to go back to full time work??

[R2G]

HI

DD is 3 and half and has a part time place at nursery. Starting to feel like upping it to full time but feel mean on him.
Seen a fab job
Cons:
Treble husbands salary (he has done so well to support us since I gave up my much better paid jon to have DC dont want to leapfrog him)
DC not old enough for school and always been at home
Part of salary will go on childcare
Have set up small part time home business and will end up working silly hours keeping the two going
Travel around whole region

Pros:
Sick of feeling poor and worrying will have money food and clothes again
Great job
Company car

Have applied and offered interview but not offered job yet. If I got the job I want to ask them 'do you mind if I just work 10 til 3' and then again in the evening on e-mails and prep so I can look after my DD...is that unreasonable in itself???

Advice please very confused and not sure if it is good. Can feel my old career woman stirring inside and not sure if I am just being a selfish bitch when it would be better to wait a year or two til DC at school

You arte most definitely not being unreasonable wanting to work again. You seem to have given it a lot of thought so you know the (dis)advantages. What does your partner think about it? I reckon you should continue applying for the jobs and see what happens. If you're offered one with the hours you want (and provided you are contactable during working hours I can't see the problem) then you could go for it. If you don't NEED to go back FT at the moment then you can hold out for the job you want! And enjoy it, there's nothing wrong with being a mum and wanting to work!

YANBU to want to work and imo to work full time. You have childcare arrangements and have considered the implications.

I went back full time when DS was 5 1/2 months. I really like my job and DS and I go to huge lengths to manage our childcare between us so I can do the same job.

Sounds like it will be hard work but if it is what you want then go for it.

YANBU

but working in the evening sounds too much. I work full time and it is very full on,

YANBU at all, from a FTWOHM.

YANBU at all, have you discussed with your husband whether he may like to be a SAHD for a while? Could be a good compromise.

Does your son like nursery? If he does then IMO he wont be harmed by going more often.
If you are offered the job now, I would take it, it sounds like a great oppotunity, and it would be a shame to wait a year, and then find that you couldnt get a similar one.

YANBU to want to work and not selfish at all.

I think other things you might want to consider though are you want to do with your own business. Do you envisage it being a f/t job one day? The advantage of putting more energy into that and sticking with it is that it will grow as you have more time to put into it. The disadvantage is that you don't have any extra money now.

Do you have to keep it going? If you have a good job why would you want to?

Also, if you can't do the hours you prefer would you still want to do the job?

I suppose it boils down to which you would regret more - missing the time with DC whilst they are young or missing out on a great career opportunity - do jobs like the one you applied for come up weekly/monthly/annually? Would you get the chance to go for something similar in a year from now? You probably have to try the old trick of looking back on your life 10 years from now and seeing how you would feel.

Not unreasonable at all! I am full of admiration for women who WOHM ft.

The strain will be on you to hold it all together, as you have alluded to, particularly on the travelling front. Travelling is tricky. Can your dh effectively and willingly cover for you when you are away?

I personally won't worry about your dd. 3.5 is well ready for nursery and childcare. As for salary going on childcare, your dd already qualifies for the surestart grant and in almost no time at all will be at school. 'Tis temporary.

Once you have the offer, you can ask about flex working. very tentatively. Are you confident the job can be done in those hours/arrangement (be very honest with yourself). As the pay sounds good, it might come with a level of responsibility that might be difficult to reconcile with those hours.

YANBU

If it were possible for me to earn 3x DH's salary, he'd gladly give up for a couple of years until all 3 of ours were at school. As your household income would go up so much, would this be a possible compromise? It would mean you could keep the p/t nursery place.

YANBU to want to go back to work. Congrats for getting this far with the job.
Would it work for your DH to go part-time/become a SAHD/help out with your business?

I personally wouldn't go into the job asking for part-time/split hours, because the way things are at the moment, there is a good chance there will be someone else who is happy to do the standard 9-5
It might be better to leave it for 6 months and they've seen what a good job you've done. You would also have a better idea of how the role works so a stronger argument for changing your hours.

Re childcare, could you bite the bullet and get a nannyshare or similar for the first few months, just until you've got all the hours etc sorted out? Think of it as an investment for you and your DS

Hi thanks everyone for your thoughts

Husband- no, he wouldn't go part time. I understand him, he is finally getting somewhere and I wouldnt want him to have a lifetime of regrets. He is on his way now after dicking about for years (sorry, been together since we were 16 so sorry if I sound like his mother!)