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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ''tell on'' my friend for not looking after her 6week old son's health ?

129 replies

YummyMummy17 · 01/08/2009 17:39

Hey all....

My friend has a 6week old son this is her first and I am 5days over due with my first....
So we've been close through out our pregnancy's, discussing everything...

But she has started feeding her 6WEEK OLD SON baby food already
I am worried for his health but she wouldn't listen to me when I was ''telling her off'' she just says ''well he's a hungry baby !''

Baby's are not ment to be fed food until at least 6months !
we had the same midwife as one another....
I am seeing her on Monday, do you think i should tell our midwife about what she is doing?
I am really worried about his health......

Help please !

OP posts:

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 02/08/2009 12:00

"Well she says he's really hungry, even though she has put up his feeds....
Even though the Health Visitor told her not too..."

I think this is what people have taken. I assume you mean that the HV has told her not to put the milk feeds up, in which case I can kind of see her logic in giving the baby solid food.

If the baby is hungry, and she has been advised not to give more milk, then what else is she supposed to do? It's miserable having a baby crying with hunger....

Original poster

YummyMummy17 · 02/08/2009 12:21

she IS giving him more milk even though the HV told her not to.... aswell as putting his milk feeds up she is giving him solids

HV does not know about the milk feeds going up or that she is giving him solids .....
she was advised not to......

OP posts:

Original poster

YummyMummy17 · 02/08/2009 12:21

she IS giving him more milk even though the HV told her not to.... aswell as putting his milk feeds up she is giving him solids

HV does not know about the milk feeds going up or that she is giving him solids .....
she was advised not to......

OP posts:

qwertpoiuy · 02/08/2009 12:30

My aunt started her ds on solids at 2 weeks old! She said he was hungry, cried loads and that's what she was advised by her doctor! That was 1972 though.

Mine all started at 4 months. When my dc3 was born, I saw the rule had changed and WHO recommended holding off solids until 6mo. Well, I figured she was no different to my other dcs so she started at 4mo too.

In the 70s and 80s a lot of parents started children on solids at 6 weeks, and

OP, mention it to midwife

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 02/08/2009 13:37

Well I don't really know what you want us to say, OP. YANBU for being concerned about this baby, but it sounds like the HV is aware of the issue, and if your friend doesn't listen to what the HV tells her anyway, what use is telling the MW going to do?

thesouthsbelle · 02/08/2009 13:49

right i'd tell the HV first of. without a doubt. then suggest to your friend that they do a hungry baby formula that might suit him. coupled with the fact babies have growth spurts (at 6 weeks I was sat on the sofa for a week as DS wouldn't leve my boob!) i'd suggest to her he's having a growth spurt. he prob is a bit hungrier but that's cos he's growing, honeslty try the hungry baby formula. and if she's bf try more feeds is about all I can think of.

baby rice never agreed with my DS it unsettled him terribly. much better to wait until they're old enough to sit up right and do the BLW where you can let them have some boiled/steamed veg to gum at

JoesMummy09 · 02/08/2009 13:59

When I was pregnant someone I work with told me that with her babies she didn't even consider breastfeeding and used to give her baby soup in his bottle from when he was 3 days old, because he was "such a hungry baby"

I later found out her son had only grown to about 4'9...

Tip off your friend's HV and then say no more about it. That way if something does happen - like the baby getting too much salt and having kidney problems - you know you did what you could.

nellie12 · 02/08/2009 14:04

I dont understand why would the hv tell your friend not to increase the milk feed if she has a hungry baby? That is the very thing she should be doing. And agree with others that there is a 6 week growth spurt - making them ravenous.

MollieO · 02/08/2009 14:07

I weaned ds at 7 weeks(his corrected age) as advised by my paediatrician. Obviously not what you do with 'normal' babies but it was fine for him.

hairymelons · 02/08/2009 14:11

I would tell her HV even though i'd feel terrible about it. Your friend is a grown woman and might be upset with you but she can speak for herself whereas that poor, defenceless mite cannot!
I couldn't turn a blind eye- plus, the HV could get the message across without getting you in trouble, just by pretending it's a general check up or something?

trellism · 02/08/2009 14:23

My DH was fed on mashed banana and peanut porridge from about 6 weeks due to a spectacular cock-up of breast and formula feeding that led him to refuse both.

