to be fighting down first thing in the morning fury over DH's housework last night while I was ill

[hereidrawtheline]

i have been ill with migraine for days now and last night was terrible I was in bed, I had a weird middle of the night episode where I thought I had a stroke etc I feel like shit.

So last night, DH, who IS Dear, guess what he flipping did.

He stacked up each and every single dirty dish in the right pile, biggest on bottom smallest on top, cups all together, cutlery all in one cup, pots and pans in order. They are all there, stacked, in perfect symmetry on one countertop. WHY NOT just unload the whopping 10 items in the dishwasher and then load it up again!!!!!!!! No, they have sat overnight feeding the bloody flies I am trying to eradicate and now I have to do it. And it just seems so uncommon sense. It must have taken longer to do what he did than it would have taken to just put them in the dishwasher.

And he changed DS's sheet which had been weed on earlier in the day and didnt put it in the laundry basket, he put it on the floor in front of the washing machine, which is in the kitchen.

I just told him we have to be extra clean and tidy because it helps DS with his SN and it helps me cope. And I know he is on board but he is so flipping clueless I have to spell every thing out for him which I cant do when I am ill! Which is a lot of the time sadly.

GGGGGGRRRRR

Totally understand your frustration. I think it is perfectly normal and no, YANBU. I thihk it is even more frustrating when you know dh is trying to be helpful, I feel guilty having a go at him when he is being 'helpful'. Of course when my dh is not being helpful i am allowed to get very cross (and frequently do).

Hope you are feeling better soon.

thank you!

YANBU - but this did make me laugh! At least he's neat while being a bit useless

How does he account for his actions??

YANBU But he does sound exactly like my dh and there's not much you can do about them On the odd occasion I ask dh to help when I really need it, he will come out of the bathroom that needs cleaning, walk across piles of clothes from the night before, leave his dirty breakfast things in the sink (rather than put in dishwasher) and go and fold the washing waiting to be ironed and towels in the airing cupboard. He'll then tell me at great length about his achievement before heading off outside or somewhere else probably miffed at my lack of 'enthusiasm and thanks' at his efforts to help

Oh I so know how you feel only my husbands idea of helping is to scream at kids that they are lazy but still not do anything. I had already done 3 trips to dancing and made a meal inbetween before going out to a parent's evening to come home to find dishwasher had been stacked (sort of) but not turned on, remaining pots all over worktops and leftover quiche left out so had to be thrown out. All lunch boxes thrown in sink (of course the cleaning fairy does that)and crumbs all over table and worktops. It's no fun I know but you are not alone ! It causes mega problems in our house because don't feel like going out because just means have everything to do when I come home or in morning so just easier to stay in. Annoying thing is that he genuinely believes he was being helpful because put little one in the bath and can't see why am so miffed. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!

Big empathetic hug.

Hope you are feeling better soon

My DH does that too! Then, he tells me he's helped! Farkin useless at times, aren't they! Good to know that it's not just mine though!

Shall I be the one to come along (someone always does on this kind of thread) and point out that these men shouldn't see themselves as "helping" because it is also their house and they should feel as responsible for its upkeep and running as the woman?
It's not a question of the man "helping" the woman. And then expecting to be thanked profusely.
Oh well.

Please do Katisha

Thanks Katisha, was pondering whether to bother.