To not want to have a cozy chat with the telesales guy?

[Wonderstuff]

'Could I speak to Wonderstuff?'
'Speaking'
'I'm calling on behalf of Mothercare...How are you today'
'Fine' {like he gives a toss}
'What have you been up to today?'
'I don't want a chat, if you are going to flog something get on with it'
'No need to be like that, I'm just trying to be polite..'

FGS
I don't mind being called by telesales, I have done the job, we all need to make a living, I try to be polite, but I really don't want a cozy chat with a total stranger who calls me to flog accident insurance, and I don't want someone to try to make me feel bad for not taking part in said chat. I also get irritated with with shop assistants asking me how I am, I realise this is less reasonable on my part and better that than sulkily ignore you I guess.

I really wish we could go back to more formal times when people addressed you as Mrs X and didn't attempt to get all matey with you immediatley.

YANBU. I have just hung up on a sales call. Drives me nuts.

YANBU, it is fine up to a point, being asked how you are is polite and an automatic gesture to most, but to ask what you are up to? No, I just don't get why they think people have the time or inclination to engage in a full length conversation with a stranger selling you something.

YANBU. And I like your response to him. After his last line, I'd be tempted to say, "it's generally not polite to start quizzing complete strangers on what they've been doing all day, so really, I don't think my reaction was rude at all."

It drives me crazy. DH and I have argued about this in the past where he thinks that I have to be nice because they're "trying to be nice" and my response is always, "why do I have to put up with their inappropriate [apologies to the "inappropriate" thread] behaviour while restricting my own."

I hate these blinkin calls which we still get even though we are ex directory and on telephone preference service.

Also and this makes me feel about 95, I hate the fact they call you by your first name. I don't know them, they are trying to sell me stuff, the absolute least they could do is show a little respect rather than establish a phoney rapport.

However having said all that you were a bit short. I imagine that anyone doing this job doesn't have a lot of other options else why would they do it. So as soon as I establish the nature of the call I either tell them I have telephone preference and they shouldn't be calling me, or v v fast go "No thank you, thanks for your time, not interested, Thank you" actually sometimes whilst they are still talking so probably passively agressibely rude.

What about when your bank calls you up? You start out being polite and responsive because you assume that they're phoning with a specific request. But after five different questions about how your day is and how work is going, you realise they just want to flog you something in addition to what you've already got. That drives me absolutely mental.

They do it in M&S too. I spotted a sign behind the counter where they are meant to make a positive comment about your choice of shopping. Nice if its spontaneous and generous, but if its not, then I'd rather queue for less time and get my stuff bagged in silence, thank you very much. Hate false bonhomie, grr.

I'm amazed that this chatty approach works. I did some telesales stuff many years ago, when I was calling you were uber polite, got straight to the point, tried to overcome objections but it was a numbers game so you got onto the next person if they weren't interested, didn't fanny about finding out about peoples day. They only time I would object would be if people shouted and swore.

My telephone manner has steadily gone downhill over the years because of this.
Next time it happens im tempted to reply to their faux-friendly enquiry about my day with tears and sobbing and then proceed the tell them at length how crap my day is being!

YABU. He is just trying to do a job. There is no need to be rude.

The thing with that as well rookie is if you are on your own, swapping pleasentries is fine but sometimes you are having a chat with someone you are with and you don't want to be rude but you just aren't interested.

I work at ELC and we are told to make postive comments about customers choices, but any sales asst with common sense wouldnt do it if the customer is talking to someone they are with!

I gave up and got a phone with caller ID on it last month. It's great now - if I don't recognise the number, I just let it go to answer phone. Genuine callers leave a message, telesales don't bother.

TPS seems to do bugger all and I was fed up with being a one-woman warrior trying to report each and every infringement.

rookie - i had no idea about M&S doing that, I thought they meant it when they said stuff like that

Anyway OP - he's doing his job they are told to say that stuff and can get in serious trouble ie displinary if they don't.

I wasn't so annoyed with him, though I really don't think I was being rude, more annoyed with whoever wrote the script/ general move towards overly friendly sales techniques.

I was accosted by some bloke in the shopping centre last week who literally blocked my exit from WHS to try and get me engaged in conversation/sales pitch for those fucking HIDEOUS faux Victoriana 'put your baby in a mop cap on a miniature Chesterfield' photo shoots.
Man-hello,what lovely children
Me-Thank you-excuse me(trying to push pram around him)
Man-have you thought of having them photographed professionally?
Me-No.
Man-now brandishing photo album of work WHat do you say to these?Don't you wish you had some of your children like these?
Me-No,Can you move so I can get out please? Now?
Man-Aw come on, they are going to look beautiful-this is very popular-special offer etc.
Me-as it happens i think the photos are vile so if you'll move i'll be on my way..
Man-In your opinion-a lot of people like them
Me-As it is my house and my children you are trying to foist this tat on then my opinion does count so can you DO ONE and let me out..

Seriously-he was up there with the twat who approached when dd1 was lay kicking and screaming on the floor at my feet having massive tantrum and who said 'hi,how are you?' so i said 'i am not interested' to which he piped up with 'i haven't said anything interesting yet' *to which i replied with an expletive unfit to repeat on a messageboard'
i hate them, and yes, i have done the job...

pmsl at stretford! Totally with you all, in fact have just sent one packing via the phone as am telephone preference reg'd (means nothing, apparently). Think caller ID is the way forward- OP YANBU.

Lovebeingamummy, I was upset too when I found out as before I genuninely thought they were commenting on my excellent taste, now I don't believe a word that a sales person says which is very unfortunate because its not their fault at all.

Sleepless thats a very funny description.

and there I was thinking the M & S staff were genuine about commenting about my choices

Bet the tooth fairy is on commission too, right

Not only did ~I have to comment positively on their purchases at a café chain, I had to tell every customer I served something helpful about the store (like where the sugar or loos were) if a mystery shopper saw you not doing it you failed so you had to say it - even though most of our customers came in everyday - they know where the bloody sugar is. It's right next to them. ARGH.

YANBU. But feel pity for the poor bloke being forced to say it.

Oh gosh I feel like the child who announced that Santa didn't exist.

I'm sure that all the good folks at M&S loved your purchases and you all have fabulous taste and thats all I'm saying on the matter.

at rookiemater

Depends what they're commenting on - my emergency sports bra purchase is one I'm happy to avoid positive feedback about!

Santa doesn't exist?????!!!!

M&S how could you???

Gap seem to have stopped doing it now, thank goodness, but you used to get a Spanish Inquisition about whether you had been 'helped' today. You were actually asked to try and point out the 'helpful ones' (who had hounded you round the shop / been unable to locate a pair of jeans vast enough to fit over your arse) gah. I was always very tempted to say something like 'that really irritating bint over there in the size 8 jeans'.

Picking up on what OhBling said about the bank calling - I hate it when they call you and try to make polite conversation, then ask you for identifying information (the stuff that you are never supposed to give over the phone in case of identity theft).

And then they get shirty because you refuse to give a cold caller your personal info - which I guess means they can't do their sales pitch on you.

I ask them to identify themselves, then say well how do I know that you are telling the truth, then they say that of course they are, when I point out that an identity thief would most likely say the same, they tend to whine that of course they are not and I say to either send me the info (can't do that madam - using paper, against policy, bad for the environment ) or tell me anyway and they won't do that either as I could be anybody.

grrrrr. argghhh. sorry, slightly off topic!