to think the number of rude, selfish people now completely outnumber the decent

[mypokerface]

I don't walk around on tenderhooks but I try to live my life so I cause as little offence to others. This is how I was brought up - to be polite and caring towards other people. This can be simple things, like helping someone with a buggy, holding the door open for someone, offering up my seat to an elderly person,keeping my music down late at night so I don't inconvenience my next door neighbours, and not mowing the lawn at 6 am on a sunday morning You get my drift.

Lately though I seem to live among people who are are jaw dropping inconsiderate. I've had doors shut in my face because people can't be bothered to hold them open for a fraction of a second, stood up to offer a pregnant woman my seat didn't get a word of thanks, had no sleep because my next door neighbours who live in a terrace are holding a series of parties in their garden with loud music until 3 am in the morning. Not to forget the people in cars who sit outside blasting their music out or revving their engines. There seems to be a complete disrespect for everyone else. Are people oblivious to their actions or do they simply not care?

I know I sound really preachy but this is getting me down. I've started to think I'm way to 'nice'. And they do say if you can't beat them...

YAsoNBU
Sad thing is though it is not just a London thing, people are getting worse, we have a massive under class culture and we except and find reasons to excuse rude, and selfish people.

Anyone complaining gets met with an ist

Move to Wales

Even the people who (quite reasonably) theoretically don't like being over-run by English incomers can't bring themselves to actually be mean to them in reality, at least around here.

But having said that I am always surprised when I go to London how nice & helpful people are on tubes etc.

I have actually seen quite good natured helpful people where I lived in London and where I live now in the midlands. Of course I have seen crap annoying behaviour but what annoys me the most at the moment is I have taught my DS1 who is nearly 4 to say excuse me if he needs to get past people or is in the way or if he needs to ask somebody something. Out and about he always says it to people if the occasion needs it and he always says it clearly. Never ever has any old biddy ever acknowledge his politeness or even taken notice and let him by if he asked politely to get by. Yet these same old biddys complain that young people today are rude and have no manners?!?!?!

I had the misfortune to travel on a Ryanair flight recently and was appalled at all the pushing and shoving. Have never understood this obsession to be off the plane first, surely a few minutes doesn't make any difference, you still have to go through security, passport control, luggage etc.

Anyway, got on the plane, put my hand luggage in the space above my seat, sat down and then realised hadn't got my magazine. Stood up, put bag on seat and as I was going through it to get magazine a man came running down the aisle from the back of the plane and put his piece of hand luggage in the space I'd had mine. to say I was gobsmacked is an understatement. I could not BELIEVE the sheer audacity. I of course had nowhere to put my handluggage and the air hostess eventually found a spot for it at the front of the plane.

Being a laid back person I didn't say a word but wish I'd taken his luggage and dumped it in the aisle for him to deal with...

Whilst heavily pregnant with DS1 I actually had a suited office type who looks like he would sit down at a desk all day, race me for the last seat in the carriage. Of course my waddle was no match for his stride. Luckily for me there was a used Metro just behind his head that had been left by another passenger so I reached past him shoved my bump right in his face and retrieved the Metro. I then stood in front him with my foot 'accidentally' kicking his due to the tube movement. Poetic justice meant that when a seat came up it was opposite him so when he stood to leave I was able to accidentally trip him, damn those narrow aisles.

Loving that passive aggression veggiemummy - am picturing suited office type spreadeagled on floor of train . I thought you might be going to bash him with the rolled up used Metro.

YABU

Socrates went on at length about 'the yoof of today'..that was in 400bc Greece!

people have always been inconsiderate tossers.

though quite alot of this stuff would totally get my goat too

Supermarkets have lots of initiatives in place to get staff to be polite to customers - though Boots, Marks & Spencers and some other big high street names are still culpably rubbish.

as a former shop manager seeing staff chat whilst i wait makes my blood boil! (though i know in the great scheme of things its not that bad...)

Human nature has always been the same. I find that the nice people outweigh the horrible ones. I treat everyone politely and often you get the same back.(you just have to ignore the ones who don't).

after coming back to mumsnet i beleive your question is 100% true.

It depends which threads you go on ChuppaChups-some need to be avoided at all costs!!

YABU

There are loads of nice people around.

As a born and bred Londoner I find the assumption that London is a rude and unfriendly place pretty offensive.

I have my own hosptial stories (in response to pp's). I spent two years on a ward with my dd. All the kids were terribly ill. All the parents were half demented with stress and worry.

In all that time I only remember 1 parent being objectionable. All the others, whatever their background were helpful, empathetic, kind and generous.

My neighbours and people I bearly knew were and still are kind and caring.

There are scummers round here but I refuse to believe in the Daily Mail view that this country is full of dangerous, selfish people and we should all be hiding away protecting whats ours.

But then, I am one of the 'them' they are protecting their's from.

I always find most people generally friendly but this took my breath away.

A boy of about 4 was playing on a water thing at our local playpark (quite a nice area of Edinburgh), 2 six-ish girls came and asked to play too (this water wheel thing takes about 4 kids to operate properly, he was on his own), the girls grandmother asked him nicely to let them join in. He told her to fuck off, a 4 year old to a 70 (?) year old - "fuck off". Then what's worse is the boys mother got off her mobile and marched over and started to shout at this poor old woman.

DP and I spluttered into our lattes feeling frightfully middle class (not that i think this a class problem) and hoping we weren't going to have to give statements/call the police! Thankfully the grandmother left with her GCs and that was it. I'm only glad DS (14mo) was oblivious.

