To cringe at this article (free natural birth)

[boogiewoogie]

I couldn't help but feel but also sad when I read this article.

For a start, whilst sexual intercourse is often a necessary prerequisite although not always for birth to take place, giving birth itself is not a sexual experience!

She also says that a free birth is an open celebration of love and understanding but surely there are other ways and isn't having a child that has been conceived through love a celebration itself?

At the end she says that she has a fantastic relationship with this child and that it is different from her first therefor implying that her relationship with the first is inferior.

Am I also being naive in thinking that birth plans do not always go as planned? Okay, perhaps some of this is probably sour grapes but I am happy with the natural births that I had as they required little assistance.

The birth of course should be a pleasant experience and whilst it is nice to hear that she has had an amazing experience given her first birth, I just feel that a lot of women already feel stigmatised for having C sections and that articles such as this puts a lot of pressure on mothers to have a certain type of birth amongst other things to be a "model parent" whatever that may be.

God this thread got very nasty and i'm really suprised at why.

I can understand fully people being at freebirthing but having a go about her kids names, her lifestyle choice and her relationship with her dd are crazy, some of the posters on this thread come accross as very jealous. Why should you be seen as smug because you share your positive experiences.Its only smug if you think everyone should have done it the same as you and nowhere in this article do i get that impression.

I have a different relationship with my dd because of her birth, i love her no more or no less than my ds but i have sat and cried over her because of how little i loved her after she was born compared to the overwhelming love i felt for my ds straight after his birth.

"Despite being categorised as a high risk pregnancy (gestational diabetes plus other issues), I chose to have my baby at home. I didn't do it to have an 'enjoyable' birth - but because I was scared to go into hospital (because of a previous bad experience) and even with my risk issues felt both my baby and I were safer at home.

Was I irresponsible do you think? "

Yes. Next question.

I still standby what I say that telling the world that she has a fantastic relationship with her second daughter which is different from the relationship with her first which in itself implies the relationship with her first daughter isn't fantastic.

"I have a different relationship with my dd because of her birth, i love her no more or no less than my ds but i have sat and cried over her because of how little i loved her after she was born compared to the overwhelming love i felt for my ds straight after his birth."

And if you wrote a piece in a national newspaper that your dd could read saying that your relationship now was so much better with your ds than your dd then I would think you were selfish too.

Saying that bonding was affected is one thing. Having an ongoing different relationship that you put down to the birth is another- yes it happens, and yes woman should be able to talk about it and access help/support for it, but to shout it out it via a medium that the affected child will one day read and comprehend is selfish and cruel. There's nothing wrong with her feelings about her dd- they're the way she feels, so be it, but she really didn't need to broadcast them.

People who claim to have had an orgasmic birth? Hmmmmmm- I take their claims with a big pinch of salt. Amazing- no doubt- orgasmic. Come on! I can understand why they may feel a release or relief though.

I think that for the sake of her older daughter she should just enjoy her birth experiences and keep quiet about them-except to close friends in private, and never in front of the DDs.
Since her relationship is 'fantastic' with the younger she could leave her with her DH or grandparents and do a lot with the older one on her own and work at the relationship and make her feel special.

I'm glad this women had a good birth but I do think its quite irresponsable not to have a midwife present, even just standing by in the next room in case her medical knowledge is needed. After all a very high percentage of women used to die in childbirth before properly trained midwifes.

Ridiculous! I blame the NCT me...

I would have more sympathy if she had had a bit at the end about Aurora being invited in as soon as the baby was born to get to know her new sister-she wasn't mentioned -she seemed a very self centred woman to me.

TBH I can understand why some women are choosing free birth. Very often they have a shite experience in a hospital with a MW/doc who is just an idiot. A lot of hospital procedures inhibit the birthing process - shift changes, harsh lighting, disrespectful staff, scary medieval type equipment, blah, blah, blah.

However, she has been lucky. I wish her the best of luck with her next free-birth. If something does go wrong her family could b epaying a huge price.

FWIW the thought of that lotus gubbins regarding the placenta makes me feel physically unwell. Seriously, at least other mammals eat it, not wander around for a week with a piece of rotting flesh attached to themselves. [boak]

Well the upside of the rotting flesh thing is that the in-laws might decide not to visit.

free-birthing is incredibly dangerous and a lot of women and/or babies die due to complications. It seems a bit of a slap in the face to all those women who are denied or can't afford medical/mid wife attention in the world when giving birth and thus lose children to opt out of assisted birth. This article may make it sound divine but the tragic loss of life that could have been avoided had a professional experienced birther been around seems wasteful.