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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be slightly peed off at lack of birthday present from dh?

12 replies

pigsinmud · 12/07/2009 20:15

Ok. It was my birthday a week ago and dh was working. To be honest he has been working like mad for a few months. He kept saying he didn't have time to get me anything and he usually doesn't get much, but I'm very much it's the thought that counts type of person.

Anyway he got nothing and I've had nothing. Today, I've come down with revolting cold and am now feeling rather annoyed that I got nothing - dh is still working. He did however have time during the week and even last Saturday as he had a rehearsal in the afternoon and then 2 hours before gig and I know he was in a town centre! - he just doesn't think.

We've never been into extravagant presents, but I would have liked a little something. He announced his mother is coming for her birthday in a few weeks and I now have to make cake and say Happy Birthday to her ten times in the day and do what she wants to do - this has irritated me big time!

I'm being unreasonable aren't I?

OP posts:

nickytwotimes · 12/07/2009 20:17

Yanbu.
I am not 'big' on adult birthdays, but it takes 5 miniutes to order a wee gift from Amazon or similar and have it delivered to you.

'Not thinking' is rotten.

wrinklytum · 12/07/2009 20:19

Yanbu.

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 12/07/2009 20:19

NOT U AT ALL!!!!!

I have crucified DH on my birthday for a lot less! You should be treated like a queen on your birthday every year till the last one!

MrsHappy · 12/07/2009 20:21

Er, no you are not.
You are right that it is the thought that counts, but what you describe sounds like thoughtlessness and I would be pissed off. It is not unreasonable to expect some acknowledgement of your birthday.

ninedragons · 12/07/2009 20:21

Not in the slightest.

And I certainly wouldn't be making my MIL a cake or buying her any thoughtful gifts on his behalf, either.

Original poster

pigsinmud · 12/07/2009 20:21

I think he thinks - If I keep saying I've got no time it shows I'm thinking about it, but I really can't be bothered to actually think of a present!

I know he's been busy, so I feel like a spoilt child If I seem grumpy about it!

OP posts:

rookiemater · 12/07/2009 20:23

YANBU at all, but just tell him you are upset and you would like a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolate for goodness sake. It doesn't sound like he did it deliberately and stewing over it for a week is a bit precious. Plus if you are silently seething, then how does he know he has messed up and not to do it again.

Re his mother, get him to buy or make a cake, didn't go to any effort for you so its the least he can do.

brimfull · 12/07/2009 20:23

yanbu
my dh didn't get me anything and I was fuming and hurt

he got the message

wrinklytum · 12/07/2009 20:28

hmm,so he forgets YOUR birthday,you,the mother of his children and probably the person with whom he has a life,house,children etc,and I bet you do his washing and cooking abnd cleaning etc,but he expects YOU to bake a cake etc for his mum?I live with muso(when hes well enough) mummy's boy and feck me I put my foot down when he askled me to sort out his mums anniversary pressie when I was working etc and he was doing feck all.Tell him to sort it out,and get you a present as well.He is being a selfish arse.(Empathetic emoticon)

Original poster

pigsinmud · 12/07/2009 20:54

I don't think I've been seething all week - I'm just feeling sorry for myself today as I feel ill, plus the announcement yesterday of having to entertain his mother on her birthday and she is so annoying on "her day". She constantly tells us that we have to do what she wants all day as it's "her day". Bah humbug.

OP posts:

rookiemater · 12/07/2009 21:02

How about when your MIL arrives announce that DH was working on your birthday therefore you are going to have a joint birthday celebration for MIL and yourself.

At the very least it will wind her up

I'm sorry you don't feel well, but in the grand scheme of things forgetting your birthday is not good, but if in other respects he is a good husband, then it shouldn't be huge either.

Personally I find it a bit precious when grown ups get all special about their birthday. Tell your Dh to sort something out she wants to do, maybe he could take her out on his own for a special mother son treat.

Original poster

pigsinmud · 12/07/2009 21:08

You are right rookiemater. I don't want to be seen as precious! He is wonderful, but I'm not making mil a cake this year .... the last time I did that she didn't speak to us for 6 months ..... on the other hand...

Nothing to do with the cake I promise!

OP posts:

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