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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask friend to send food with her child, as i am looking after him quite allot over the summer hols?

22 replies

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 09:59

He is THE most fussiest eater and i jsut cannot cater for him.
He actually dislikes EVERY single food stuff in the world and only eats food that she has made because no one makes it like she does. (she is very proud of this)

I get really stressed when he comes to the house because i have to shop and make stuff around what he wants/likes/dislikes.
We would just have sandwiches at lunch time but he doesnt like them if they have crusts on, and does not like any fillings that i offer him......

OP posts:

belgo · 18/07/2009 10:01

YANBU. Just ask her to send his sandwiches with him so he has something that he likes to eat.

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:01

ooh just re read the title, you do know that i dont MIND feeding him, thats not the issue, its his likes/dislikes that i strugle with....

OP posts:

moopymoo · 18/07/2009 10:01

yanbu. is she paying you to look after him whilst at work or is it a playdate? Unless children have allergies, I do not pander to them at this house - they eat what we eat. I would tell her that you willoffer him what you are having, or she will have to send stuff.

nannynick · 18/07/2009 10:05

Sure, ask your friend to make him up a packed lunch which he WILL eat.
It's not as if she is paying you to care for him. If you had to do special shopping for him then that would be an inconvenience to you plus also an added cost. Your friend surely won't mind making him up a packed lunch... would she?

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:06

no! not paying, just favour. She is a great lady. Got him and some other kids allot over the summer. Its company for ds (an only) althoug this boy is 11, and ds is only 6...and the boy wont play with him...he palys on those ds thingies all day

He wanted to simantle my telly last time he came to put on a computer game thingy, he brought it all in a big bag with wires galore!
said no because its the only telly and he would tie it up all day and none of the other kids could watch dvds or telly.

Thats a whole other thread tho!

OP posts:

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:07

dismantle, no simantle!

OP posts:

Knickers0nMaHead · 18/07/2009 10:14

i would tell him he eats what you all eat or he goes hungry. Unless he has alergies then its whats in front of him or nothing.

FranSanDisco · 18/07/2009 10:15

Yanbu! I was just thinking yesterday about these fussy eaters who come to play and won't eat anything offered. The little girl who came yesterday was a delight as she said yes to everything . At one playdate I made 4 separate meal combinations and vowed never again. I don't offer choices to my dc's so don't know why I pandered to the guests.

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:16

no allergies, but i dont want to make him feel uncomfortable or make an issue about it.
Even though it makes me quite cross because i do actually think that he would like stuff, but she panders to him.
Still cant pick out his own clothes and has to have her cut up his food for him..he goes to senior school in Septemebr.
PLB i think

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 18/07/2009 10:22

I am awful at eating things - such a lot that I don't like, and my ds1 is similar although he has more varied tastes than me.

I hate it when people try to cater specifically for me, I would rather just eat something of whats on offer than have them make something specially.
And my son knows that he eats whats on offer or he doesn't eat.

I wouldn't want to send separate food for my son, and I would make my son (who is 6) aware that he ate what was on offer or he didn't eat.

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:24

ahh thats what i want to avoid chasingsquirrels. I really dont want him to feel uncomfortable, but then i am worried that he is hungry becuase he wont eat anything i offer, every suggestion is "no, i dont like that".

OP posts:

FranSanDisco · 18/07/2009 10:24

She's not really doing him any favours is she?

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 18/07/2009 10:24

Good Lord so you are looking after an 11yr, who actually isn't any company for your 6 yr old, who tries to dismantle your house, hogs all your sons toys and will not eat what you put in front of him? And you are not being paid....

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:25

no she isnt, not at all.
I worry about how he will get on in senior school, he is a very "sensitive soul".

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 18/07/2009 10:26

you probably need to talk her her, but I wouldn't be continually offering lots of choices.

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:27

He doesnt hog all of ds's toys, he plays constantly on his "DS", we dont own anything like that in our house, so he brings his own.

His mother and i are very good, very old friends and i love her. I am helping her out while she and her dh work through the summer hols. She helps me out sometimes too when i work.

OP posts:

Original poster

sunburntats · 18/07/2009 10:28

LOL when you put it like that.....

OP posts:

shootfromthehip · 18/07/2009 10:33

YANBU, sounds like hard work!

cory · 18/07/2009 10:46

ds has a friend who gets very anxious about the unfamiliar, so his mum suggested herself that he takes his own food; I was quite grateful for that; it was put very tactfully (not criticism of my cooking, just explaining his anxieties) and I'd rather have a happy child round the house than one who is not

southeastastra · 18/07/2009 10:49

i remember going round my aunties (who baby sat me alot) with a little frozen meat pastie every day

5Foot5 · 18/07/2009 11:02

"I really dont want him to feel uncomfortable, but then i am worried that he is hungry becuase he wont eat anything i offer,"

Surely if he gets hungry enough he will eat it in the end.

Sorry if that sounds hard hearted but he is 11!!!

Your friend is definitely doing him no favours pandering to him like this and honestly, rather than asking her to send him a special lunch, it would be far better for him to get used to the idea that food is on the table and he either eats that or nothing at all. If he is going to be with you a lot then he might actually get used to that arrangement and give the food a try.

citronella · 18/07/2009 11:18

of course YANBU!

How about him having a packed lunch prepared from home and you could do a 'packed' lunch for your ds and they can have picnics. Or he gets offered whatever it is you have made and if he won't have it he can always eat his own. If he doesn't want that then too bad.

At 11 he should be able to handle that and it shouldn't reflect at all on your friendship. Your house your rules and all that. Your friend and her son should accept that.

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