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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to judge: toddler at A&E with severe sunburn

94 replies

BigMomma3 · 01/07/2009 22:44

no more than 2 years old, huge bubble blister on shoulder, lobster skin on chest, shoulders, arms, hands and face going all weepy and scabby and . Mother in swimsuit with shorts on top obviously been sunbathing all day with little regard to the toddler.

Had to take DS2 to A&E tonight with a sprained ankle after trampolining (he is fine and is banned from the trampoline for a week) and saw toddler as above. He seemed quite happy but I dread to think of the agony he will probably be in when the painkillers have worn off . I felt quite sorry for the mother as everyone was tutting and the nurse was very off with her. Later her partner/husband came in demanding that his 'kid' be seen immediately (he had already been seen by the nurse and did not seem to be in discomfort) as he could'nt wait around all night. Was tempted to say that his 'kid' should not have left to roast all day in the sun then . I am assuming they did not wait to see the doctor as within a few minutes I saw them outside in the carpark, man & woman shouting and swearing at each other in front of the boy and then the woman running off up the road on her own and it looked like her hair had been pulled because it was hanging out of her clip. AIBU to hope the hospital informed SS?

OP posts:

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 02/07/2009 18:02

"OMFG - those of you trying to make out that I should be judged for my 9 year old having a slightly sprained ankle because he felt awkwardly on a soft surface while supervised and with a safety net can piss off. "

Sorry but LOL at judging others and then becoming all defensive when others judge YOU.

oh and A&E might have seen worse but it doesn't stop them judging the little stuff as well.

stroppyknickers · 02/07/2009 18:03

Love the way you are assuming mum was in charge because she had shorts on. Maybe she works outside and this happened at nursery/ childminder? Maybe you should actually be more concerned about mum then about her ds if you really think she was attacked in the car park by her dp? (Clip in hair issue).

barnsleybelle · 02/07/2009 18:04

Some are not taken duchesse but i was responding to your comment of

" It was an ACCIDENT. If it had been deliberate cruelty, they wouldn't have taken him to casualty. "

In this instance i think that at least the hospital staff will be the ones taking the decision as to if intervention is required. I would imagine as the op states they were seen by the triage nurse but did not wait for the doctor they will automatically contact the GP to ensure the child recieves some sort of check.
I wouldn't judge the sunburn but would judge the fact that they didn't wait.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 02/07/2009 18:08

They will refer to their GP who will inform the H/V.

Unbelievable that sun burn means a visit from SS.

paisleyleaf · 02/07/2009 18:12

You only have to watch 'You've been framed' to see how trampoline injuries can happen, and how bad they can be

And it is scarey for small children and babies that their carers are oblivious to how fast and severely the sun can burn.
I remember that poor poor boy in the papers last year whose mum was working on the beach in Spain or somewhere and he was left to his own devices on the beach...no shade or water

Spero · 02/07/2009 18:54

Agree with barnsleybelle. its just naive to say that people who inflict deliberate cruelty don't take children to A and E. I think it was the Maria Colwell case where she was taken to the hospital by her parents and was dead on arrival because they had been hitting her so hard for so long.

Parents might not mean to hurt and kill when they hit, but they did mean to hit.

Neglect is often the precurser of very serious harm to a child both physcial and emotional.

I was responsible for my child getting hurt and I bloody well should have been judged at the hospital - she nearly lost her hand and it would have been down to my neglience if she had.

I am not aware of any skin condition which causes a child to blister and burn in the sun in a very short time, so apologies if this is my ignorance. but for a child to be in that state described by the op seems to me to be avoidable and hence unacceptable.

Doesn't mean who ever was in charge of that child didn't love him but he/she needs to be told.

PinkTulips · 02/07/2009 19:09

spero, in ds1's case it's called 'pasty irish skin'

dp has the same condition.

added to that certain chemicals and medications can make skin extremely photosensitive

ilovemydogandmrobama · 02/07/2009 19:18

Think it's second degree burn. Totally possible to get very bad sun burn that blisters

girlsyearapart · 02/07/2009 19:29

YANBU I would've judged too. Especially don't like people being abusive to medical staff or swearing in front of children.
ps- When I had to take DD to A & E the other day (allergic reaction) there was a huge poster saying 15% of their children's admission were due to trampolining accidents. They happen so easily though my 18mo niece was playing on an enclosed trampoline at a bbq the other day with myself and my sister within arms reach and she STILL fell off through the net and landed on her face!

CyradisTheSeer · 02/07/2009 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

katiestar · 02/07/2009 19:37

OMFG - those of you trying to make out that I should be judged for my 9 year old having a slightly sprained ankle ... can piss off.

its not nice being judged by people who don't know the facts,is it ?

icedgemsrock · 02/07/2009 20:01

ok the op doesn't know the facts and will never know but isn't she allowed to pass comment?
what's so wrong with that ?

clemette · 02/07/2009 21:13

But she asked if she was being unreasonable. So many people answered that they thought she was. If she was convinced of her judgement perhaps whe wouldn't have asked the question (unless of course she expected everyone to say God what an awful parent, you were right to judge her without knowing the facts...)

icedgemsrock · 02/07/2009 21:17

fair point clem but i just don't get this -not allowed to think anything bad - mentality.
It seems some people go round with only pure thoughts and believe me that doesn't happen in my head!

clemette · 02/07/2009 21:24

There are some things I would judge, but when it falls into the realms of something that could be an honest mistake. I just prefer to think the best of people rather than the worst (unless I know them when I am guiltily overly judgemental...)

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 02/07/2009 21:46

tbf I would have judged both the sunburn AND the trampoline. I would have been full of judginess in that A&E that's for sure.

Spero · 03/07/2009 22:35

Pink Tulips - My brother has got red hair and very pale skin and back in the glorious seventies, when parents knew no better, he got very burnt indeed - but it took best part of an afternoon! Can you really get burned in a very short time without some bizarre skin condition (Irishness excluded) ??

PinkTulips · 04/07/2009 12:10

i don't know why ds1 burned so quickly that day, he still does get red quickly but never anything like the reaction he had that day.

gp's best guess was that the chlorine on his skin from swimming combined with sun and wind and baby skin did it... although even he was in shock at how quickly it had happened.

luckily the gp knew me well and didn't for a second accuse me of lying about the siutuation or not being careful enough... in fact almost everyone's response was 'but it wasn't even that sunny/hot yesterday '

Knickers0nMaHead · 04/07/2009 12:22

erm, ds has two big blisters on his arms from sunburn, dispite putting factor 50 baby cream on him every half hour and he hasnt been in the sun that much. But then the sun is much stronger in spain. I feel guilty enough without thinking i am being judged too.

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