To not consider the "good" catholic school for DS?

[MsWhite]

I am a strict athiest and so is my son.

DP and his DD are also athiest but in order to get her into a good secondary school, he had her baptised, took her to sunday school for the last year of primary and got "in" with the rev. who then wrote to the school (strict catholic) and recommended her a place there for the september.

She got in and has obviously since stopped with the sunday school lark.

Now my DS is due to start secondary and in teh catchment is a good state school. We will be putting that as first preference but DP wants us to put teh catholic school as second (with DSD being there, he'll most definately get in).

But I don't agree with putting him in a school that is obsessed with religion. Plus, RE is compulsary there all the way through to 6th form which IMO is a waste of education time. PLUS he'd have to do all the mass and church stuff which he'd hate.

But it is a good school.

Am I being unreasonable to not consider it?

RE is compulsory up to and inc. GCSE IIRC but agree that it would be a waste of an Alevel in many universities' eyes.

If he's strongly atheist then I think both you and he will just have to bite your tongues about all the religious malarky if the school is really that much better than the competition.

Surely as you live in the catchment of a good alternative the issue is unlikely to arise?

What is your alternative 2nd choice?

YANBU.You don't want him to go there ,there is another good secondary and you would be taking the place of a child who DOES want a catholic education

If you don't put it 2nd what would your 2nd choice be if he didn't get his 1st choice? Is it so bad that 6 years of Catholicism is preferable? Also in our area siblings have to be baptised etc so don't get priority - do you know if he would definitely get in?

Well, I wouldn't consider it unless all the other schools were awful by comparison. In that case my child would not get in anyway, because I would refuse to have them baptised and pretend to worship anyway. I'm a good atheist and try not to lie
So, I guess I would go private or move in that case!

YANBU

I went to Catholic schools and whilst we studied RE GCSE we didn't have to do RE A-Level, I would be surprised if they made them do that tbh.
We did have an hour every week (which would normally have been a study period) where we discussed and debated things like Euthanasia, torture, the death penalty etc, which came in strangely useful for General Studies A-Level (which we didn't have any set lessons for, just sat the exam) and was actually very thought provoking.
It's up to you, I suppose you have to balance your religious views with what school will provide the best education and environment for your son.
DS1 is at Catholic primary school and it is far more religious than any of my schools were. In secondary school we just had the odd mass on feast days etc, didn't interfere with our education in the slightest.

I think if you are 'strict' atheist then you should not consider a catholic education for your child - otherwise your stand against religion is a shallow crock of shit

signed

a former convent turned atheist.

YANBU.

My DH had cause to visit an RC secondary school and was gobsmacked by part of a physics lesson being consumed by prayers.

Just as a matter of curiosity, if a child is sent to a faith secondary school by its parents, and then - as they become old enough to really know their own minds - rejects that faith themselves, can they opt out of the church stuff? [not the RE - nowt wrong if it is RE (education) and not RI (instruction)]

YANBU. Stick to your principles and don't waste so much of his educational time. Poor boy might end up all guilt-ridden and conflicted about the opposite sex. Wouldn't wish that on any adolescent male.

correction: a former convent GIRL turned atheist

YABV and I admire your integrity.

So DP would like to teach his daughter that it's okay to trample over the beliefs of others and lie to get what you want?

YANBU. But I think the poster who asks what your 2nd choice would therefore be is onto something. If you have a possible alternative in mind when you talk to DP might it help to have a more positive discussion?