to think the number of rude, selfish people now completely outnumber the decent

[mypokerface]

I don't walk around on tenderhooks but I try to live my life so I cause as little offence to others. This is how I was brought up - to be polite and caring towards other people. This can be simple things, like helping someone with a buggy, holding the door open for someone, offering up my seat to an elderly person,keeping my music down late at night so I don't inconvenience my next door neighbours, and not mowing the lawn at 6 am on a sunday morning You get my drift.

Lately though I seem to live among people who are are jaw dropping inconsiderate. I've had doors shut in my face because people can't be bothered to hold them open for a fraction of a second, stood up to offer a pregnant woman my seat didn't get a word of thanks, had no sleep because my next door neighbours who live in a terrace are holding a series of parties in their garden with loud music until 3 am in the morning. Not to forget the people in cars who sit outside blasting their music out or revving their engines. There seems to be a complete disrespect for everyone else. Are people oblivious to their actions or do they simply not care?

I know I sound really preachy but this is getting me down. I've started to think I'm way to 'nice'. And they do say if you can't beat them...

I was waiting for a tube last week. As the train drew up the doors opened and I was about to get on only to be barged aside by a bloke in a suit who had come charging down the platform. Stood aghast as I saw the reason he'd pushed me out the way - there was a spare seat on the train... Was fuming, I don't tend to sit on the tube anyway (only going a few stops) so he would have been welcome to the seat there was no need to push me....

I also think teenagers are generally pretty nice. Some of them are loud on the bus for sure (however I am still young enough to remember being loud myself) but most of them will say hello and excuse me and it has been mostly teenagers who have helped me when I had the buggy/heavy bags/DS to carry or what have you.

I completly agree - although unfortunately it isnt just the "dregs of society" that seem to have been taken over by the rude selfish disease.

Manners is my personal bug-bear at the moment, not amongst strangers, people that I expect no better from, but friends, people who class themselves as "middleclass educated" folk.

For example - we have been to 5 weddings/enagagement parties in the past 3 years... each time we have stupidly graciously handed over present/cash - usually between £30 and £50 each time.. AND NOT ONCE HAVE WE RECIEVED A THANK YOU CARD OR EVEN A FRIKKING TEXT!!! It is driving me mad - these people are supposed to be friends but they have the manners of a common house brick - socially fucking inept. Its basic manners - you receive a present, people spend £100's coming to your shitty wedding - a thank you card popped in the post that costs about 50p inc a stamp... ARGHHHHHHHH

YANBU I agree. People seem so selfish and materialist these days.

geordieminx I've actually started to wonder whether people give out thankyou cards anymore. We went to 2 weddings last year, spent a lot of time and thought selecting a gift and didn't even get a thankyou.

DD went to a friend's birthday party last month and again, I shelled out money and time on what I thought was a really lovely gift. Haven't heard a peep! I saw the girls mother at nursery and thanked her for dd invite to the party, expecting her to say 'well thanks for my dd present' but nothing! I still plan to send out thankyou cards though when my dd has a party. Presuming they still sell the things...

It drives me mad!

I send thank you cards for all of the stuff that ds gets at xmas and birthdays, unless they have been handed over personally, he has unwrapped it there and then and said thanks... although always to grandparents.

Children however seem to be nice these days. I went to a playground yesterday, had a buggy. A child aged around 7 was coming out of the playground and he held the gate open for me. I said "thank you" and he gave a smile.

No YANBU, you are being completely reasonable. I Live in London and these are some of the things that happen on a DAILY basis:

The pavement is narrow, I see someone coming towards me with a buggy, walking in twos etc and I stand to the side to give them room to pass and they walk past without even looking in my direction, let alone saying Thank you.

Give up seat on bus = no acknowledgement or thanks

Weighed down with shopping and DC on bus = ignored.

First in line at the bus stop, but end up getting on last.

Ca't get off the bus because people getting on won't wait.

Say good morning to people and blanked in return.

Groups of kids force me to walk around them or in the road because they won't move out the way.

People play their ipods so loudly I hear their music.

People leave their car alarms blaring because they can't be bothered to turn them off.

Angry customers swear their heads off in the shop despite the presence of children in the shop too.

HATE IT when I go to visit friends and they spend most of their time on their mobiles/phones. When people come to mine and the phone rings I keep the conversation brief because I have visitors

Shop staff are having a good old chin-wag while i'm waiting to be served.

I try to teach the DC good maners but wonder if it means they will just be walked over and have doors reboundiig in their faces, when they open doors for people they often get no thank you either.

Thanks for the thread, feel much better after ranting.

Whereabouts in London do you live 2kidzandi?

I think there are a lot of rude people about, but there are a lot of lovely people too. Sometimes it does feel like the bad outweight the good though.

My mum always says if those of us who can shine a light, don't, the dark will stay dark.

