To tell my FIL his car stinks of smoke?

[mama01]

MIL and FIL usually pick DS (7mo) up from childminders once a week - not for my convenience - just so they can spend time with him. They also have him maybe once at weekends.

My FIL smokes; outside at his house and in his car when MIL isn't in it. MIL doesn't drive.

I got a lift from him a few weeks ago for the first time and the car reeks of smoke, strands of tobacco littering the bit near the handbrake etc. I felt I couldn't say anything. But I've just realised my DS will be out of his baby carrier seat soon (it's our seat they use) and into the larger seat which is permenently fixed into the rear of their car (they have another GS who uses it once a blue moon). I really don't fancy my DS sitting in a chair that's going to be really smokey, even though TBH he's not on long journey's with them.

What do I do? AIBU to tell them to clean the seat and then take it out and only put it in when they pick him up? (this will be impossible - neither of them know how to fix it in!)

I think I'm just narked that my FIL smokes full stop.

personally i wouldnt allow my dd into a smoky car, its gross.
i'd drop her off there.

It's not really your business that your FIL smokes or to be 'narked' about it (but you know that of course.) And I'd think it very rude to tell him his car stinks of smoke too.

However, it's absolutely your right not to have your DS travel in a car you consider unhealthy, and as you point out, the arrangement is not for your own convenience, so I'd try to find some tactful way, or even truthful way if you can put it more politely than the topic title, of saying that DS won't be travelling in it any more - 'until he's older' maybe.

Thanks Applesinmypocket - yes, I would phrase it a bit more politely! More than happy to be truthful though - maybe offer to wash the seat before DS starts using it.

At least that will make him think about it, he's of the generation that thinks second/third hand smoke is that much of a problem.

Nyanbu