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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to judge: toddler at A&E with severe sunburn

94 replies

BigMomma3 · 01/07/2009 22:44

no more than 2 years old, huge bubble blister on shoulder, lobster skin on chest, shoulders, arms, hands and face going all weepy and scabby and . Mother in swimsuit with shorts on top obviously been sunbathing all day with little regard to the toddler.

Had to take DS2 to A&E tonight with a sprained ankle after trampolining (he is fine and is banned from the trampoline for a week) and saw toddler as above. He seemed quite happy but I dread to think of the agony he will probably be in when the painkillers have worn off . I felt quite sorry for the mother as everyone was tutting and the nurse was very off with her. Later her partner/husband came in demanding that his 'kid' be seen immediately (he had already been seen by the nurse and did not seem to be in discomfort) as he could'nt wait around all night. Was tempted to say that his 'kid' should not have left to roast all day in the sun then . I am assuming they did not wait to see the doctor as within a few minutes I saw them outside in the carpark, man & woman shouting and swearing at each other in front of the boy and then the woman running off up the road on her own and it looked like her hair had been pulled because it was hanging out of her clip. AIBU to hope the hospital informed SS?

OP posts:
theDreadPirateRoberts · 01/07/2009 22:47

Who are you judging? And why? And what would you have the hospital inform SS of?

BigMomma3 · 01/07/2009 22:49

Obviously judging parents for neglect of the child . I would consider that level of sunburn in a helpless toddler, neglect, and hope the hospital informed SS of it!

OP posts:
Dragonfly74 · 01/07/2009 22:49

YANBU, poor little boy.
Its been so hot today I have only let my 2 outside for a while both of them smeared in factor 50.

SerendipitousHarlot · 01/07/2009 22:51

It might have been an accident! We all got burned a bit last week on holiday despite all of us using factor 50! You don't know the full story.

Comewhinewithme · 01/07/2009 22:52

How do you know she had been with the child all day he could have been burnt at nursey or with grandparents or whatever .

Spero · 01/07/2009 22:52

Yes, I would judge. But more worrying is the shouting/swearing in front of the child. I would hope the hospital would inform social services as I think the severe sun burn is a child protection issue. But she'll probably just get a letter and no follow up.

however, if she is that clueless no doubt there will be other opportunities for intervention, hopefully before too much damage is done to the child.

theDreadPirateRoberts · 01/07/2009 22:52

But you don't know how long it took for the toddler to get burnt, and at least the mother took him to hospital. I got burnt like that as a child and got given an aspirin...

theDreadPirateRoberts · 01/07/2009 22:54

Was it definitely sunburn? Wouldn't have expected hands to be worse than chest, given that they'll have had more sun exposure already...

Spero · 01/07/2009 22:54

I would have thought it took longer than a few minutes to do that kind of damage.

saggyhairyarse · 01/07/2009 22:56

Poor little chap. Maybe it wasn't sunburn but another burn or scald?

SlartyBartFast · 01/07/2009 22:57

i judged a few women and a man the otherday , outdoor pool side, drinkign, swearing, toddler running around, no sun hat, heat of the day...
still - at least the child was taken to A & E

LadyOfWaffle · 01/07/2009 23:02

OH no poor thing. I got sunburnt so bad as a (older) child I have scars on my shoulders. At least she took him to hospital I guess.

LynetteScavo · 01/07/2009 23:03

Well at least they were seeking medical help..sort of. The hostpital will inform the HV, so she can follow it up. It was HOT today - I was really annoyed when I went to collect DD form my mums at noon to find her naked in the garden with no hat and only factor 20 cream on which could have been years old, knowing my mum. I had provided suitable sunblock, hat etc.I kept DD inside this after noon.

If they had waited to see the doctor - what could he have done?

BigMomma3 · 01/07/2009 23:03

Definitely sunburn, no doubt and it was not a little burnt, as in accident, either. The blistering was quite horrific. His mum had definitely been sunbathing too as she had on a swimsuit and looked a bit red as well so I would suspect she had been with him. I would hazard a guess that there was no suncream on him either. She was not a young, does not know any better, girl either, prob early 30s.

Their behaviour outside in public was disgusting as well, had to get DS in the car pronto. Makes me so sad for that poor boy .

OP posts:
navyeyelasH · 01/07/2009 23:03

I got sunburn ;ast year because for some weird reason my lotion (one of those apply once last all day jobs P20 is it?) didn't work on my skin. No idea why. I had to go to hospital for 2 days and had quote severe burns. So do not be too quick to judge IMO.

I'd be more worried about the swearing infront of the child; but maybe you pre-judgment has skewed events?

Mspontipine · 01/07/2009 23:08

I'm not keen on trampolines for children.

Spero · 01/07/2009 23:10

I still think that if you are talking about the safety of a vulnerable child it is not such a bad thing to be judgmental, especially if it prompts people to act.

Yes, you might not know the full explanation, yes it might be perfectly explicable, but if you have the care of a small child and that child ends up hurt in your care, you have some explaining to do.

BigMomma3 · 01/07/2009 23:13

If you had a DS like mine, you would be. I rather he bounced on it (12ft with a net around it) than bounced literally of the walls, sofa, beds, etc he could end up with more than a sprained ankle (he landed badly on the trampoline) doing that . Way too much energy!

OP posts:
hanaflower · 01/07/2009 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clemette · 01/07/2009 23:23

When it was (briefly) sunny last year my friend smothered her one year old in factor 50 every hour and he still got horrendous sunburn that required hospital treatment. Some tiny children have incredibly delicate skin and it would be impossible to know if sunscreen is going to protect them until it is really sunny.
It also sounds like she was the victim of some abuse at the hands or her partner so I wouldn't be quick to judge.

There may well have been people in A&E judging you for letting a child go on a trampoline, especially if your son is under five

Kelix · 01/07/2009 23:35

Someone I know took there DS to health centre to get some medical advice as he had sunburn (not as bad as in OP) and social services were knocking on her door at 8am the following morning so SS will probably be informed. If it is a one off and was just an accident there will probably be one visit and thats it. If there are some other issues then maybe they will be noticed and followed up.

I think most people would be judgmental in a situation like this TBH, it could have been an accident (suncream didnt work, happened at nursery whatever) but then again it might not. I would expect people to judge if my DD had sunburn like that. As long as you dont confront the parents and demand an explanation YANBU IMO

SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 00:44

That link about trampolining doesn't seem that bad to me.

"Almost half (47%) involved another child jumping at the same time.

And a third happened beccause the child fell from a trampoline which was not protected. "

""If you have one large child and one small child the risk of injury is significantly increased. "

So keep to one kid at a time and make sure you use the enclosure (usually part of the deal with the trampoline)

We went to A&E a few days ago because DD fell off the climbing frame in the park. Much more dangerous than our enclosed trampoline I'd say.

Jumente · 02/07/2009 06:54

Its good that she took him there to be seen, many wouldn't want to risk getting treated like that if they actually didn't care about their child so that gives me hope. The bloke sounds like a twunt though. Poor little boy.

It actually sounds like the woman made an effort to stand up for him.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 02/07/2009 07:06

I would have thought about half the a&e staff would have been judging you for having a trampoline.

Sprogstersmum · 02/07/2009 07:09

Last year I saw a baby - no more than 6 months - with v sunburnt legs - had obviously happened previous day and mum was still sitting in the scorching sun on the beach with the baby's legs out in the sun - I was so close to going and telling her to at least put the baby in the shade but figured she would just tell me where to go as there was no way she hadn't already noticed. It's the only time I've been really close to intervening on someone else#s parenting.

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