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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

a simple yes or no will suffice (!)

92 replies

pamelat · 06/08/2009 19:23

DD 18 months.

I work 3 days, she goes to nursery.

I have 2 days with her, plus the weekend with DH around.

Am member of very nice and never used gym . Prior to going back to work used to do a friday morning class and put DD in creche.

I still want to do this but feel I should not?

She used to like it but now she is a bit clingier (been at nursery 6 months now) and seems to want "mummmeeeeeeeeeeeeee" a lot more.

So would I be unreasonable to put her in the creche (just for an hour) maybe once a fortnight? It feels wrong but I really want to do something and lose some weight.

Is it really selfish when I dont see her for 3 days (for more than about an hour or so)

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 06/08/2009 19:31

No

stonethecrows · 06/08/2009 19:31

Can I go against popular opinion and say I don't think it is a particularly great idea - especially as there is no real reason you can't go in the evening.

I'm not saying that work is "you" time, but I do kind of think that those 2 days you have together are "her" time - so i don't think it is massively reasonable to cut into this if you don't have to.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 06/08/2009 19:32

Do it.

You'll have more energy for her afterwards

you could build her up to twice a week

Original poster
pamelat · 06/08/2009 19:33

I have tried to introduce a Sunday morning gym session (last 2 Sundays) but DH has struggled with it (DD is fairly high maintenance).

DH is brilliant with her and says will try again. I wanted to go twice a week though.

Friday & Sunday. I dont mind leaving her for an hour with DH. I was just feeling bad about thinking of leaving her in the creche on a Friday.

OP posts:
JeMeSouviens · 06/08/2009 19:36

I think it's fine. DS is in daycare 3 days, and if I have a haircut or really need to shop without him, I'll drop him off for another half day to enable me to get it done.

But if it's a gym you hardly use, and you only plan 1 per fortnight or 1 per week, will you be getting benefit from it? You could cancel the membership, and use that for facials!

I did the couch to 5km (started in Jan), and now go running before work, get up 6am, do my run, back in time for DH to get to work, or on my work days, for me to get to work. Have been a bit slack lately, but do it generally 3 x per week. Would you give that a go? Could also do it in the evenings when your DH gets in?

slowreadingprogress · 06/08/2009 19:42

Personally I would pursue the weekend session instead. Rather than creche, she would be with her daddy. I honestly think it is really really important for dads to have sole charge of their kids. It IS different and it imo does strengthen the bond they have. Yes he may find it a struggle and hard work but it WILL pay off in the end for them both.

So the thing with going on a weekend is that you get some totally guilt free 'you' time because you are doing a GOOD thing for everyone

FiveGoMadInDorset · 06/08/2009 19:42

NO

PrincessToadstool · 06/08/2009 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hercules1 · 06/08/2009 19:44

No reason not to do it.

hercules1 · 06/08/2009 19:45

Sorry I've also just read your post. That's pathetic that your dh can't look after his own child.

rubyslippers · 06/08/2009 19:46

YANBU

but your DH needs and should spend more time with her

the more time he spends with you, the easier their relationship will become

Longtalljosie · 06/08/2009 20:07

Do it. It's just an hour out of the day.

Your DH will learn if he does Sundays regularly as well - make sure you stick to that too.

snala · 06/08/2009 20:14

Do it!

completelyshotpelvicfloor · 06/08/2009 20:16

do it

macdoodle · 06/08/2009 20:17

Your DH cant manage his own Dd for an hour ????
My new DP (of 8 months no DC of his own) - is perfectly capable of watching my DD2 (age 19 months and pretty "high maintenance" ie a bit mad, active loon and a mummys girl)for an hour - he bounces with her on the trampoline , chases her round the house, gives her choc buttons and they are perfectly happy! Why cant he manage exactly ???

deaddei · 06/08/2009 20:24

I agree with headfairy- I used to have every Saturday afternoon off from when the children were 6 weeks old- I would go ANYWHERE- library, shops,wine bar...just to get away. Then return at 5 full of love for everyone. DH played golf in the morning, so he had some fun time too.
It kept me sane.

CloudDragon · 06/08/2009 20:30

twice a week better than once as she will get used to it more quickly!

DidEinsteinsMum · 06/08/2009 20:33

plus a lot of 18months get clingy its part of the age group, whether they have been in nursery or not. Do it.

LovingTheRain · 06/08/2009 20:35

No

haventsleptforayear · 06/08/2009 20:36

Do it.

Weekly.

Do you think a man would think twice about this?

(maybe not such a good basis for analysis though!)

Your mum is jealous that you can do it - there was nothing like gyms with crèches in "her day".

If she feels that bad about it, can SHE mind DD?

LovingTheRain · 06/08/2009 20:38

Meant to add, Do it, to the post before!

haventsleptforayear · 06/08/2009 20:39

Now read rest of thread...

Get DH to mind her on the weekend and go on Friday too.

I don't agree that's it's "cutting into" precious time - you spend 4 full days a week with your DD, plus all the time morning and evening (and night?) around your work days.

Sounds like you are her main "carer" those days so I don't see an hour will make any difference.

Would you feel this guilty if you were going to do the food shopping??

lollie69 · 06/08/2009 20:41

No

flowerybeanbag · 06/08/2009 20:44

I would have said yes do it then I saw that your DH can't cope looking after her for an hour by himself , and now I think you ought to do it at the weekend instead and sort that problem out pronto, that's ludicrous.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/08/2009 20:45

Go to the gym! (I wish I had)