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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious my DD1's friends parent cut chewing gum out of her hair and didn't tell us?

78 replies

MamaHarman3 · 14/07/2009 10:43

My darling DD1 went to her friends sister's birthday party on Saturday and this morning I discovered she'd had a piece of her hair cut to remove chewing gum she'd got stuck. We don't allow her to have gum at home as this has happened before with hair and carpet however I appreciate she was at a party and wasn't going to decline the offer. It turns out she'd put the gum behind her ear (!?!?) and then the inevitable happened. She said they tried to remove it but couldn't so cut it out.

Nobody told us and when putting her hair up for school today I noticed this short piece by her ear.

As the story unfolded, her Dad and I became more and more furious that someone had cut our childs hair without our knowledge or permission and that she'd not told us, claiming she'd forgotten.

She's meant to be going to their house after school but we've put a stop to that and now need to broach the subject with them.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
oranges · 14/07/2009 10:46

a leetle bit - if they hadn't cut it, wouldn't you have to do it at home anyway? It is just hair, it will grow back, and its not as if they hacked all of it off. Maybe suggest they don't give her gum again, as that seems to be the problem.

whyOwhy · 14/07/2009 10:46

YABVU

oranges · 14/07/2009 10:46

are you also sure that dd1 and her friend didn't just cut the hair off themselves, and not tell any adults?

IKnowWhoYouAre · 14/07/2009 10:47

Agree they should have mentioned it to you, but they probably forgot in the excitement of the party. Mistakes happen, they made a mistake.

Reasonable to be a bit miffed, but your anger sounds a bit OTT. Would have preferred that they'd left it there?

sameagain · 14/07/2009 10:47

YABU. OK, they probably should have mentioned it you, but at the end of their DDs party they probably had lots to think about/were exhausted. What would you have done differently if it had happened to a child at your DD's party? (with a sweet say, if you don't allow gum) How old are the children?

middymo · 14/07/2009 10:47

YABU, it will grow.

Although at having chewing gum at a party anyway.

LovelyRitaMeterMaid · 14/07/2009 10:49

I think you are being unreasonable. If you didn't notice it until you were putting her hair up, it can't have been that much.

I think you are pro ably more annoyed about the chewing gum in general, which is fair enough.

GypsyMoth · 14/07/2009 10:49

why get 'furious'?? It's no biggie in the grand scheme of things is it?!! Calm down

flamingobingo · 14/07/2009 10:51

How old is your DD?

At the moment I think YABU and a bit PFB too!

TrinityRhino · 14/07/2009 10:51

wow huge overreaction

YABVU

the adult in loco parentis of your child just took proper care of her for you is all

ComeOVeneer · 14/07/2009 10:52

A bit of an over reaction I'm afraid. Although I agree with the bit about not giving children gum in the first place. Not really something to get "furious" about IMO.

Fimbo · 14/07/2009 10:53

I think the parents should have told you. My dd is 11 and we still don't get the proper story about things. We get her version of what she thinks happened and that is not always correct.

I do remember once though being raging when dd came home from playing at a friends and was chewing on gum and had been allowed out to play in the park by the girls house by themselves. (they were 7 at the time).

TrinityRhino · 14/07/2009 10:53

what exactly would you have preffered the mum to do?

seeker · 14/07/2009 10:54

What were they supposed to do - leave her covered in chewing gum?

You are being unreasonable - and precious.

Unless it turns out that your child has an incredibly rare condition that means that cutting her hair causes her to lose her strength and she will have to spend the summer holidays in bed recovering?

TrinityRhino · 14/07/2009 10:54

what on earth are you going to say

you are in serious danger of looking like a loon

why have you stopped her going to her friends house?

how old are the children?

TrinityRhino · 14/07/2009 10:55

lol seeker

ingles2 · 14/07/2009 10:55

er... yes YABU.
What do you think the parents should have done?
sent her home with gum stuck in her hair?
I bet your dd was getting panicky about it being there, so they probably felt they had no choice.
yes, they should have mentioned it, but probably forgot, it's really no big deal is it?
and why didn't your dd mention it to you anyway? How old is she?

Fimbo · 14/07/2009 10:57

If this happened on Saturday and you only noticed today then her hair cannot be that bad surely or you would have realised a bit had been cut before today?

crazylizzy · 14/07/2009 10:58

YABU however the parents should have said something. No need to kick up a fuss about it though with them, to be fair, they did handle the situation. I think with chewing gum, once it's in there good and proper, cutting the hair is the only option.

foofi · 14/07/2009 11:01

YABU - although depending on the age of your child, they could have perhaps mentioned it to you.

TrinityRhino · 14/07/2009 11:01

I really would like to know

what would you have done with the gum in hair?

what did you expect the other mum to do?

why are you furious?

why are you going to broach it with them?

why cant she go to her friends house?

Original poster
MamaHarman3 · 14/07/2009 11:01

Fair enough, thanks for all of your comments. My DD1 is 8 and I also have an 18 month DS and 4 month DS who has given me a few bad nights sleep so appreciate an over reaction on my part.

Sameagain - I've been thinking about this all morning and would like to think I'd try and contact them but definitely wouldn't forget to tell the parents.

DD should have also told us so that didn't help with my response.

OP posts:
BottySpottom · 14/07/2009 11:01

If they'd left it in, more hair might have become stuck to it (you might have had to but the whole lot off). YABU - but I'd be cross that they were given chewing gum in the first place.

OrmIrian · 14/07/2009 11:01

YABU. What would you have wanted them to do. If they had left it it would have got worse.

GorgonsGin · 14/07/2009 11:02

YABU. Over reaction.

It will grow back. What were they supposed to do leave gum in her hair it became even more matted and more hair needed cut? I hate chewing gum (makes me coem over all funny, in fact) but it's a tiny strand of hair by the sounds of it. Might it be a lesson to your daughter that sticking chewing gum behind her ear is a bad idea?