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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is INCREDIBLY rude?!

102 replies

Disenchanted3 · 11/07/2009 11:47

I was walking round a carboot this morning DH was at a stall buying crap so I walked on with DD,

2 rather portly women walked up to mea and one handed me a leaflet and the converstaion folled as such ...

Her : "Hello, can I interest you in joing my weight loss programme?"

Me -

Her - "Don't look so offended, we are trying to help you"

Me - -

Her - just staring at me.

I handed the leaflet back and said "Thanks, made me feel great about myself today'

Her " cheer up, why don't you smile, you have a beautiful daughter"

and she walks away.

I won't lie, I filled up, I was feeling pretty good this morning, I'd put a dress on for the first time in a while and it was sunny, I was happy until she came over, then had the cheek to say 'cheer up!'

DH was fuming when he found out why I was upset,

AIBU to think that weigh loss services are sought out by people who want to loose weight and people should not 'target' people they percieve as overweight and offer them this service??

OP posts:

dietstartstomorrow · 11/07/2009 14:33

YANBU

I would have been too, how flipping dare she!

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 11/07/2009 14:36

I would have said no thank you, looking at you it clearly does not work

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 11/07/2009 14:41

I know it's difficult but I really really wouldn't take this to heart I bet they were targeting MOST women as a lot of women do think they need to lose weight and of course the aim of their weight loss programme will actually be to make money.

Ripeberry · 11/07/2009 14:41

I've that in a small shopping center. Some blokes trying to sell a Dental plan. Now my teeth are not Hollywood teeth but they are still mine..lol
I passed one of them and he started the 'blurb' and i just said 'no thank you' and then he has the cheek to carry on and say, they can fix the rabbit teeth.
I just saw red and went straight back to him and got his details and reported him to his superiors.

thumbwitch · 11/07/2009 14:48

Losing weight and the choice to lose weight is something that is very personal - and people shoving leaflets at you is not going to help! Either their targets are going to be upset and offended (as you rightly were) that they have been selected as targets, or they are going to take the paper and shove it in the nearest bin. It might work as a marketing strategy for a minute proportion of the population but I would think it would fail for 90%+.

for you - very insensitive (although probably not incredibly rude)

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 11/07/2009 15:01

I'd have said to her:
'Do you know how long it's taken me and how much it has cost me financially to get to this beautiful size and shape? I've worked on this for a long time and you have the cheek to try to get me to change? Not on your life! My mEn would be devastated'!

And I'd have been loud about it too!

Bloody cheek of the woman.

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 11/07/2009 15:05

Sorry, just seen that you have had a baby recently Dis. Ignore the studid womans insensitivity, she's clearly a moron.

moondog · 11/07/2009 15:08

Why is having kids an excuse for being fat?

It does sound a bit blunt, but it may just be the thing you need to motivate you to lose the lard eh?

UnquietDad · 11/07/2009 15:09

I don't think the Diet Coke thing is intended that way. I get asked it in pubs and I am a lanky streak. I think they ask everyone.

gorionine · 11/07/2009 15:18

Moondog, you certainly know how to lift someone who is already down spirit, well done you

moondog · 11/07/2009 15:19

What ,because I don't subscribe to the view that being fat is okay?? Because it isn't and you are all just kidding yourselves that it is.

gorionine · 11/07/2009 15:24

The post was not about thinking fat is ok, it was about not being made to feel awful by somoene you do not even know and has no idea of your circumstances.

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 11/07/2009 15:27

Because I've been pregnant 3 times in the last five years mondog and pregnancy naturally makes you gain weight.

So that why I feel Im OK at the moment, Im not some dumb Hollywood fuckwit, Im a real mother with 3 kids to look after, no money for a load of surgery (or the inclination) and my baby is still TINY. Why the hell should I bust my ass to make myself look good for OTHER people when right now my priority is sorting my kids and homelife out?!

OP posts:

moondog · 11/07/2009 15:28

Well, if you feel fine about who you are and what you look like, that is all that matters.

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 11/07/2009 15:30

No, but it is extremely difficult to lose weight for a lot of women after having babies. If everyone left the delivery room in their size 10 jeans, most slimming groups would never exist in the first place!

Being overweight isn't what most people want for themselves, but with a 6 month old baby, I find it a bit odd that that would be seen as a failing for Dis or anyone else tbh!

My SIL has lost around 12 stones and still wants to lose about another 6. She doesn't want to be overweight, but having to take certain medications mean she has no control over it. There are many reasons for being big. It doesn't mean people can be rude to you to make you lose weight.

TheLibrarianIsNotAMonkey · 11/07/2009 15:30

Moondog - you are a tedious idiot. I'd rather be fat than you.

Disenchanted - I would have been v.upset too. Don't be upset, if the best job they can get is harrassing people at a bootsale to subscribe to their clearly (if they are an example of it) crap weightloss system you shouldn't care at all what they think

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 11/07/2009 15:34

No Moondog, Im not happy to be overweight, but right now I don't give a toss because like I said, MY BABY is my priority and I don't succome to this ridiculous 'hello / heat magazine' generated bollocks that a woman has to be back to her pre pregnancy size 30 seconds after she pushes out the placenta.

Its fucking ridiculous.

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 11/07/2009 15:37

Dis - I would have been upset too. Please try to hang on to the feeling you had this morning.

Perfectgangofthree · 11/07/2009 15:38

"Moondog - you are a tedious idiot" - she certainly is!

Disenchanted - ignore women who try to make you feel bad about yourself, including the tiresome bitches on MN.

LilRedWG · 11/07/2009 15:38

Obviously - the feeling you had before this stupid thoughtless woman spoke to you.

gorionine · 11/07/2009 15:39

You know moodog, not managing to loose weight fast and be happy with your size are two very different things.

After DD1 was born, we moved away from all my friends because of Dh's work and I have no family in this country. I felt so lonely with just a baby to keep me company (dh was working shifts and would sleep while I was awake and vice versa) I put on 6 stones in as many months and belive me it is taking a bit longer to get rid of the excess than it was to put it on. I do think most overweight people are aware they have work to do to loose the weight but they/we certainly not need to be told it rudely by passers by.

Lovesdogsandcats · 11/07/2009 15:44

Moondog, No, YOU think its not ok to be fat. Don't speak for everyone.

I would also rather be fat than be you, you sound like a grumpy, narrow minded, tunnel-visioned, drip fed, sheep-like Heat reader tbh.

moondog · 11/07/2009 15:44

As I said, some people want to convince themselves that being fat is okay. It doesn't excuse rudeness obviously but really, ladies, let's stop facing up to facts.

Being fat ruins your health and prevents you living life to the full.

MIAonline · 11/07/2009 15:50

being fat can ruin your health and can prevent you living life to the full.For many, this is not the reality.
i
Just as being insensitive, rude and uncaring can lead you to be lonely, friendless and a pita.

MIAonline · 11/07/2009 15:52

Disenchanted3, I am that they would think this was ok.

I think Kimithethreadslayer's retort would be apt

'I would have said no thank you, looking at you it clearly does not work'

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