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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to just sod trying to get 11m DS to sleep in the day and just drag him around with me until he conks out of his own accord?

15 replies

BintOfBohemia · 23/07/2009 09:26

We got him to sleep through about a month ago after 10 months of hell.

But the daytime is still a nightmare. He gets absolutely knackered, whiny, eyes rolling back in his head, so I follow his cues and put him to bed. I then spend half an hour or so waiting for him to settle, in and out every two minutes because he's got himself stood up and can't get back down again, before I give up and get him up. And he continues to be whiny and pissed off because he's knackered.

So do I just give up trying to get him to sleep? I can't spend so much time trying as I have an almost 3 year old who I am neglecting whilst trying to get the baby to sleep, and I'm getting really frustrated.

He will eventually go down after lunch if he hasn't slept since 6am, but only for an hour, and then he'll carry on until about 6pm when he conks out again. He really needs more sleep than this and I need some time to spend with DS1.

AIBU? What can I do?!

OP posts:

CyradisTheSeer · 23/07/2009 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

BintOfBohemia · 23/07/2009 09:35

It's just so bloody annoying, as I can't always co-incide going for a walk/drive with when he is tired, so if we have to be indoors when he's knackered he just rolls around being a horror.

DS1 used to have a 2 hour nap after lunch at this age - it was my salvation and I really wish DS2 would do this so I could have some scheduled time with DS1 and have a bit of structure in our day.

Also if we do go for a drive they tend to be short-ish, and then I have to wake him up ten minutes after he's gone to sleep, which pisses him off more.

Sigh...

OP posts:

stealthsquiggle · 23/07/2009 09:35

Carry on with life. I did with DD because I had no choice - DS had to be collected/dropped off, etc, and I had to get stuff done - DD only slept (or at least only went to sleep) in car seat or pushchair for a while (IIRC, around 11-18mths). I got skilled in transferring her from car seat to pushchair without waking - if we got home with her still asleep I would just park the pushchair somewhere quiet and leave her to it. Slightly later she reached a stage where, especially at weekends, she would announce that she wanted a sleep and would take herself off to sofa/bed.

Original poster

BintOfBohemia · 23/07/2009 09:42

I think that's the only thing for it. I will feel terrible though if he falls asleep and I have to wake him up five minutes afterwards.

Take now for example - we're trying to get a few things organised before we go out and he's flapping around like a dying swan and perpetually whining. I can't do anything about it and it's making me really annoyed! I gave him the opportunity to sleep and he wouldn't, bloody wish someone would give me the opportunity...

OP posts:

mrsdisorganised · 23/07/2009 09:49

Mine have all been chucked outside in their pushchairs, rain or shine, and even if it's only for 15 mins of them shouting (I had to reassure neighbours that I wasn't actually harming them!) I got important things done albeit very fast!
DD4 has been the worst and only sleeps well outside, have seen myself during the summer, putting her on the front doorstep in her pushchair as soon as the sun comes up, at least I get a (very) early coffee in peace!

Good luck.

Original poster

BintOfBohemia · 23/07/2009 09:55

This is why we need a garden! We only have a tiny grotty yard and the front door opens into the street so can't even do that!

OP posts:

Original poster

BintOfBohemia · 23/07/2009 10:02

Another irritating factor is that the double buggy I have doesn't fit through the front door - so if he falls asleep in that I have to take him out and put him somewhere indoors while I faff in the street collapsing it...

OP posts:

HuffwardlyRouge · 23/07/2009 10:07

YANBU. He might even get into the habit of sleeping in his pushchair. Even if it's not ideal for him, neither is being stuck at home ideral for you and your other dc. Parenting more than one is about compromise on everyone's part.

My ds (nsc) is not a great daytime napper and gets dragged around doing whatever we're doing. I kept him in his 1st stage carseat as long as possible so if he went to sleep in the car I could lift him out and balance him precariously on the pushchair to give him an extra 20 mins when we arrived somewhere.

Also, remember, like everything else it is a phase and it won't be long before his naps change or he needs more sleep or less sleep or to sleep at a different time.

CurryMaid · 23/07/2009 10:08

I do this with my 11 month old DD, if she's tired, she'll sleep. So liberating not stressing about having to put her down in her cot for a nap.

DD will often sleep for only an hour a day and is fine.

hairymelons · 23/07/2009 10:11

Not unreasonable at all. My son fights naps with all his might too, always has! He's 13mo now, will nap now if fed until completely out for the count then carefully transferred to cot. We have most success if we wait until he is absolutely exhausted, ie after lunch. Not ideal (esp. when tired and moany) but better than spending all morning in and out of his room!

Otherwise, it's round the block in the buggy then parked outside the back door until he wakes up. Any chance you could borrow/ get a second hand lightweight buggy that will fit through your door?

HuffwardlyRouge · 23/07/2009 10:15

Sorry, that took me aaaaaages to post.

Original poster

BintOfBohemia · 23/07/2009 10:24

Thank you. I feel a bit tight ignoring his cues , but to be honest, trying to get him to sleep is really winding me up. I think to give it up and say fuck it, do if you want, don't if you don't will be really liberating. I've got enough stress, and this is adding a lot to it.

I do have a single maclaren, but if we go on a long walk DS1 gets stroppy and refuses to walk all the way. Tried a buggy board but we all hated it and it tipped the buggy up!

It's tough - isn't it?!

OP posts:

Morloth · 23/07/2009 10:28

Just continue with your day, if you always have somewhere for him to lie down, i.e. at home his bed, out and about the carseat/buggy. Then he can crash out as and when needed.

DS was never a big day sleeper, just one nap in the afternoon from about 6 months and then that was gone by 10 months. He is up from 7am-7pm and has been pretty much since the 10month mark.

MrsTittleMouse · 23/07/2009 10:32

I ended up doing just that with DD1. I wouldn't have had a life otherwise, she was an awful sleeper. She gave up daytime naps altogether at about 16 months, so you might not being doing it for long anyway (not sure if that's good news or bad news!).

Do you have a single buggy too? We have a buggy board for DD1 and then if DD2 falls asleep I can leave her in the buggy to nap. Not that it helps much as DD2 is a power-napper and can go all day after 15 minutes, but that's another story...

PS Massive sympathy from me about the lack of sleep - it really does grind doesn't it? I wasn't too bad for the first 6 months of DD2's life as I expected it, but it really started to grind after that. DD2 is now nearly 10 months and I am at the end of my tether.

mustsleep · 23/07/2009 10:39

omg do you have my child?

ds has just started doing this, he used to be really good and would sleep through 7 till 7 and be put down easily for naps during the day but over the las month or so he's waking every night at 2 for a bottle and then waking at 6 and then will go for a sleep in the morning in his cot but in the afernoon when he is shattered like you say will just scream and scream and scream in his cot

I have had to start getting him to sleep in his buggy in the house for an hour or so on an afternoon as this is the only way I can get any piece lol

Hoping that it's just a phase but will be checking back here for any good tips

I'm thinking that once they can walk things may improve...or of course they could actually get worse lol

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