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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ''tell on'' my friend for not looking after her 6week old son's health ?

129 replies

YummyMummy17 · 01/08/2009 17:39

Hey all....

My friend has a 6week old son this is her first and I am 5days over due with my first....
So we've been close through out our pregnancy's, discussing everything...

But she has started feeding her 6WEEK OLD SON baby food already
I am worried for his health but she wouldn't listen to me when I was ''telling her off'' she just says ''well he's a hungry baby !''

Baby's are not ment to be fed food until at least 6months !
we had the same midwife as one another....
I am seeing her on Monday, do you think i should tell our midwife about what she is doing?
I am really worried about his health......

Help please !

xx

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 02/08/2009 22:10

no, this was weaning as in 'give first solid food to'.

Cataline · 02/08/2009 22:21

This thread has made me think of my horror last week when a friend of mine changed his FB status to "little one is having a great time sucking on a Freddo"

His "little one" is 10 wks old!!!!

And apparently it's a regular thing as "they're her favourite things in the world"

I find myself repeatedly shocked at the ignorance of some people who blithely enter into being parents...

AitchTwoOh · 02/08/2009 22:22

wowsers!

minxofmancunia · 02/08/2009 22:29

I've taken loads of developmental histories from parents who've started solids at 6 weeks, kids are usually 6-13 years old so not that long ago (work in CAMHS).

a lot have done it because they're ignorant as to why they shouldn't but some have done it on the advice of a hcp .

I started dd on solids at 4.5 months despite the guidelines, without going into it too much she was a transformed baby once solids were introduced to supplement milk, wen from all day screaming and general hellishness and no sleep to being a happy, playful contented little girl. Am pg with no 2 and if i have the same probs will wean before 6 months (but after 4) again.

I wouldn't tell the hv/mw but suggest hungry baby formula instead.

cheezcurl · 02/08/2009 22:30

Oh wow... and I go into paroxysms of guilt when DD (14 months) grabs a crisp and stuffs it in her mouth before I can get to her! I don't feel so bad now, clearly I could be worse.

oldnewmummy · 03/08/2009 04:50

Can I just add that it's refreshing to see people encouraging hungry-baby formula. As someone who HAD to formula feed as DS was adopted, although I agree that breast is best I hate reading ranting that presumes that giving baby formula is like giving the devil's urine.

(I did wait until 6 months to wean, however!)

LynetteScavo · 03/08/2009 08:00

I'm wondering about the 18 month old in india...don't they just grab the food off their parents plates? My DC's would have....

LOL @ "devils urine"

BertieBotts · 03/08/2009 09:46

Sorry I thought you meant the HV was aware.

I think that as others have said the Health Visitor obviously isn't inspiring much confidence in your friend. Would it be possible for her to see another health visitor?

You could mention it to your midwife without seeming obvious, ie go for your checkup, then start a conversation about Health Visitors, e.g:
After the birth we see the Health Visitor rather than the midwife, right? My friend X - I think you know her - she hasn't found them very helpful, her baby is really hungry and the HV told her not to up his milk so she's started him on baby food. I was a bit shocked tbh, I thought you were supposed to wait until 6 months...
(etc)

So it isn't like you're saying to the midwife "Listen to this, this is what my friend is doing" it's more a "This is interesting, I'm a bit worried, what do you think?"

Original poster
YummyMummy17 · 03/08/2009 09:50

Im glad i brought up this discussion, everyone has so many opinions, I am agreeing with all those who say that it is NOT good for the child and could be life threatening.....

I have decided it is not my place to tell on her, but, I defo will be expressing exactly how I feel to her, I will also research and print off known facts about it and make her fully aware on how bad this potentially could be for her child !

I'am going to ask her why she hasn't introduced milk for hungrier babies before giving him food in the first place....

Thanks for all your thoughts and discussions !

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 03/08/2009 10:22

as a matter of interest, just so you know, milk for hungry babies doesn't contain more calories, it's just processed in a more old-fashioned way so it takes longer to digest.
this sometimes makes me wonder about the last generation of mothers who kept to strict four hour schedules... well of course they were able to, the milk was 'thicker'. now it's quicker to digest (more like bm ) so this makes me think that a lot of advice on sleeping etc from our mothers who ff is out of the window.

lynette, i know, let me see if i can find the thread.

AitchTwoOh · 03/08/2009 10:25

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weaning/551977-anyone-fancy-weaning-at-2-years-old?reverse=1

here it is, i've slightly misremembered, it's 16% weren't weaned until 2.

LynetteScavo · 03/08/2009 15:18

Thanks

katiestar · 03/08/2009 18:32

When I was a baby the advice was to start weaning at 3-6 weeks.everybody thrived AFAIK

GirlsAreLoud · 03/08/2009 19:06

Oldnewmummy, you're not Kew are you? Just thought I haven't seen her for ages.

independiente · 03/08/2009 19:06

I think 'as far as I know' is the important point though Katiestar. How many of that 'everybody' now have gastrointestinal and or autoimmune problems that might have been caused/exacerbated by very early weaning?

katiestar · 03/08/2009 19:11

generally my contempories seemed and still seem to be a lot healthier bunch than todays allergy-ridden littlies.I can't remember anyone being allergic to anything !

hercules1 · 03/08/2009 19:16

How old are you, Katiestar?

katiestar · 03/08/2009 19:19

Now don't yopu know it's rude to ask a lady that ?
(Cough) 41 (cough)

Am just going to dig out Dr Spock to see what he has to say on the matter.I remember my mum telling me about another mum bragging that her DS was already on yolk of egg and he was only 6 weeks !!

nellie12 · 03/08/2009 19:24

I can beat that. I was weaned at 8 days onto some sort of biscuit that the hospital gave out. Luckily not allergic to anything. God knows why they all thought baby's should be on solids at that age.

hercules1 · 03/08/2009 19:29

I know lots of people that age range who have things like IBS. My own brother who is 42 has severe life threatening allergy to nuts. I could go on to list all the people your age who have health problems and allergies but what would be the point? It doesnt prove anything just as you saying people your age are a lot healthier.

AitchTwoOh · 03/08/2009 20:31

aren't we about the least healthy generation there's ever been? obesity, diabetes, bp problems etc absolutely rocketing?

puffylovett · 03/08/2009 20:41

yes definitely. The majority of clients that I see are early 30's to 50's, tons of bowel problems, diabetes, heart disease or just plain not feeling well, with no known reason - all conventional tests showing nothing.

plimple · 04/08/2009 08:20

Yummy Mummy, if you want to keep your friend but also want to do the right thing I really think mentioning it to your shared midwife is best. "Telling" on her isn't a bad thing, the "worst" that'll happen is that the MW or HV will give her a leaflet and talk to her about weaning. I'd be annoyed with a friend - who hasn't even had a baby yet - who kept putting their views onto me, but may take it better from a HV, MW.

babyignoramus · 04/08/2009 09:42

I second mentioning to someone - HVs/MW - even if they do nothing at least you've tried.

FWIW, I weaned DS at 4 months because he's a very hungry baby (has been known to have 12oz in one feed etc). But he still has mostly formula, and I give him hungry baby formula at his late night feed to see him through and it has made a difference to his night waking. She might find using it during night feeds makes him sleep better? I didn't realise it was 'brewed' differently though, in fact the HV told me not to use it as it's empty calories, contains loads of fillers etc. I ignored her though!

AitchTwoOh · 05/08/2009 10:13

loads of HVs think it has more cals. and what, pray, might 'empty cals' be in formula in any case, it's just silly. ergo loads of hvs are silly.

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