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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that this prize giving day was far to one sided.

60 replies

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 19:53

At the end of term at my daughters nursery, they have a prize giving day. All the parents are invited and it's a big thing for them all. Every child wins at least one certificate.
I just thought that this year it was quite unfair that one particula little girl got so many. She does seem to be the "golden girl" within the class. She won one for best manners, tennis, french, behaviour and music.
My little girl who has a severe speech disorder and has to try so much harder than the others only won one for improvement in maths. I was very proud of her, but her manners are also excellent and she absoluitly loves music.
It just seemed to me that they value achievement far more than endevour.

OP posts:

Thunderduck · 20/07/2009 19:54

Tennis? French? And this is a nursery?

rubyslippers · 20/07/2009 19:55

what did your DD win?

IsItMeOr · 20/07/2009 19:57

Did your DD notice? Because if not, I would let it go and have a lovely celebration of her fantastic achievement (Maths is way more important than tennis FGS).

cory · 20/07/2009 19:57

prizes for manners and tennis? what is this- a young ladies finishing school?

funtimewincies · 20/07/2009 19:58

Is this a nursery in the UK? Just wondering where they fit child-initiated play and learning into this scary regime ?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 19:59

Very true. She didn't notice at all, it's just me being, well, me.

I just want her efforts to be accnowledged, she needs her confidence boosting.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:00

cory- a bit of both I think.

OP posts:

Silver1 · 20/07/2009 20:00

Nursery prize giving I am all for rewarding achievement, but nursery is about paint and playdough
YANBU to be upset that one child shone at almost everything, I'd imagine most of the hurt children are as well. What did you expect though, you sent your child who struggles to a nursery that singles out children who shine

Thunderduck · 20/07/2009 20:01

I'm confused. Surely nursery age children don't study tennis, maths and French?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:02

Yes, it's in the U.K, it's attached to a school, so the nursery use the schools facilities.

OP posts:

preciouslillywhite · 20/07/2009 20:04

Blimey! tennis? good manners? french?? at nursery? It sounds like Malory Towers!

I work in a pre school (state)- all settings now, whether state or private, are supposed to be inclusive ie to value all children equally. This one sounds like it isn't trying very hard...in fact this looks downright mean. Of course endeavour should be rewarded, and your little girl should be encouraged.

This sort of thing is very bad for children-particularly when they're so young. They should all be getting the same number of certificates and the nursery staff should make up a new category for each child, imo.

I can't believe they did this. How awful!Poor you!

Thunderduck · 20/07/2009 20:05

I can't get over this. Tennis? At that age it's a miracle if they can resist the urge to beat each other over the head with the bats.

LunarSea · 20/07/2009 20:06

"All the parents are invited and it's a big thing for them all". Says a lot really - like it's more about how the parents see it, not about the children.

Personally I'd run a mile from anywhere which was publicly celebrating "improvement in maths", french and tennis in pre-schoolers. But then I love our lovely rural nursery, where they get to play outside, collect eggs from the nursery chickens, go for walks and jump in puddles, although I'm sure that a lot of people would probably hate the way the kids there get to get dirty so often.

KERALA1 · 20/07/2009 20:06

I think I would pick up my daughter and run for the hills. Prize giving and french at a nursery . Dear lord think of the years of this she had ahead of her, surely nursery is time for sliding down slides and painting?

Thunderduck · 20/07/2009 20:07

I'd run too. It sounds like an awful place.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:08

Silver1- she's been there since she was 2. We didn't know about her difficulties or just how severe they were untill recently. She has a lot of friends in her class, and the nursery have been very helpfull in getting her the right help.
They also play with paint and playdough. They learn maths through things like working out how many cups they need, buying and selling fruit etc. It's all done in a fun way, so they don't realise that they are learning.

OP posts:

funtimewincies · 20/07/2009 20:13

However much 'fun' they'll have you believe it is, it still sounds too much like formal learning for this age.

There again, I worry that we've not had good value for money if my ds comes home from nursery suspiciously clean !

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:13

It is acctually a lovely place. They have acres of land and woods, they go for teddy bears picknicks, plant seads and are out side a lot. They all have there own responsibilities, wich encourages confidence too. All the children are very happy and caring towards each other.

OP posts:

cakeisgood · 20/07/2009 20:14

if they don't realise what they are learning, then why would they want a certificate to show their achievements? I feel sorry for all those who didn't get multiple certificates, but a nursery that has a prize-giving ceremony is ludicrous!

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:16

My daughter comes out looking as if she's been dragged through a hedge most days but with a beaming smile on her face.
She chats all the way home saying "Guess what we did".

OP posts:

seeker · 20/07/2009 20:17

mummyloveslucy - I know you love this school, but every time you post about it I hate it more! I normally don't remember threads I've been involved in for more than 5 minutes, but I have an abiding memory of the way the head dealt with your dd wetting herself that time - it must be more than a year ago. Shake the dust of the place off your shoes and never look back.

notanumber · 20/07/2009 20:18

It's a tricky one. I teach (in a secondary school though) and occasionally there really are golden children who are outstanding at nearly everything.

It always seems wrong somehow to not award them a prize they've earned just because they've earned lots of others too. If they're the best, they're the best.

I agree though that awarding achievemnet over endeavour is a shame, especially at nursery.

Why can't they have two prizes for each category? An achievent prize and an effort prize.

Well done to your daughter for her Maths prize, btw. Good for her!

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:19

I think good manners is an important one, I'd love her to get that.
I think all little ones should be taught good manners. (I know most parents would agree)

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 20/07/2009 20:27

It's just that my daughter loves music, the last music teacher she had said to me that Lucy comes to life with music, she has a real passion for it. She said how good her rythem was and that she remembered words and tunes really well.
Since then, the music teacher left and it seems the new one hasn't noticed Lucy's passion for music.

OP posts:

bigchris · 20/07/2009 20:28

how old is she?

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