to think the number of rude, selfish people now completely outnumber the decent

[mypokerface]

I don't walk around on tenderhooks but I try to live my life so I cause as little offence to others. This is how I was brought up - to be polite and caring towards other people. This can be simple things, like helping someone with a buggy, holding the door open for someone, offering up my seat to an elderly person,keeping my music down late at night so I don't inconvenience my next door neighbours, and not mowing the lawn at 6 am on a sunday morning You get my drift.

Lately though I seem to live among people who are are jaw dropping inconsiderate. I've had doors shut in my face because people can't be bothered to hold them open for a fraction of a second, stood up to offer a pregnant woman my seat didn't get a word of thanks, had no sleep because my next door neighbours who live in a terrace are holding a series of parties in their garden with loud music until 3 am in the morning. Not to forget the people in cars who sit outside blasting their music out or revving their engines. There seems to be a complete disrespect for everyone else. Are people oblivious to their actions or do they simply not care?

I know I sound really preachy but this is getting me down. I've started to think I'm way to 'nice'. And they do say if you can't beat them...

The only time I think this is when I'm on a train. I think people who travel on trains are generally shits. I would just liek to thank every one of the miserable fuckers who has not offered a seat to me when I'm stood up trying to breastfeed my baby and giving tuts at the amount of boob you can see. If you can see my boob, you can see me so get off oyur arse and offer me your damn seat

YABU. I think that there are a lot of really kind decent nice people out there. And I live in London too. And often I have found it is the last person I have expected to do something kind/polite/above and beyond has been the one that has done it.

Yeah, there are the dog shit purveyors, spitters, awful types, but I genuinely don't think they outnumber the decent.

No they don't. IME.

The lovely (but sometimes overstressed and rushed) kind easily overwhelm the other kind. It usually takes a friendly approach to bring out the incipent human.

my neighbours are the worst with there double standards. my family is very quiet but occasionally if the weather is nice(very occasionaly) we get the pool out dcs invite friends round for a pool party. they were all laughing and having fun when neighbour complained. as there dcs have grown all i hear is shouting and screaming from 7 in morning to 9 at night often having to listen to the los being beaten as well. it makes me so mad that we have been so respectful, would never let dcs in garden until ten on a sunday so everyone can have lie in, would never shout at dcs. but i let my dcs have loud fun, not feral like it sounds next door, for one day and they complain!

grumblin - I'm not usually like that, or at least I wasn't pre-los when I had uninterrupted sleep and wasn't trying to make sure that we could all get off the train with the same number of cups, toys, clothes (and children) as we boarded with.

All I know about the guy who posted my wallet back is that he was Craig from the Isle of Man, and hats off to him. Oddly, I didn't care about the cash/cards/other material stuff when I thought they were lost, but the old photos and wee notes from years ago stuffed in the back that were irreplaceable. Now I keep them at home, just in case ...

I still think that nice people outnumber the shits - although sometimes it can feel the other way around, that's for sure. It's because the behaviour is so appalling that we notice it, and that polite, ordinary behaviour goes unnoticed because it's so normal. Try a wee experiment - next time you're in town or in a shopping centre, do a quick head count - out of a 100 or so, you may get less than 5 who are acting like twunts. They are definitely in the minority, but their behaviour affects and spoils things for the majority.

Does anyone else have to really fight the urge sometimes to just give these idiots a good doing (as they say round these parts)?? I don't condone violence at all, but sometimes, just sometimes....

Nooo
the good definitely outweigh the bad.
Just the bad stick in our heads

Not always healthcare settings either. When I went in in labour this time dh dropped me at the door to go and park. I was having contractions every couple of minutes and of the four times I stopped on my way to delivery each time someone asked me if I was ok, asked if I needed a hand, offered to get me a wheelchair...

Railway station 1 in the morning. Arrive 20 mins early so not packed up etc. Only one other couple of train. Try and grab my stuff together and put baby in sling. Told not to be silly as they each take one of my heavy bags (wont take no) and I am left to carry just a light bag and my baby up the platform. Maybe the fact that I had spoken to the people on the train earlier in the journey and had been nice and polite meant that I was then treated well myself. (Not quite karma as this is a case of a deliberate reflection of behaviour)

I also think that ho you treat others helps determine how you will be treated. Smile and be polite and mot people will be nice and polite back.

Dh and I once got off a train with 2 dcs (one was a small baby) and a load of bags plus pram. We were sitting with 4 older ladies. When we got off I was carrying only my handbag and dh had the pram.

The lovely ladies just grabbed the bags, one took the baby in a very grandmotherly, kind way, and another helped dd1 to climb down. While we were waiting on the platform some teenage girls (2 of whom had learning disabilities) entertained the dcs and kept them occupied.

Yup, we got delayed on a flight once, long story short we were in a tube station with 2 very tired kids, one buggy, loads of bags, a wooden oven, and no down escalator AT ALL. I honestly nearly cried. We were stopped at the top just staring at it when a whole gang of tatted up, arse hanging out of jeans, skater boys just swooped upon us, grabbing all the stuff and carried it all down, and put us on the tube, whilst maintaining cheery convo with dc the whole time.

MartinB I bet you wanted to find out who their mothers were so you could tell them what fabulous ds's they had.

yes, exactly. wouldn't be surprised if they imprinted skater-boys = superheroes on my dd's impressionable little brain.

Since I first started dragging round a disabled child some 5 years ago, I have come to appreciate how many wonderfully kind and helpful people there are in the world.

And I have also become an awful lot better at looking around for other people and spotting when they might need a hand.

i have to agree. i mean did you see the way FAQ refused to come an extra 2 miles so we could have the xmas meet up within crawling distance of my house?

its just so rude.

