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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my husband is responsible for his own reversing

24 replies

fruitstick · 03/07/2009 08:45

I will start by saying he has started a new job this week and is a little stressed!

My husband was home before me last night so we parked in different spots. He was standing in the driveway when I came back so I couldn't pull right up to the house.

When he reversed out the drive this morning he knocked his bumper and pulled his wing mirror off on the hedge trying to get out.

He came back in screaming that I couldn't park properly and had damaged his car and promptly took my car which I really need today.

I can't drive his car and the baby seat won't fit in it

I am trying to imagine how this scene would have played out if it had been me reversing

OP posts:
pjmama · 03/07/2009 08:47

Oh this is so how my DH would react!!!

Callisto · 03/07/2009 08:48

Why can't you drive his car?

WoTmania · 03/07/2009 08:49

YANBU

If it was that bad getting out he could have got you to move your car couldn't he. Sounds like a drama queen to me.

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 08:52

Well technically I could although never have. But the main problem is the seat belt is too short to get the baby seat in safely.

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 03/07/2009 08:52

YANBU

why cant he drive

why didn't he ask you to move yours?

Why did he now take yours?

what a twat!

Callisto · 03/07/2009 08:53

Ah. I would not be happy to be spoken to like that tbh. Does he often shout at you like this?

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 08:57

Quite often, but it's all bluster. He never admits anything is his fault and the more it clearly is the greater lengths he goes to to prove that it isn't!

I think he was quite a spoilt child in a 'mine's broken I want yours' kind of way. Happens all the time. Mobile, blackberry.

Now I'm not at work he uses the 'I suppose you don't want me to earn any money' line.

OP posts:
Callisto · 03/07/2009 08:59

Goodness, he doesn't sound a very nice person to live with. Poor you.

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 09:00

I should add that later he does calm down and admit that maybe it was his fault.

In fact, he has just rung to apologise.

OP posts:
Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 09:01

Callisto, never fear, it's not abuse or anything. More comedic than anything else.

Basil Fawlty and a tree branch is a more accurate comparison.

OP posts:
Maninadirndl · 03/07/2009 09:03

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/people-who-know-how-to-f*cking-park-on-brink-of-extinction-2 0070912397/

Callisto · 03/07/2009 09:04

I should hope that the apology should at least include a large box of chocs/bunch of flowers/lovely undies. You should tell him that while you understand that he is stressed about his new job, screaming at you, especially infront of your children, is not acceptable and that he needs to do something about this behaviour. It really isn't very nice behaviour and not something that your children should grow up thinking is the way things happen between men and women.

Got to go now, but good luck.

Callisto · 03/07/2009 09:05

(didn't think it was abuse, but still a very disrespectful and way of treating you)

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 09:13

manina that's my husband's favourite website. He quotes it daily!

OP posts:
HSMM · 03/07/2009 09:27

My DH regularly parks in my way, so I just get his keys, move his car and get mine out. I don't even say anything. I certainly wouldn't scream and shout at him about his parking abilities, even if I did scrape my own car!

Stigaloid · 03/07/2009 09:40

!!!!! What a ***!!!

(although that being said in my relationship i am the hot headed one and would probably react the same way to my DH but that doesn't make it right or acceptable to take your car when you need it and it is the only one that takes a baby seat.)

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 10:36

OK I'm even more angry now. Not only are the raincoats and pram cover in the boot...

I've had to change my plans at lunchtime as have no car, he has told me to get a cab.

I can't get a cab as we can't afford it. Also I don't have time to walk DS to nursery, come home call a cab, get cash get him to take me and pick me up in time to pick DS up again 2.5 hours later.

It's not anything urgent but just something I had mentally planned to get me out of the house.

His response was 'well it's your choice, I can't talk about this now I'm in the middle of something' and put the phone down.

I also now have to walk to my sisters after nursery which is only 20 minutes but an arse in this weather.

I'm hot, tired, DS1 is cranky and shouty (he's also got a trumpet) because he woke up too early and I sense this is going to be a bad day.

Can I let out a virtual aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
Ripeberry · 03/07/2009 10:56

Manina, that is funny. Our local town actually fines people who don't park exactly in between the lines (they are quite narrow as well).
The fine is £50, just for even touching a line !
They make a killing with people who drive oversized pick-up trucks!

somewhathorrified · 03/07/2009 11:07

Ok, call me a B**ch but I'd get the spare car keys, go to his work and get my car back! I do think he does sound stressed, but so nice of him to do the same to you.

SomeGuy · 03/07/2009 11:07

My DW did this the other day. I parked the car neatly behind a 1 foot wall.

She drove it home, but in pulling out drove over the wall (which she blamed me for parking behind/said she didn't know it was there) and punctured a tyre's side wall, which had to be replaced (about £100).

BTW, you can legally drive missing one of your mirrors. Rear view + one wing mirror is perfectly fine.

TrillianAstrahasaJOB · 03/07/2009 11:12

If he thought you were in the way he should have either asked you to move your car or moved it himself (probably with a little rant about your parking). Not tried to squeeze through and damaged his car.

My Dad is one who is never wrong, never apologises, and bends rules according to whether they are being applied to him or to other people. I would never choose to live with someone like that.

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/07/2009 11:18

To be honest my Dad was like that too. I never set out to marry someone like my Dad, and DH wasn't like this when I met him (Actually maybe he was)

He just turned into him somehow

OP posts:
lizziemun · 03/07/2009 11:30

I would do what somewhathorrified said and get my car.

Tell if stands in my way when parking again i will just drive at him until he moves.

And after the attitude today he will not be getting dinner tonight as you have had to change your plans today so your exhusted because all the walking you have done today.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 03/07/2009 11:32

Phew I would go mental.

He crashes his car and so helps himself to yours without your agreement. I would go nuts.

Tell him that as he is such a poor driver you need to trade his car in for one you can drive and fit baby seats in, as obviously he can't be relied on to operate his vehicle with any level of competance and so you need two which you can both drive.

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