shy people get on my tits

[brimfull]

and I know I am being unreasonable

but I want to shout-' grow up and make a fucking effort!!'

and don't moan about your kids not having mates to play with when you never ask people back,never say hello in the street

thanks

needed to get that off my chest

[carocaro]

I agree with OP. I can't STAND people who bleet on about their lonely little lives and how their children have no friends as these are the same people who never attend when invited to things etc etc.

If they have the gumption to moan they have the gumption to get on with it. It is not a black and white as CONFIDENT and SHY, we are all a mixture of both, but I can't stand moaners how do F ALL about it.

[Mumcentreplus]

moaning to a friend does not take gumption..

[Jude68]

They shouldn't be moaning at all if they are unprepared to change their personality, step out of their comfort-zone if seek help if they are unable to find the necessary courage and seek help.
They should accept their lot and stop moaning. Why should other people (often shy people too) make all the effort?

[Mumcentreplus]

So you can't talk/moan about it with friends either?...ok

[LyraSilvertongue]

No, because said friends then start threads like this

[Mumcentreplus]

[Jude68]

I guess I must be very thick skinned or brave as the whole toddler group gig doesn't really worry me. My kid loves playing beside other 2/3 yr olds..it's worth going just for that alone. A chat with another parent is nice but not the end of the world if it doesn't always happen.

[Jude68]

But Mumcentreplus, said moaning friend must accept that confident friend will occassionally get thoroughly fucked off with the apathetic, self-pitying bleating in the absence of any motivation to change her sorry, self-inflicted situation..no?

[Mumcentreplus]

In the same way the shy or less confident friend will get fucked off with confident friend acting like it just as simple as 'growing up' and making an 'effort'..they are a friend are they not? this is the boring bleating part..I'm sure confident friend bleats..just about different things...

[Jude68]

Perhaps the confident friend bleats about things that piss her off that are out of her control or things that she intends to act on...?
That's the difference...self-pitying moaning when the moaner has no intention of helping her situation.

[BottySpottom]

WTF 'They shouldn't be moaning at all if they are unprepared to change their personality' - change their personality?

Er OK, so you want them to climb back in the womb, undo any genetic material, undo any influence they have had from the womb onwards? Look, if you are going to spout offensive bollocks on here, at least make sure it makes sense and some scientific standing.

One thing that really gest on MY TITS is confident people talking bollocks and getting away with it because they are loud.

I would always trust a shy person in a position of power or influence because you know to have got that far they really know their stuff.

[Mumcentreplus]

Perhaps being shy isn't about being about self-pitying something you cannot just control..thank fuck i don't have some of you lot for friends..to me it's about encouragement and support..not whinging behind your friends back about her personality..sure they get on your tit's but guaranteed you get on theirs too..unless you are perfect of course

[Jude68]

What's this balls about crawling back into the womb and undoing your genetc make-up?
We're talking about working on self-improvement if aspects of your personality leave you feeling shy, inadequate or unhappy.
So you don't agree with any form of self-improvement?
Jjust sit about whinging about how shy and
miserable you are and how as a result your kid has no playdates.
But hey it's not her fault...it's her shy genes!!

[Mumcentreplus]

I totally agree with self-improvement Jude it's something everyone should try to do.. But it's easy to be impatient with someone if your don't understand or have their problem..and that to me shows a lack of empathy and is quite unkind...but hey thats the way I see it..

[BottySpottom]

Jude, if you don't understand what 'personality' actually means, or is, you'd best butt out of this thread. You're making yourself look stupid.

Oh and a bit of a leap of logic to assume I don't believe in self improvement. I don't recall writing that.

[Spottybottom]

OMG Botty - I bet you were so peeved when you found out that I had already cornered this name!

[BottySpottom]

So how come this is your first post then? eh? I was 'ere first, so you can take your spotty rump elsewhere

[Mumcentreplus]

You could call yourself PoxyPosterior perhaps?

[TiggyR]

Hmm, tricky one. I have no problem with people who are naturally quiet/reserved. They are often the most interesting once you get to know them, but it can take perseverance to get past what may at first seem like a dull/tough exterior. Some people just can't be bothered to spend so much time chipping away at one person and getting so little back. I do think some people can use their their shyness as an excuse for arrogance or rudeness, or just plain laziness.

I am one of those people who is often categorised as very self confident because I talk a lot. But I don't actually feel self-confident, and my verbosity is often a nervous reaction to awkward social situations, and wanting people to like me. Because I have hang ups that I am not slim/beautiful/clever/successful enough I over-compensate by trying to be funny and interesting enough instead. I am aware that it can sometimes spill over into boorish conversation hogging, which I hate about myself. But although I make a huge effort to ask others lots of questions, and look for subjects that might inspire them to open up a bit about themselves, some people just can't sustain more than a sentence or two, and there's a long awkward silence until I start again! I dread being stuck with someone like that at parties because it brings out the worst in me, and I end up I talking too much. I'm always so relieved to find I'm not the most talkative person at the table - it's as much of a burden as being someone with nothing to say!

[poshsinglemum]

A lot of people are shy op because of people like you!

I like shy people as they make me feel more confident!

[Threadworm]

There probably isn't all that much of an overlap between the shy people and the non-smilers/non-hello-sayers. They might just be anti-social, not nec the same thing.

I think shyness makes me more likely to do the smile-and-hello thing (don't want people to hate me fopr being cold). But then I just cannot hold the eye contact. I really try, but I look away too su=oon, which I think looks dismissive or something.

[themachinist]

Slight digression... but I hear you Leningrad. I moved about a year ago, and its been a lesson in neighbour-greeting politics! Some of the neighbours are v friendly - and I only really want to say hello, not start a freaking coffee morning - some actually blank me quite obviously!

It got to me a little. Am a fairly confident person, but i found myself analysing the reasons why they must hate me/us.. worng type, car, children, hair, whatever! I know, in reality, it more likely about them than me, but isnt it odd?

I moved from somewhere where everyone said hello, and passed the time of day, but didnt interfere, intrude, start coffee mornings, etc.

People are weird. I sometimes feel like challenging them on their rudeness - pointless! I have no idea whether these people are 'shy', or just ignorant. I think there are always some people on everyone's street like this; blanking people may make them feel superior, I remember that feeling from when i was about 13?!

[oneopinionatedmother]

shy people can be born, or conditioned into shyness.

these days its seen as some kind of dysfunction rather than a character trait.

I think shyness can be charming, or annoying - really it depends whether you like them or not.

YABU |(but you know it)