He seems all right but that was 30-odd years ago (in South Africa) and I thought the guidelines were pretty clear now.

oneopinionatedmother · 02/08/2009 14:25

erm - well as I have given a baby rice with booby milk@6 weeks i can definitely say they can swallow it. I would be livid if anyone reported me for this.

so no, many people here (and indeed HCPs) would view this as unwise, but not abusive. YABU.

bear in mind weaning guidelines up until (was it 92?) were 12 weeks, and before that much earlier.

SlartyBartFast · 02/08/2009 14:25

abosultely agree, i think you must tell somebody, if she isnt listenign to you, then at least she should listen to a professional person who will hopefully come armed with all the stats and info and basically be used to dealing with this kind of person

LuluMaman · 02/08/2009 14:27

but why opinionatedmother, would you give baby rice at 6 weeks?

obviosuly you made a choice to do so, so why?

LoveBeingAMummy · 02/08/2009 14:27

Maybe encourage her to speak to the HV about what she is doing.

LuluMaman · 02/08/2009 14:30

the HV has told her not to increase the amount of milk she is giving, so i am not sure the HV is going to give her brilliant advice anyway

nellie12 · 02/08/2009 14:31

I wouldn't tell because the hv is already aware she is thinking of weaning and may know she is doing it, she is only feeding baby rice not mashed chips or something similar and if hv is actually telling her not to increase the milk then tbh she sounds useless.

It would probably be more useful to suggest your friend to start a thread on how to cope with a very hungry baby for some decent advice and support.

oneopinionatedmother · 02/08/2009 14:37

because I had a 17 mo to look after too. He was feeding alot.

In the end i found it easier to ebf until 5mo as prepping it was a hassle and feeding even slower.

historically people have weaned much earlier (though onemight question why) the 6 months thing is todays guideline - who knows what it will be in 20 years time?

no, he didn't get ill. (although as i'm sure someone will point out, that doesn't mean it would be ok in every case)

LuluMaman · 02/08/2009 14:40

but feeding a lot is what a 6 week old does

giving baby rice at 6 weeks is not going to stop a baby wanting and needing more milk

but there you go

historically, weaning was done later.. 9 -12 months was more the norm

early weaning came into fasion when formula milk gained a hold and was soemthign docotrs could precribe

just becasue something was done in th epast, it is not a reason to dismiss the currnet guildelines, that are not that new anyway

5uper5tar · 02/08/2009 14:41

You could invite her round, ask to show her something and then show her this thread...may make her realise that people think she is a complete chav and her poor little baby may develop bowel problems and food intolerances or allergies. No point 'telling' on her, I cant see hv's doing anything more than you have by having a word. She may not remain your friend though although i wonder if she would anyway if you have no respect for her.

MollieO · 02/08/2009 14:45

I gave ds baby rice and pear puree at 7 weeks. I was told to do so and it did him no harm at all.

LuluMaman · 02/08/2009 14:48

recently mollie? under the guidance of a peadiatrician, or just because you wanted to?

current weaning guidelines suggest around 26 weeks. which is vastly different to 6 or 8 or 10 weeks

i can just see this is going to go around in circle.s

just because your son is fine, does not mean every baby weaned at such an early age will be

the guidelines were not drawn up by the WHO and endorsed by the NHS and DoH for fun or to annoy parents

MollieO · 02/08/2009 14:55

His paediatric consultant suggested it. My HV was dead against it, my GP (also a paediatric registrar) was in favour too. Ds was a prem so weaning started at 7 weeks corrected (which would be 7 weeks for a full term baby). Very poor weight gain and very bad reflux - brought up the majority of every feed. The view was that having 'heavier' food would maybe stay down. Made little difference for the first 3 weeks but then gradual improvement. Was on proper solids a lot earlier too.

It wasn't sold to me as being something 'exceptional' at all.

MollieO · 02/08/2009 14:57

Should add that all my HV did at the sight of ds's health problems was panic. Complete waste of space in my (and my GP's opinion). She was so bad in fact that my GP banned her from visiting me.

JiminyCricket · 02/08/2009 15:09

I would mention it to the midwife/HV just saying you were concerned and wanted to tell someone who might be able to advise the friend.

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