I do still have faith in people, just perhaps not this area! It makes me feel quite sick.

interesting, DH and I were having this convo today after seeing some truly abominably bad driving - selfish, stupid, dangerous morons behind wheels.
And then watching some bored Yoofs wheelie-ing their track bikes down a seaside town high street (admittedly it was very quiet) and we have come to the conclusion that it is due to a total lack of respect. I truly believe it IS getting worse - you can't say anything to anyone now without risking abuse or worse; and teachers, policepeople, doctors/nurses etc. are all bearing the brunt of it.

DH's mum is a nurse - she says the type of visitors they get now are making her life a misery - no respect, no politeness, just treat the place like they are the only people in it and demand instant "service"; treat the staff like servants (or worse); and generally have no consideration for anyone else around them. And again, you can't say anything to them, oh no.

A bit of teaching of respect wouldn't go amiss - all this business of children demanding respect for themselves has got a bit out of hand. Sure they need to be respected as people, but that doesn't mean they should hold the balance of power - they're not kitted out for it yet! Responsibility is not a primary consideration for most Yoof (although there are exceptions of course) and they don't seem to understand that actions have consequences that might prove unpleasant (mostly cos they get away with so much!)

Ooh, am I ranting? Definitely turned into a GOW now.

I'm not sure people have changed but we are all, as a society, too many people chasing too few resources e.g. access to good schools, wanting to be seen quickly in the NHS, seats on trains etc. People are expected to work longer hours with no more pay, be the smiley face of corporatism... No wonder people are busting a blood vessel.

I was definately brought up to respect others but I've slipped lately. I used to spend my whole shopping trips yelling at my kids to 'get out of the way of the that lady', 'don't run around' 'don't touch' ...all for the benefit of other people. I realised nobody else does it so I don't bother now. I was always squeaky clean about rules, laws etc. but why bother when people sitting in the House of Commons couldn't give a shit. You have decent honourable men and women dying for this country in Afghanistan and yet the Government pay billions every year to financially support traffickers, drug adddicts, criminals, feckless people on sink estates... sorry I'm ranting now.

I still uphold values, and teach my children to put others first because I think it's the way of a civilised society but I can understand why there seems to be no respect any more - it should come from the top and it doesn't. Sadly.

I work in the nhs, and have seen a change in behaviour in the 15 yrs I've been qualified. years ago, at the end of visiting hours, we would ring a little bell ( probably banned now unless we've been on a course) and the visitors would file out. Nowadays, we often get abuse for asking people to leave. This is just one example, I could go on....

YABU - there are not more of them, they are just louder and more noticeable. They do get you down though!

Another example.... we go on courses to deal with agressive behaviour... "conflict resolution" the answer...they gave us personal alarms! I'm not talking about a high security prison of psychiatric setting, just our local general hospital.

I was walking down the street recently on the way home from work when it starting tipping it down and I was wearing flimsy summer clothes with no coat or umbrella.

Having had a really terrible day at work this was the last straw and as I walked along getting soaked to the skin I started crying (in my defence I was very hormonal and had only had about 4 hours of sleep the night before)

Out of one of the houses on the road a woman ran out despite the rain, gave me an umbrella and said "Don't worry bab, it'll all seem better once your're home".

Such kindness really cheered me up and I am trying to be on the lookout to do the same for someone else soon and pass it on!

I think decency is dying.
I work as a nanny and the amount of parents I've worked for who are frightfully rude, condescending and at time downright nasty to myself and other staff is staggering.
I was told by one mum she did not want me to insist on good manners from her children because they didn't have to be polite to 'someone like me' ie their staff.
Have worked for fab families too just to even that one up.
On a more general level I see it less and less in the community. If children do not see decency, humanity, compassion and empathy from the adults around them how on earth are they going to learn. I fear so much for this generation of children I care for. Heaven help the country. Selfishness and the whole 'me me me' culture has ever been thus is human nature as the early Greek philosophers did indeed write about and sadly I too get to that moment where I just think why should I bother but it's hard to go against the values and teaching I was brought up with and I for one will set a good example even if I'm the only one it sometimes seems

I think that the rude, selfish ones are just louder, there are still plenty of quiet, kind, unassuming ones around, just more difficult to find.
Rude adults will produce rude children-as shown by your examples Tavvy-you have to feel sorry for their children.

I was very rude earlier outside the Co-op. When I got back to my car with DS2 and DS3 (3 months) and all the shopping, I could not open the boot to get my stuff in because some old bugger had come along and parked his car illegally, touching mine at the back.

When he came back, I shouted "Idiot of the week award to you, mate!"

To which he replied "Well, you should have parked further up the road".

WTF??????

He is probably on Selfish Git Net complaining about me shouting at him as I type this.

Piscesmoon - I do. Hard when they are as horrible as the parents but it is not their fault and not much I can do except set a good example myself as I can't and don't undermine a parent to the child.
I think it's hard as well for all those parents who try so hard to teach their kids these things to have it undermined by everything and everyone around them it seems.
I got told my last two charges were 'old fashioned' because they said please and thank you without being prompted and spoke in proper sentences.
Please may I have instead of I want - that sort of thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in the park with one of my charges and we were waiting for a go on the swing and had been waiting with other children for a VERY long time. Eventually I dared say to the mums who'd been there for at least twenty five minutes that their were lots of other children who would like a turn and could we possibly swap. Was that the wrong thing to say. She went absolutely mad, screamed at me that HER CHILD would be on the swing for as long as HE wanted. (the playground was really busy)
Clearly sharing and taking turns is old fashioned and gone out with the ark too.
Even my charge said as we left. "That lady was very rude. It not nice to talk like that."
How true