannot stand the trains any longer. But I just think that whatever home you get there will always be something you arent quite happy with.

We have some money aside and were debating whether we use it to make a sunroom or to move home. I really want to dig my heels in and stay put, but if DH is nt happy them am I being unfair?

AIBU to want to stay put?

Probably YABU not to even consider it. How would you feel if the boot were on the other foot?

Another house might not be perfect but at least its imperfections might be something that both of you can tolerate - which doesn't seem to be the case where you are now.

Please move for your dh's sake - noise can be awful stressful and not everyone reacts to noise the same way. What irritates one person may not bother another. If your dh says he can't stand the trains then he can't stand the trains.

Surely you can move to another house in the village?

I am on anti-depressants due to lack of sleep because of HGV noise. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I think if dh is finding the noise unbearable, then yes, you have to move. Really not on to force someone to put up with something that raises their blood pressure twice an hour every time they are in their own home.

But are you sure it is the noise that's getting to him? Is it possible he's focused on the noise but actually there's something else getting at him?

The thing is, its not the noise that bothers him. He has actually admitted that the trains dont bother him. What DOES bother him is comments from people when they visit our house or come to a BBQ etc

We have had comments such as - "Dont know how you put up with that?" and they really get to him. It has come to the point that he wont invite people to BBQ s etc

I think he is being silly about it. He worries too much about what people think and I hate that of him. As you can imagine Im the total opposite, people take us as they find us and like us or lump us!

Hmm, well if he isn't worried himself about the trains, perhaps he could make a joke about it and tell his friends he's taken up trainspotting? Shame to up sticks and move just because of other people's comments!

I'd much rather live with a railway line running close to the house than a road.
Our friends have a railway alongside their garden, we visit them a lot, and you're right - the train is gone in seconds
while a road is pretty noisy constantly.

What a shame about the comments.

I agree. And a railway line at the bottom of the garden means you aren't overlooked by other houses, plus they are a great conduit for wildlife (I say this as someone with a line nearby, though not at the bottom of our garden, but we have regular foxy visitors pooing on the lawn )! I'd rather have trains going by every half hour than constant traffic. Safer for the dcs, too.

The railway line is 3 gardens away. But it is very visible through the patio doors in our lounge (which is at the back of the house)

But as mentioned previously it is only a problem when in the garden. BTW - DS loves them!

Mad reason to move - "oh I don't like it when people comment about x" - bit shallow imo. If that's his only reason then he's being silly - it's a fuck of a lot of upheaval and unnecessary bother because of a few insensitive clods' comments.

I lived across the road from a railway line for 14 years (one line of houses between me and it) and no one ever said anything. They just whinged about the lack of parking! but still came over.

I was going to say that you're being unreasonable, before you posted that DH is only really concerned about what your guests think.

I used to live very close to a railway line and it was dreadful. The whole block (was a flat) would shake, the TV would lose reception and it was deafening, and then there were the nights where they would send some special train along the line to mend all the tracks and that took aaaaages to get out of earshot. I effing hated living there.

Didn't bother DP much and so long as both of you are happy there, YANBU

Worrying about what other people think in this context is plain daft. So now YANBU.

Get him a pen and a notepad and send him outside to train spot! Or just teach him to say 'oh, ds loves watching the trains' to any tactless guests.

We live right on a trunk road and quite honestly after a week we ceased to notice the noise, although strangely you always hear if something stops outside. However, visitors are always remarking 'How can you live with that' as the whole house shakes while a big lorry is passing. We just tell them that we do not notice it.

There is a wood behind the house and an annually increasing number of crows nest there, arguing and squaking the whole day and evening AND ruining the washing. Now this does drive us demented and spoils what used to be a peaceful garden. We could not have predicted that this would happen. On the other hand our horrible noisy neighbours with the dog who barked all day, moved away and we have lovely, friendly, quiet neighbours on both sides.

Swings and roundabouts? It would be a shame to go through the upheaval of moving, only for your DH to find something else to bother about in the new house. You might also find it quite difficult to sell your 'railway cottage' as potential buyers would not realise how quickly you get used to train noise.

Could you do something to block the view of the train line so it can't be seen from the patio doors?

Perhaps put up some trellis with something evergreen growing up it? We have an evergreen clematis in our garden that hides an ugly bit of wall.

Do you think that would placate him a bit?

Oh and I would def have lots of BBQs and parties so your friends all get used to the train line and stop making comments. Perhaps do this when your DH is out to start with(!)