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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to make social arrangements with a 7 year old?

36 replies

Hassled · 28/07/2009 20:55

One of DS3's friends will ring my mobile to discuss with me when DS3 can come to play, or when he can come to our house. He's 7, FFS. He's a nice enough kid, if a tad precocious. And it's not like he's doing this on the sly - the mother is always close enough in the background that when I say, as I always do, "well I'll have to talk about it with your Mum", the phone is passed over pronto. Why does she let this happen? What parent is going to say "Well, DS3 can come at around 2.30 and then we'll pick him up at 5 if that's not too late but he does have a bit of a cold" to a 7 year old? Or am I just very old fashioned?

OP posts:
hmc · 28/07/2009 20:59

It's not exactly a big deal is it?

hmc · 28/07/2009 21:00

Why doesn't he ring your landline? (totally irrelevant to the discussion but I am curious)

moondog · 28/07/2009 21:00

God, hesounds incredibly annoying. I'd refuse just to put him in his place. Ican't be doing with precocious kids at all.

MummyDragon · 28/07/2009 21:00

It would pss me off too, but I am* a bit of a control freak ... ... so, objectively speaking, I'm not sure if YABU or not.

Not much help, sorry!

franklymydear · 28/07/2009 21:01

agree - precocious kids get right on ma tits

MummyDragon · 28/07/2009 21:02

Next-door's 6-year-old came round last week to ask if my DS could go to the park with him. No parents in sight. Is this the norm now?

singalongamumum · 28/07/2009 21:03

YANBU. Supposing he didn't pass on the information to his mum? I'd never do that, anyway it's annoying.

HuffwardlyRouge · 28/07/2009 21:05

I think it's fine. You learn how to do things by trying them out in a safe environment. He is practising making arrangements by phone, a useful skill.

lilackaty · 28/07/2009 21:05

My children go and call for their friends who live down the next street. I've spoken to the parents and we have arranged that that is ok though. And dd emails her friends but not their parents.

Original poster
Hassled · 28/07/2009 21:06

I don't know why he doesn't ring my landline. They have the number. It's one of the many things that randomly annoy me about the whole thing. And no, it's not a big deal but it happens so bloody often and I am NEVER going to negotiate "playdate" terms with a small child. That's a job for the grown ups. Did I mention that he has an irritating squeaky telephone voice as well?

OP posts:
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 28/07/2009 21:06

DD is seven - some of her friends do this. We have a chat, then I speak to the parent to confirm. What's the problem?

squilly · 28/07/2009 21:06

My 8yo does this sometimes, but only with her very best friend who she's known for ages. I can see it might be annoying to some parents but I figure they're going to start arranging things between themselves soon enough. They may as well start early and learn well.

Fillyjonk · 28/07/2009 21:09

really don't see the issue here

or why its annoying

hmc · 28/07/2009 21:11

Lol at the irritating squeaky voice - but on the whole, I do think you should go with it. His mum is trying to encourage independence / self reliance etc.....

ScummyMummy · 28/07/2009 21:11

Does he ask to speak to you or your son?Would find the latter fine- think some kids like ringing their mates up even at that age. Odd if he really wants to talk to someone's mum though- unless you are child-magnet type? Or do you think his mother misguidedly thinks it charming?

Katisha · 28/07/2009 21:12

Or maybe the mum is getting the child to do it because it embarrasses her to keep ringing you...

Original poster
Hassled · 28/07/2009 21:16

I am a child magnet. And I only really like my own children.

He wants to speak to me to arrange it, not DS3, in an adult-type manner. One day he will make a great social secretary. I think that's where my problem lies.

OK, so maybe I am being unreasonable. Next time he rings, I'll do all the arranging with him and see if it suits .

OP posts:
thedolly · 28/07/2009 21:16

YABU and mean spirited

ScummyMummy · 28/07/2009 21:18

Well, it's all your fault then and YABU! You child-magnet, you. How's the poor boy supposed to resist?

Katisha · 28/07/2009 21:19

I wouldn't. And I wouldn't let my DSs ring up other mothers to do this.
Would others on here really encourage their young DCs to ring their friends' mothers to make arrangements?

Original poster
Hassled · 28/07/2009 21:21

God, I am so bloody malleable, aren't I?
At 9.06: I am NEVER going to negotiate "playdate" terms with a small child.
But yet by 9.16: Next time he rings, I'll do all the arranging with him and see if it suits.

So not only unreasonable, but lacking in principles. Not to mention mean spirited. I've had better days.

OP posts:
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 28/07/2009 21:23

How old are your DSs Katisha? My DDs are 12, 9 and 7. The older two tend to ring their friends and make their own social arrangements. The (just) 7 year old will not speak on the phone. To anyone. Ever. Even me if I happen to be away for any reason. Frankly, I would prefer her to take a leaf out of her friends' book and make some calls.

Katisha · 28/07/2009 21:24

9 and 7. Ringing their friends is one thing, but ringing and expecting to speak to the mother would be something else entirely I feel and not something I would be comfortable with them doing.

cat64 · 28/07/2009 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScummyMummy · 28/07/2009 21:28

lol- just roll with it. The kid loves you and there's nothing you can do about it other than accept your fate.

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