A few days ago, DD (3 years old) saw a man drop a £5.00 note. She ran up to him and handed it back, and he said, 'thank you for being kind. Please keep it...'

What an unbelievable great first lesson in honesty

It is nice when people surprise you though. I remember being on a train and there was a man in a wheelchair. They had obviously pre-arranged it all as they had a ramp to get him on and off the train and someone there to help him off the train.

When they stopped at the man's stop though the only way off the platform was flights of steps. The member of staff just shrugged and started to fold the ramp back up.

A big group of neddy/chavvy looking lads on the platform carried the wheelchair with the man in it up the steps without being asked. it was lovely.

i coulnd't believe how disabled unfirendly the platform was or the member of staff's attitude though.

I'm often helped [with my pushchair] by young men at stations. Ahh the yoof of today... aren't they lovely

The world has gone to pot.
A young girl cut me up on the corner of our road, she lives in our road, anyway I looked in horror as she nearly hit my car and she gives me the V sign. I would normal tut and drive off but she has her mother sat in the passenger seat. That really really shocked me, however I may or may not have behaved on my own I would never have let my mother see me do something like that.

I think that Bronze is right - the good do outweigh the bad, but perhaps the inconsiderate behaviour is getting worse (ie, noise is louder and/or later, pushing on trains is more aggressive) so it seems much worse than before.

I also hope my sons grow up to be the sort of people who will carry buggies or wheelchairs or luggage and will cheer up children on trains/stations etc.

I still remember the wonderful lad who saw me, MIL and ds1 in his buggy approaching a set of doors into a shopping mall in Southampton. He was right at the other end of the bank of doors to us, but ran across on purpose to open the door for us.

another wallet story - My DP left his wallet on the roof of his car . It fell off on the motorway ONTO another car's windscreen.

It had cash and cards in it and a few of his business cards.

The person whose car it hit just pulled over, picked it up and drove 45 mins back to my house to return it.

I think the selfish ones have probably always outnumbered the altruists but between us we manage to muddle through!

I keep reading thread titles wrong recently - was convinced OP said nude and selfish

I was in town with my DS' earlier and there was a little girl (about 5yo) on her own in the street crying. Loads of people looked at her and just carried on walking . I stayed with her until a friend of her mum's turned up, then her mum appeared from a shop over the road. It made me really sad to think that if one of my DS' got separated from me in town that nobody would help him to find me

don't know lollipop probably but they were well over 50 had paid at least £40 ( I think) for a ticket and well it was a sedate concert in Kew gardens

I agree with whoever it was said maybe the bad is getting more in your face/obvious maybe some of us just see more bad around us too

washer I hope/expect they were 'afraid' of offering to help I know that pre-dcs I would have been more wary of talking to them but agree it is worrying especially if poor lad was crying

I think you have probably just had a bad run of it mypokerface.

I still think that most people are decent.

I cannot remember the amount of times people have held the door open for me in the last month, but I can remember the time I held the door open for a man and he didn't take it from me - just walked through it whilst I stood there with no word of thanks.

I teach at a comprehensive school - the vast majority of the pupils are polite and well behaved. When out in the town though, people do seem to notice the 'bad behaviour' a lot more though. My husband came back from the local fuel station once and declared that our son was NOT going to that school - he had to go to private school! Apparently, a couple of girls in there were quite rude to the attendant and went to the local comp (that I teach at). , so the entire school had suddendly become a breeding ground for bad manners. Thankfully, I know how far that is from the truth!

Keep on hold of your values mypokerface.

I have also been aghast at the inconsiderate behaviour of some people. I do all the things you do Pokerface and will continue to do so but sadly some people only think about themselves. However I have also met lots of lovely people so am hoping the good do outweigh the bad. I always find I meet lots of rude uns all at once in the space of a couple of days which makes it seem a lot worse.

Some of my examples are waiting aside in a busy aisle at Tesco for a lady to pass through . She waltzed straight past without a smile or a thanks so I said to her "Yes, you are very welcome". She turned back and snarled "Well I had been waiting for ages to come through" so I sadid "Yes and it was ME who let you through so a thanks would be polite wouldn't it". I kept seeing her in every aisle after that and she kept her head down slightly shamefaced.

Oh and my old neighbour who decided to drill holes in his bedroom wall at 5.50am when he knew damn well we had a 3 year old and that our bed was next to that particular wall. DP banged on the wall which put a stop to it but after that the neighbour never spoke to us again and glared at us whenever he saw us. WTF? He was completetly in the wrong yet he refuses to speak to us?

Lovely examples of people are the couple who saw me age 15 on the last train looking frightened at the drunk man screaming and trying to break one of the doors down. They came and sat with me then insisted on me getting off 2 stops earlier with them so they could drive miles out of their way to ensure I got home safely rather than having to stay on the train with scary drunk man.

And DP saw a man last year very upset carrying a huge limp german shepard in his arms. DP stopped and it turned out his dog had run into the road after a rabbit, been run down and the car had just driven off. DP drove the man to the nearest vets which was closed so he drove him to our vets who saw the dog immediately. The vet said if the dog hadn't been seen so quick he would have dies. The man was tearfully grateful and wanted to pay DP which he refused which makes him rather lovely too The man said he had lost count of the amount of cars who has just driven on

I quite like Londoners. Where I live people are quite nice and I very rarely run into the sort of behaviour that people talk about on here. I might just be lucky - or possibly oblivious.

Australians are grumpier on average than English people, but there are less of us so we don't have to rub along together quite so much. When everyone is packed in like sardines you either get people flipping out or something like Japanese culture where people are extremely careful and structured in order for it all to work.

Agree that you don't notice "good" behaviour because it is so common, but loud annoying behaviour stands out. Better than the other way around I think.