I often find myself thinking of that when I am holding a door or giving up a seat etc. If you smile at someone in the street, or hold a door for them you may well get a rude or ignorant response, alternatively, you may just have made someone else's day and they will in turn go on to do the same for someone else - knock on effect = more light.

Its corny, but true.

outweigh

Love it moosemama.

Totally agree with you moosemama - I try to do that. Find that carrying around small (usually) smiley child in carrier often starts a polite conversation with older ladies that I have been told makes their day.

Maybe it is that I am spending a lot more time wandering the streets these days, but I have been impressed with the youngsters I've seen. Lovely young people jumping up to open the door when I'm struggling to do it with the pram.

Mind, I would also caution anyone against calling a new mum stupid, as I found myself berating a workman who did that to me recently. He looked sheepish then went and hid! Does that make me rude, or just understandably frazzled?

2kidzandi - as a Londoner, I would have to amend your list to "People play their ipods so loudly I hear their music over my own" I try to tell myself it's kind of amusing.

We can only encourage our children to consider other people. From a very early age I have been repeating to my dd 'Think about what you do and how it affects other people'.
That and ' Always include, not exclude'.

There's a name for this though isn't there? Misanthropy.

Chances are if you live in a city, you will be surrounded by misanthropists and will be one yourself.

Maybe we are just reaching to limit of peoples capacity to live in large numbers together. There was bound to be a limit.

I think you have to assert yourself - but I am always be scrupulously polite, calm and unconfrontational.

I always preface my observations with "I am sure you don't realise.." or "I am sure you didn't mean to".. then I state their "crimes", and how they affect other people. Then I politely ask them to do what I want( eg turn down the music / turn off their engines etc).

9 times out of 10 it works. These people aren't evil, they just don't have the habit of thinking of anyone apart from themselves.

In the remaining 1 out 10 cases, I console myself with how awful it must be to be them..

We went to Bigbury beach today and dumped all our coats & wellies then dived into the sea (yes it was cold), tide rapidly coming in

We came back and couldn't see our stuff anywhere

Some kind soul had moved it to the rocks so it wouldn't get wet and put a rock on top of it all to stop it being blown away

so thank you if you are reading this

I refuse to believe that the selfish outnumber the good until I absolutely have to, which I'm far from needing to do at the moment.

Admittedly I probably do live in a bit of a bubble but here there is a strong sense of community, people look out for each other old and young, when you walk down the street people smile even if you don't know them, the local paper often has letters thanking strangers who stopped and help them when they fell over, to thank whoever handed in their wallet.

I live in a big city and find if I smile at people I have a day of much more friendly responses but on my days of a face-like-a-slapped-arse I find everyone is as rude as me.

YANBU. You see it all the time. People can be so rude and there is a big attitude of 'me, me, me', people need to be first or most important or most prioritised. Try getting a Ryanair flight (first example that came to me asides the ones mentioned below) and you see rudeness and desperation first hand. Desperate to get on the plane first, desperate to get off first.

I was on a flight recently (not Ryanair) and two friends were sitting behind us with one man in the aisle seat next to my friends. Within 5 minutes he had the stewardess up and he was demanding that the pilot put the heating on because he was freezing and how disgusting it was that he had to freeze. My friend was like 'well 300 other people on the flight are completely fine, why are you so important'. The man then proceeded to hassle the stewardess for the remainder of the flight, sat with his jacket and a scarf on to make some major point (I mean, come on FFS) and moaned and moaned to my friends all the way, the food is crap, the tea is crap, the drinks are expensive, the film is crap, the stewardesses are crap, etc etc etc. Then of course, as soon as we landed, he was up out of his chair like a rat up a drainpipe, getting his bag and shoving his way to get off first banging into people with babies etc. We waited till everyone was off the plane, casually grabbed our bags and the miserable sod was still waiting for his suitcase by the time we got to the arrivals lounge......did we laugh!!!!

Some people just think that they are the only ones in a less than desirable position and forget that loads of other people feel exactly the same but don't make everyone else miserable by banging on about it. Grrrr, makes me mad!

I think companies like Ryanair who put a price tag on everyday courtesies make matters worse.

There was an elderly man with obvious problems (he couldn't control his arms), a couple with A tiny babY left in waiting in the queue for ages while young people without a care in the world sauntered on.

It was shameful but because they had paid for "speedy boarding", so it was all OK.

I live in a place which is a bit of a God's Waiting Room and the old people are INCREDIBLY rude! Far ruder than the teenagers in my experience, especially to anyone pushing a buggy (tut tut) or holding hands with a toddler. And if they have to wait 2 minutes in the supermarket to get served they all kick up a fuss - but they're retired - what else are they doing all day?!

YANBU, I do agree that there is some startlingly inconsiderate behavior which seems to be becoming more noticeable.

I agree, the majority of people where I live are vinegar faced unhappy buggers, I am ignored constanly, I have taken to being especially nice just to annoy the grumpy buggers.