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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish MIL would stop going on about dd's blue eyes?

71 replies

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 13/07/2009 15:49

Dh and I both have dark hair and dark eyes. Ds has dark (ish - will probably get darker as he gets older) hair and dark eyes, and is the spitting image of his father, only more handsome, obviously.

Dd OTOH is a reddish blonde with blue eyes. She is utterly gorgeous (but then I would say that) but looks nothing like me or dh. Which, you know, is fine. But MIL is obsessed with her eye colour and keeps saying stuff like, "Ooh, if she keeps that colouring she'll be a stunner!" WTF? She'll be a stunner anyway you mad cow! Stop banging on about it, it doesn't matter what colour her eyes are!

I suppose I would be less irate if she'd said it once but she says it Every Fucking Time we see her (about twice a month). It's wearing, to say the least.

OP posts:
TheChilliMooseIsaMalingerer · 13/07/2009 16:02

How old is your DD? Most babies have blue eyes until they are about a year old anyway.

bubblagirl · 13/07/2009 16:04

my dp parents do this with ds as all children in there family are dark haired dark eyes his the first blue eyed boy its complimentary annoying but no harm is meant

RenagadeMum · 13/07/2009 16:04

Just think of all the annoying things you are going to say about your grandchildren one day. Maybe this is the one that she chose all those years ago.

I'm personally going to choose to comment on their bonny thighs one day, just to piss my children in law off!

Fennel · 13/07/2009 16:04

My MIL, every time I've seen her for several years now. looks doubtfully at my children and says "I don't envy you". [hmmm]

They're not THAT bad.

I think I'd prefer some eye adoration.

bubblagirl · 13/07/2009 16:05

i always had the she'll be a heart breaker comment for as long as i can remember from grandparents i was fair hair blue/green eyes and i was lol

MaggieBeeBeau · 13/07/2009 16:11

Hmmm, my MIL bit odd on this subject too!

My Mil is black and her son mixed race (black/white). Her grandchildren have blue eyes and she's a bit weird about it. At first, it was like she wanted to do dna test, and then when she found out it was all kosher, she started acting like it was some kind of golden ticket to success. We've had the heart breaker comments too. I had a peak at the colour of eyes in my dc1's class. The only child with brown eyes is adopted from Taiwan. So I reckon she'll be the one with the heart-breaker eyes!!

ILYM · 13/07/2009 16:11

It never stops unfortunately. My Dd1 is now 17,was born with light hair & blue eyes - I have light hair/blue eyes, my Dh has dark hair/brown eyes. I felt that everyone thought Dd1 was not Dh's as I was constantly told that brown eyes were def the more dominant. Dd2 was born 3yrs after Dd1 with light hair/blue eyes!!

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 13/07/2009 16:11

She's only 5 months, but her eyes have changed from the baby sort of navy blue to a really bright blue!

Here is my ds, with the dark eyes. Here is my dd, with the blue eyes.

Ok, you've got me. It was really just a longwinded way of showing off my dc.

OP posts:
Gateau · 13/07/2009 16:11

YABVU.
It's hardly the biggest cross to bear, particularly as you only see her twice a month!
Face it, she could say a lot worse. She's just ever so proud of her granddaughter; give her a break. Everything she does must irritate you if this does.

TheChilliMooseIsaMalingerer · 13/07/2009 16:13

Your DS is so cute! How old is he?

MaggieBeeBeau · 13/07/2009 16:13

ILYM, I had to suppress the urge to give near-strangers a Bb dominant/recessive gene biology lesson.

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 13/07/2009 16:14

Gateau - I've got a lot better where she's concerned over the past few months. It's not the fact that she says it, per se, it's the fact that she says it Every Time we see her.

Actually, we are wondering if she has early onset Alzeimers, which would make me VVVVVVU, obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 13/07/2009 16:15

ChilliMoose - he's 2.6

OP posts:
stillstanding · 13/07/2009 16:18

She's admiring your DC - how lovely (and how vu you are being)

Gateau · 13/07/2009 16:19

I guess MILs can just be irritating; mine can. She has this BOOMING voice that goes through you makes you jump and is quite lazy.
I bet if your own Mum said this it wouldn't really bother you.

JoesMummy09 · 13/07/2009 16:22

YANBU to find it irritating, but YABU if you think it's a big deal.

My mother too is very irritating. She grabs hold of DS, wont let anyone else hold him and has just started making speeches about how gorgous he is in a really high pitched baby voice. Using slightly random words. Over and over and over. Like eclectic, unscrutible. Very odd.

I just ignore her. And be thankful we don't have a dog as all that high pitched whining would drive it mad.

It is a cross but just a little one. At least she's around and interested.

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 13/07/2009 16:28

You are absolutely right, I probably wouldn't find it as irritating if my mum did it. Not that she would, because i'd tell her to stop bloody going on about it!

I don't think it's a big deal. I just wondered if anyone else thought my children are as cute as i think they are i was being Unreasonable.

OP posts:
spicemonster · 13/07/2009 16:29

I have blue eyes as do both my parents and my siblings. And my mother still goes on about my DS's eyes being very blue. I think it's something to say (if a little wearing). So I think YABU but given your washing up wrangles, it's not entirely surprising.

Wallace · 13/07/2009 16:32

Your children are both exceedingly stunning, but...

since when did you have a baby?

I knew you were pregnant, but you fell pregnant only the other day, surely?

FairLadyRantALot · 13/07/2009 16:37

lol at you thinking your MIL is the mad cow....

Original poster
TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 13/07/2009 16:47

She was born end of Feb, Wallace. I think Flamey posted a thread about it at the time!

OP posts:
babyignoramus · 13/07/2009 18:28

YANBU- let's say my maiden name was Smith and my married surname is Jones. DH's Grandpa keeps banging on 'oh DS has got lovely Jones eyes. All us Joneses have lovely blue eyes. You get them from your Great Grandpa don't you? Cootchy cootchy coo etc.' Umm, hello? I have blue eyes too, in fact so does pretty much every Smith! It's not a bad thing, just irritating.

LilianGish · 13/07/2009 18:34

If that's the most irritating thing she does I'd be grateful frankly!

Heated · 13/07/2009 18:44

My ILs say about dd2 "Oh, she is getting pretty now" which irritates me, because a) they clearly thought she wasn't (ds1 was a very cute baby) and b) she is judged worthy now, on her looks.

Your MIL just thinks your dd is the bees knees; if it wasn't her eyes (which are stunningly gorgeous btw) it would be something else.

Flibbertyjibbet · 13/07/2009 18:55

Don't worry about it. Its just the first of a lifetime of comments about your childrens phases and development that your mil will go on about../

He is the image of his daddy
Are you still only giving him milk?
Haven't you weaned that child yet?
Ooo I bet he is going to like his solids.
Haven't you toilet trained him yet, his dad was dry day and night at 2 weeks.
Isn't he walking yet his cousin is already training for the olympics.
Can't he spell his name yet his cousin can write her own.
Can't he read yet his cousin is halfway through war and peace.

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