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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

a simple yes or no will suffice (!)

92 replies

pamelat · 06/08/2009 19:23

DD 18 months.

I work 3 days, she goes to nursery.

I have 2 days with her, plus the weekend with DH around.

Am member of very nice and never used gym . Prior to going back to work used to do a friday morning class and put DD in creche.

I still want to do this but feel I should not?

She used to like it but now she is a bit clingier (been at nursery 6 months now) and seems to want "mummmeeeeeeeeeeeeee" a lot more.

So would I be unreasonable to put her in the creche (just for an hour) maybe once a fortnight? It feels wrong but I really want to do something and lose some weight.

Is it really selfish when I dont see her for 3 days (for more than about an hour or so)

OP posts:
Original poster
pamelat · 06/08/2009 21:09

Hi all

DH is really very very good with her, its just that she behaves terribly with him.

He looked after her for 3 months whilst out of work, she was between 12 to 15 months. He was really good with her. Its just that she is being a madam at the moment and the only people that have any control over her seem to be me, nursery, my mum and my MIL.

She runs away from everyone else laughing, crazy but wonderful DD. She becomes kind of wild, we are working on it. She is difficult (a lot of the time) with me too but at least appears to listen to me.

DH is a star really. DD just seems to behave better with women at the moment. I think its because we talk to her more. DH is working on chatting with her more

OP posts:
happyjules · 06/08/2009 22:10

Go do it girl. you'll feel better for it.

TrillianAstra · 06/08/2009 22:16

Do it.

(couldn't give a simple yes or no as wasn't sure which one that is)

Yes you should do it.

No YANBU to want to do it.

ReneRusso · 06/08/2009 22:27

Do it and don't feel guilty

MikeStand · 06/08/2009 22:28

YANBU to want to go.

Sounds like your DD has had a few changes in 18 months with your DH looking after for 3 months and now finding 1 hour trying. There is no real reason why you cannot go in the evening or weekend and your DH can work on the glitch with your DD.

1 hour in a fortnight at a gym is a waste of money.

Overall Y(+DH)ABU.

hayes · 06/08/2009 22:29

no do it, she will have fun playing at the creche and yoou will get fit defo not being selfish

OneTrickPony · 06/08/2009 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

smallblessings · 06/08/2009 22:34

YANBU. After all keeping healthy is fundamental to life.

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 06/08/2009 22:36

No, YANBU.

cheesesarnie · 06/08/2009 22:38

its not selfish or unreasonable.do it.

BitOfFun · 06/08/2009 22:45

That's unanimous then

MamaMaiasaura · 06/08/2009 22:48

agree with mikestand, and fwiw you need to do at least more that an hour a fortnight to make a difference, so why not enrol on a aerobics course in the eveningsonce or twice a week and hubby can babysit. They do them late enough for her to be asleep.

flockwallpaper · 06/08/2009 22:48

yes, def do it.

Earthymama · 06/08/2009 22:52

Go to the gym every week, you need your own space sometimes to be smiley mummy when with little one!

Bathsheba · 07/08/2009 10:51

No - in that by going to the gym once a fortnight you'll do nothing to address any issues you have with fitness or weight - its simply not enough time to have any effect.

You would honestly need to go to the gym at least 2 - 3 times a week to have an effect.

Can you go to a class or for a workout in the evenings of a work day - either while DH is doing bedtime of after DD is in bed..?

LoveBeingAMummy · 07/08/2009 10:54

do it

Overmydeadbody · 07/08/2009 10:56

No.

Do it.

Life doesn't have to revolve around the children. The gym will only be a couple of hours, not all day.

edam · 07/08/2009 10:58

You need to leave dh and dd alone a bit more - he needs to spend time with dd in order to get over this tricky patch.

You are quite entitled to go to the gym and leave dd at a creche.

minxofmancunia · 07/08/2009 11:05

do it, fwiw my dd is a minx with me but good for everyone else, she'll be sensing your dhs anxieties and playing up, thet do this

Go 2xper week, fri and sun am to really see some results. I fully intentd to use the gym creche as much as poss when on mat leave after birth of dc no2!

Stigaloid · 07/08/2009 11:16

Go - one hour won't cause any harm and you will feel better for it in yourself.

BradfordMum · 07/08/2009 11:32

You will be a better mummy for having a bit of 'Me' time!
Do it!

oneopinionatedmother · 07/08/2009 11:45

no.

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/08/2009 11:53

Out of interest why does your mum think that you should not go?

Agree with others, leave DD with your DP. They need to get overt his patch of difficulty. It's not as if they need to leave the house, so DP doesn't have to worry about your DD running off and getting into danger or whatever.

Plus you really need to go more than once a week or you're paying (probably high) gym fees for very little, imho.

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 07/08/2009 11:55

No you and not being unreasonable to put her in a creche for an hour so you can have some you time.

stripes200 · 07/08/2009 12:00

Do it and maybe take her into the pool afterwards to make it a treat for her too?

Will appease your guilty feelings (even though they are unfounded, we all gotta work) and it'll be special mummy-DD time too