to have bought my first packet of cigarettes to drink with some Baileys in the daytime as a secret Vs up to my dh?

[HoneyDue]

I am rebelling because my dh does not care for me so I'm secretly smoking and drinking as a form of rebellion against him.

You said that you did consultancy work before. Is there anyway you could start doing that kind of work freelance?

You sound about twelelve, or completely nuts from your OP, but you're clearly neither. Can you not do your consultancy work freelance? We all have problems covering childcare during illness, school holidays etc, but we manage. So please don't trot out that old chestnut as an excuse for not getting a job!

Sorry, that wasn't meant to sound as flippant as it did. My stomach is a mess from operations, and my muscles are fucked, so I know where you're coming from there.

Yes I do sound twelve but it is a backlash from wanting desperately to rebel but within the confines of being a good mum (I have not been drunk for 8 yrs)and not bankrupting us.

It might sound minor having a tipple and cig mid morning but it's pretty hardcore for me