to expect nursery to take *some* care of DS's clothes?

[curlygal]

DS is in nursery four days a week so often by day four we are running low on "nursery clothes" ie scruffier stuff that he wears to nursery.

Yesterday I dressed him in a white (yes I know) Thomas T shirt (nothing fancy just the white one out of a pack of three) and he happened to be wearing his new summer shoes.

When I dropped him off I mentioned that I knew white wasn;t the best colour for nursery and that he had new shoes on and said specifically to DS to please be careful with his new shoes (his last pair was ruined at nursery).

When I came to collect him I couldn;t believe the state of him. His white T shirt is totally ruined - covered in red paint and yellow sun cream. His shoes and socks were soaked and he had got into the paddling pool wearing shoes and socks.

I've soaked and washed the T shirt three times now and it is not wearable again. The shoes are ok after a wash, but you;d never guess they were new!

Several items of clothing have now been ruined at nursery - about three tops stained with non washable paint, plus the other shoes. Not to mention a lovely cardigan that just "disappeared".

I expect him to get a bit mucky and I know the white T shirt was silly but surely they should at least make an effort not to ruin the children's clothes?

I can see where you are coming from OP- I DO have "nursery clothes", but I would feel skanky dressing my dc in clothes that were really badly stained (as opposed to a little bit!) I have been mildly cross (although, of course, said nothing, just grumbled to DH ) at paint on clothes when dd1 was at nursery. I brought in a tabard thingy, and casually mentioned to the nursery nurse that it was in her bag if they needed it. "Oh no- we've got loads! it's just that sometimes the kids don't really feel like wearing them!" And, yes, why wouldn't you use washable paints/ pens? It just seems like common sense to me!

I think other posters who are accusing the OP of putting her child's appearance before his enjoyment are being a bit unfair. I was always happy to see mine come home a bit dirty, especially if they'd been out in the garden. And food stains are a fact of life. But surely when painting/ going in paddling pools etc all it takes is a few simple precautions and the child can have fun without getting clothes so completely wrecked they have to be thrown in the bin. Nursery care is expensive enough!!

I'm not going to offer any suggestions here, other than to say my son is 14.
So a list of all the stains, rips, tears, indelible gloop and gunk that he's managed to acquire over the years would be endless.
Suffice to say that the OP will either have to come to terms with it or live a life of unmitigated horror and despair over the next couple of decades.
I am awaiting his return from camp on Sunday.
Last time he incinerated a pair of walking boots when attempting to put out a campfire.
The time before, his shirt was torn in two whilst tree climbing.Not to mention the potholing grime.
He has had an enormous amount of fun, but acrylic, gloss and emulsion paint are truly unwashable in my experience, which is why he has special clothes for that sort of activity.
If the only thing you have to disturb your sleep is rather scruffy clothing on a happy child, you are onto a winning formula.

You are allowed to be annoyed. But you will need to get used to it. Its going to keep happening for years

Its very annoying if they are not using washable paint. Its pretty weird TBH. If they are ordering it from educational suppliers it would be (they are not nipping down to the local pound shop to get it are they? )

I like my kids to look nice but you have to comprimise. Get a load of cheap stuff (as suggested from asda etc) that you like but is fairly disposable. Steer clear of white, yellow and orange (why is orange the colour that attracts the most filth?). Dress DS in clothes that show stains less and buy lots of washable trainers.

It is a good sign for kids to come home a bit paint spattered and sandy but I am not sure about absolutly filthy/soaked/in rags. I would be a little bit worried that they were not being watched properly.

But one of my boys could be under 24hr survailence and still manage to look like he had been living under a bush for a fornight

bet if she checks the paint they were using in Nursery, it would say 'Washable'
Readymix is tricky like that.

YABitU, I do send DD to nursery in "nursery clothes", which are usually very cheap clothes and it doesn't really matter if they get dirty/stained, BUT I still can't bring myself to send her back to nursery in anything with the minutest stain on. I know I am incredibly precious about it, but I just can't. You already know you were unreasonable to expect him to to be careful with his shoes (you need crocs I suspect, I wish I could get them, but DD refuses to wear them ).

I don't think that being disappointed that your child's clothes were ruined equates to you with not wanting to have him involved in fun activities. I know that IABU but I couldn't send DD in with a stain on her clothes.

IABU tonight re my spelling. Luckily the part of education I work in does not involve any teaching of spelling whatsoever

I do think you have to get used to this for your own sanity. On getting dressed my ds can look like the most clean, fresh-skinned, glowing, mini-boden-clad child model....within one minute, and I do not exaggerate, he can look like I have never bothered wiping his face and clothe him entirely in jumble sale bargains. It is just something that happens. The thing is not to mind.

As a nursery nurse/manager don't think your being unreasonable but....I have seen many a child lift their apron and wipe their paint covered hands on their top, have no idea why! Also re:his shoes, perhaps he was just over keen, doubt very much they allowed him to do it, rather that he just couldn't resist and jumped in before someone could stop him . Does sound like he had a fab day though.

Agree that even washable paints stain, we do indeed put washing up liquid in ours. If i'm honest I would have had a go at washing the top before you arrived if it was so bad but then again when i have done this a parent yelled at me for messing up her washing rota (think she had a bad day at work!)

If a DC comes out of nursery clean it can't be a very good nursery! Get cheap second hand clothes-a DS that age doesn't care what he looks like-it is far more important that he can get dirty!

