Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to ''tell on'' my friend for not looking after her 6week old son's health ?

129 replies

YummyMummy17 · 01/08/2009 17:39

Hey all....

My friend has a 6week old son this is her first and I am 5days over due with my first....
So we've been close through out our pregnancy's, discussing everything...

But she has started feeding her 6WEEK OLD SON baby food already
I am worried for his health but she wouldn't listen to me when I was ''telling her off'' she just says ''well he's a hungry baby !''

Baby's are not ment to be fed food until at least 6months !
we had the same midwife as one another....
I am seeing her on Monday, do you think i should tell our midwife about what she is doing?
I am really worried about his health......

Help please !

OP posts:

K999 · 01/08/2009 18:19

If it's upsetting you that much, have quiet word with the midwive...but tbh its not your baby so theres not much else you can do....other than try and have another conversation with her about it!

PrincessToadstool · 01/08/2009 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCrackFox · 01/08/2009 18:34

Some old Dear recommended baby rice in DS1s bottle at 3 weeks old .

lou031205 · 01/08/2009 18:45

Food would go down. DD2 was prem and had reflux and was prescribed carobel (a thickener) when she was 6 weeks old (2 weeks corrected). At first she sucked it from my finger, but within a few feeds she ate it from a spoon before her BF. She didn't (BLW) wean until 7 months.

HansieMom · 01/08/2009 19:45

DS1 born in 1968 and breastfed to 11 months. He had cereal at one month, fruit added at two months, veggies at three, meat at four months (which I skipped as it looked gross), and egg yolks added at five months. He was eating quite a lot of table food by eight months.

He slept through the night at eight weeks.

Solids were fed much later to my five grandchildren (ages 8 months to five years), and I don't see anything wrong with what we did and am a little puzzled by today's guidelines, but realize things change. If the mum with a six week old is getting cereal, that seems fine with me.

Pikelit · 01/08/2009 19:58

Early weaning was still occurring in the 1980s and this is NOT anecdotal evidence! Not that I ever fed a 6 week old baby solid food. However, health visitors were routinely suggesting the addition of baby rice to the bottles of "poor feeders".

I never had a poor feeder but ds2 was happily eating mashed up banana sandwiches at 6 months.

Pikelit · 01/08/2009 20:01

PS. Just to add that 3 months was the recommended age to introduce solids in the early 1980s.

cass66 · 01/08/2009 20:16

Sorry, no point telling your midwife if her health visitor is aware already. the midwife has nothing to do with them now he is 6 weeks. it's the HV who should know, and from your posts she does.

keep your nose out of it. XX

pranma · 01/08/2009 21:28

40 years ago I was told by clinic to start my 6 week old on Farex to help him sleep through!I did and he did he had no health problems.I wouldnt do it nowadays though.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 01/08/2009 21:57

Surely the main point here is it doesnt matter if half the country were weaned at 6 weeks (and are all ok now). We now know differently and there is a whole host of research evidence to back that up!!! There is a reduction in risk waiting until 6 months rather than 4, let alone weaning before then.

Recommendations change because of evidence not just because some person at WHO is bored and fancies a bet to see how many people they can get to follow their new made up rule

There is evidence to suggest solids prior to 12 weeks can be very dangerous. I am not sure I would call it abuse but may count it as neglect.

If it were me I would take the innocent route of mentioning it to midwife and seeing if she would pass it to HV. It is a subject I feel very strongly about though.

IdrisTheDragon · 01/08/2009 22:02

I had my first solid food at about 3.5 months in 1975, and I think that was quite "late".

sweetkitty · 01/08/2009 22:06

I had mashed up rusk in my bottle at 4 weeks old and potatoes and mince at 6 weeks according to my mother, and the shocking thing was I was a 34 week premmie, it was recommended that she shovel as much food as she could into me to fatten me up

She still has this mentality and is obsessed with trying to shove food inot babies.

puffylovett · 01/08/2009 22:07

My sister and I were started on baby rice at 6 weeks. Yes, we slept through - I now have irritable bowel syndrome and a whole host of food allergies and she has mild crohns disease.

I'm not saying that the early weaning is directly responsible, but am sure it's a contributory factor.

Not sure that there is much you can do in this case, as her HV must know about it and will surely have told her the guidelines that are in place.

Ninkynork · 01/08/2009 22:11

Don't know if you should tell, it's difficult.

I went to my local Sure Start centre the other day and met parents who worked there who proudly said that their older baby was weaned at three months because she was so hungry she was drinking 20 oz of milk per day.

I had to bite my tongue and ended up wondering in a vague manner why a hungry baby would be fed diet foods of fruit and vegetables instead of calorific milk.

