to be angry that I had a (rare) night out planned and can't go because dh is ill...

[heartinthecountry]

I really would appreciate some honest responses here.

Would you be cross if you hardly ever get to go out with girlfriends, maybe once every six months, and on the night that you have managed to get your (seperated) dh to come over and babysit, he is unwell and can't, so you have to cancel.

I'm not saying be angry with him necessarily, its not his fault. But would you be angry about the situation?

I need to know because when I got cross (ex) dh told me I was being victimy and that it wasn't normal to get cross about something like that.

And I need to know if it is normal. i think it is totally reasonable to be angry in that circumstance. But maybe I am deluded. Thoughts?

he would need to be seriously ill, like on deaths door before i'd let him off the hook babysitting

ERm, unless he has something highly infectious I'd be telling him to get his arse over or would he prefer my dropping the dc at his house.

Otherwise hire a babysitter but would not cancel.

I would be disappointed, but not angry. No-one's fault.

I'd be pissed off, but not angry.
We all get ill from time to time.

Does he have swine flu?

If not i'd be pissed off tbh.

How many times have you looked after your dc when you are ill FFS??

Aren't pissed off and angry the same?

I wasn't shouting the place down angry. Just a bit upset/annoyed.

I agree, disappointed but not angry.

Why do you only go out once every six months? Is he normally very good at having the dc?

It would depend...if he was genuinely ill, and he was one of those "he's never ill" people, then its something you have to let go..

If he is one of these people who is ALWYAS ill and you suspect its just a niggle and frankly he does this all the time, then I'd be narked.

There are some people in this world who ALWAYS seem to be "vaguely a bit ill" - I have little time for them...

YANBU. He should get his arse over and do what he promised. Presume it is evening babysitting? He can feel crap on your sofa with the kids in bed just as well as on his own? surely?

I think it would be normal to be angry. May not be wholly reasonable though - depends on how ill he is and whether you believe he is too ill to look after the kids.

i would be furious
i have to look after the kids all the time when I'm ill and the kids will be in bed wont they?

It's not so much that I am angry at him. He is pretty unwell (may be swine flu, who knows?). I'm just a bit frustrated by the situation.

There is no-one else who can babysit. My oldest dd has severe disabilities and epilepsy. No teenagers from down the road for us.

I guess that also explains why I don't go out very often.

I was looking forward to it, I can't go, and I feel a bit angry/pissed off/upset about that. Maybe I shouldn't be.

YANBU, it is completely normal to feel frustrated when something doesn't go to plan.

Especially when it's a rare night out at stake. make sure you get another one sorted out ASAP to make up for it.

Can you get the babysitting arrangement rescheduled? If he's happy to rearrange because you're being reasonable about it, he's really ill. If he huffs and puffs he's a PITA and you can get medieval on his ass. IMHO.