Heck my 2.9 year old can come home from nursery looking like she fell out of a skip! She wears a tabard for painting but manages to get paint underneath where the tabard covered. I believe this is a common talent for children.

And she can outrun any nursery nurse, so if she was hellbent on getting in the paddling pool with her shoes on before they could intercept her then she would.

I buy her nursery clothes from Asda (a quid for a T-shirt) and have to accept that her shoes will be battered within 20 minutes of getting them. That's life with a pre-schooler

I love my DS coming home in clothes all stained and dirty! It shows he's had a great time.. LOL...

He wore his brand-new £25 Clarks sandals (tried cheaper brands but he just would not have them on!) to nursery the other day and came back with the biggest glob on paint on it (as well as various scruff marks...). Sigh! He does have various holes and stains on many items of his clothing that I have no idea how he gets but I do buy a lot of his clothes off MN and I have no qualms about putting my next DS (still cooking at the moment) in these clothes again! But then again, you are talking to someone who just ain't that great about doing housework and not that bothered about it...

Curlygal - Sorry to hear you are having a hard time but there's no need to throw away clothes just cos they are stained. No one really cares if your DS is in stained clothes. And you should take advantage when they are at the age where they don't really give a toss what they are wearing! I am not looking forward to the day they start to understand about branded clothes/shoes etc!

I never understand why people fuss about clothes at an age when they are cheap, or you can get them second hand-save the money until they are older and care about image!

agree with children getting paint underneath the tabard- both mine were expert at that and I know they put them in tabards at the nursery

ds is 9 but he can still get himself covered in ink simply by writing a letter with a biro

I have learnt by now not to blame the school

Unless you hover over the DC you can't keep them clean! Even in school I spend time saying things like 'roll your sleeves up-your mum isn't going to like it if you are covered in black paint!' -it isn't a priority with DCs.

Clothes will get stained. At our nursery there are aprons for painting - kids forget to put them on, it happens.

The kids have indoor shoes for nursery, usually black gym shoes which cost about £2-£5. They get messy but who cares.

Kids will be kids

YABVU

get over it
how can the t shirt be unwearable ??

I work in a nursery and I am amazed at how parents seem to value their children's clothes more than their children.

Nursery is a messy place.
We have painting, felt pens, dry wipe pens, sand, water,playdough, glue EVERY day. all day.

Children get their dinner down them all the time, they are learning to be independent.

Outside it gets wet and muddy and we go out EVERY day.
Suncream is a bugger to apply to 20 plus children but we slap it on to stop the parents complaing about their children burning

I have brand new work tunics that are covered in paint stains but i still have to wear them.

OP, just be happy that your son is having such a good time.

My mantra is ' a mucky child is a happy child'
YABU, especially to tell a child to be careful with his shoes
attitudes like that rub off on children and it stops them from taking part in some activities and can seriously affect their development.

here here purepurple

I would still like to find out how the t shirt could be unwearable

I sometimes don't need to have a chat with nursery staff at the end of the day, I know DD has had strawberries for snack, spag bol for lunch, and has been painting and doing sticky pictures just by looking at her! I find having low standards helps in situations like this!

hippopotamouse "I find having low standards helps in situations like this!"

I find having low standards for everything helps a great deal with all situations!

morloth, you are wise beyond your years

Can I ask if IABU on a related point?

DS regularly (more often than not) comes home from nursery in someone else's clothes. I think if they get a bit mucky or wet they just put the nearest thing to hand on him, even though we are asked to take spare clothes in and put them in the bag with his name on . Now I don't mind that so much - his clothes usually vanish at this point but they're never the ones I'm bothered about. However they don't bother to check they're even vaguely the right size before they put them on - the other day he was wearing a 9mo T shirt - he's 2 and a bit! To make it worse, he'd fallen and cut his nose a few days earlier and it was still really sore, he screamed when we carefully took it off so I'd imagine he did they same when they squeezed it on him

I mentioned the next day (not complaining, just said this isn't his T-shirt, it's too small for him, and there should always be a change in his bag) and she said "We can't always get to the bags when they need changing...sometimes we can't leave the room". presumably if they're the only one in the room. So is there some rule they can't leave him topless for 10 minutes??

SPB
it is not considered good practice to leave a child naked and exposed, we never know who might be looking through the windows or who might be visiting, the gas man, the post man, the lady that drops off the fruit. Also children are to be treated with dignity and given privacy.
And sometimes it is difficult to leave the room. Nappies need to be changed or resources fetched or a million and one other reasons.
In that situation, I put on any nursery clothes I can find. Sometimes they are not the right size as we have a limited amount avavilable and often they don't get returned.
And to limit the time we are out of the room changing children I use what is to hand instead of wandering around the nursery for half an hour finding the right size.
Sometimes, I even put knickers on boys or vice versa

Right, thanks, I wondered if it was a dignity thing - although he regularly wanders round in a nappy at home I can see why that might not seem appropriate at nursery
Still think it's not on to cram him into clothes that are far too small though (it hurts!!) - just leave the mucky ones on for the extra 10 mins then! As far as limiting time goes once they can leave the room, it will take 2 mins to pop out and get it out of his bag, where I make sure it is every morning - as they ask us to!

I would also like to know why the Tshirt is unwearable?!