I am a marked woman

JustcallmeDog · 01/08/2009 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JustcallmeDog · 01/08/2009 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

peppapighastakenovermylife · 01/08/2009 22:16

'It was shocking this was in front of HV's'

chegirl · 01/08/2009 22:26

I remember that poor baby being fed 'cereal' and dying. As I recall the parents were on a very low income and thought cereal meant breakfast type cereal. So they bought the cheaper shreddies/weetabix rather than baby stuff.

Poor things. It wasnt their fault. I am not sure of the baby's age but it wouldve been when weaning was done at 3-4mths. I dont remember the baby being younger than that (at least there was no mention of it being too young for food).

My babies were weaned young by today's standard but I think 6 weeks is waaay to young. But it sounds like its a family thing I very much doubt you or a health visitor will change her mind.

WesternBelle · 01/08/2009 22:44

I think I remember that too Chegirl, at least the one I remember was parents who fed their baby a certain porridge-type cereal because they thought it was like baby rice but more economical.

Unfortunately the cereal looked innocently like baby rice but had high levels of salt meant for adults not babies, and the baby died . It was ignorance and poverty to blame.

kitkatqueen · 01/08/2009 22:51

My aunt told me that I should give dd1 farex and formula in a bottle because she wasn't sleeping through at 3 months. I told her it wasn't reccomended any more and that she was breastfeeding just fine thanks. ( trying to change the subject...) She got really cross ( too much red wine?) and informed me that it doesn't do any harm and we all had it ( meaning me, my sisters and all my cousins who happened to be present) So i'm afraid I pointed to each one in turn and listed their allergies. The previous generation didn't have any of them and had been breast fed. Its not proof that early weaning ( or earlier than we do now) is damaging but it ended the badgering that I was receiving.

I don't agree with weaning that early, but I suspect you will have trouble changing her mind about it.

You could try telling her that you asked the hv's advice about it because you thought it was 6 mnths and wanted to double check in case you needed to get some jars in or something? An then hand her a wedge of printout showing why its a bad idea, but in reality you will probably lose your friend.

It sounds as tho she has an opposing parenting style to you in spiteof your closeness during pregnancy so in reality I think you are going to lose her anyway...

When your baby gets to 6 weeks she is going to expect you to start weaning like she did and when you don't she will view it that you are judging her descision even if you don't say anything now...

good luck...

PinkTulips · 01/08/2009 23:00

my aunt's son is 13 and she was putting rice in his milk at 5 weeks .... on the suggestion of the nurse and several female relatives.

she feels the need to point out every time one of mine is that age and makes the slightest whimper 'wouldn't do him/her any harm to have some baby rice. X was getting it in his bottle at that age'

[rolls eyes and sighs]

sadly we can't stop people doing bloody stupid things to their kids, much as it upsets us to watch it.

however if your parenting methods are that differant i do think you need to accept the fact you may lose your friend sooner rather than later as friendships don't survive massive differances like that

raffyandted · 01/08/2009 23:53

It can be physically harmful to wean a baby before 4 months. Babies' kidneys aren't mature enough to cope with the waste products from different solid foods before this age, and also they don't have all the digestive enzymes that solid food requires. People didn't know that years ago, which is why there are all these mums and grandmothers around saying 'well, thats what I did'.

I would tell someone, because 6 weeks is dangerously early. Apart from future digestive problems, he could choke on whatever she's spooning into him. Surely they won't tell your friend how they found out? Though I suppose since she knows you disapprove, she'll guess it's you.

Ah well, I don't think I could stay friends with someone that I thought was doing something that may harm their child, but tht's just me. I know it's easier said than done.

BertieBotts · 02/08/2009 00:26

You say the Health Visitor has already advised her against it, so they are aware. I don't think it would make any difference if you tell the midwife, she will have been discharged from midwifery care into the Health Visiting team now anyway.

It is sad but there is not a lot you can do other than give her the information that you know about it being dangerous. One of my friends is totally lax about car seat safety and I have given her information about it a few times and I have had to let it go now - if she has the information, it's her decision. I always try not to come across as judgy when I give the information! It is hard to find a balance.

Original poster

YummyMummy17 · 02/08/2009 11:49

her HV DOESNT KNOW i dont know what has made yous think that......
and yous are saying weend at 3months..... this baby is not even 2months ......

just had to get tht straight

thanks for all your thoughts xx

OP posts:

Original poster

YummyMummy17 · 02/08/2009 11:49

her HV DOESNT KNOW i dont know what has made yous think that......
and yous are saying weend at 3months..... this baby is not even 2months ......

just had to get tht straight

thanks for all your thoughts xx

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6