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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to regret giving my dd a gay packed lunch?

518 replies

pointydog · 30/06/2009 20:35

Dd1 (12) was off on a fun school trip today with a mix of kids from high school.

I suggested a few things for her packed lunch this morning and she went off happily with a peanut butter sandwich, a fruitus bar, a kitkat, some dried apricots, a tub of home-made muesli and a bag of chipsticks.

The tuff kids laughed at her lunch - snorting particularly loudly at the apricots - and called it gay.

I feel like the mum in About A Boy.

OP posts:
Rafi · 01/07/2009 09:44

If you're going by the stereotypes, a lesbian packed lunch would be tofu & hummus.

LeninGrad · 01/07/2009 09:48

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LeninGrad · 01/07/2009 09:53

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Rafi · 01/07/2009 09:57

My niece flings the word "gay" around on her Facebook page. I grit my teeth & remind myself that she's a teenager, she knows no better & she's not talking about me....

policywonk · 01/07/2009 09:57

I'm with Len. I don't believe that it's a coincidence that the popular slang word for homosexual is now also a catch-all insult. People (including children) should be called on it when they use it.

guvk · 01/07/2009 09:59

I agree. As parents we should stamp on it as hard as we would stamp in racist language.

guvk · 01/07/2009 10:00

stamp on racist language, not in.

LeninGrad · 01/07/2009 10:00

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Doobydoo · 01/07/2009 10:02

Thanks for posting that Leningrad.
Ds1 is 9 and has been called Gay and a Lesbian
We have told him that it should not be used as an insult and tbh I am still amazed that people/children use these words in such a way.

HighOnDieselAndGasoline · 01/07/2009 10:04

Agree that children should be told that (and why) using 'gay' like this is completely unacceptable.

MissSunny · 01/07/2009 10:06

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sarah293 · 01/07/2009 10:06

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Overmydeadbody · 01/07/2009 10:10

You sent a peanut butter sandwitch in?!

Sounds like your kids are in the wrong school pointy

Lunchtimes as DS's school you can't move for little tuperware boxes full of radishes, carrots,peppers, dried fruit and lentil cutlets

BCNS · 01/07/2009 10:11

@ the Op and the about the boy referrences.

Btw I asked ds1 (14) about the packed lunch contents.. he said sounded lovely.. although he'd prefer a ham and salad sandwich.. and cous cous instead of the muesli.

I pop in a lot of home baked things in the dc's lunch packs, and things like toated seeds etc.. they always seem to have children around them having a look in and asking to taste things lol.. " ohhh what has your mum baked this time, lets have a try!"

but I will remember to pack jam on white plastic bread sarnies, canyfloss and a fizzy drink.. for mixed school outings in future

with regard to the "gay" comment.. grrrr that annoys me soooo much.

scattercushion · 01/07/2009 10:13

stamping in racist language sounds like a school-holiday activity akin to grape-crushing.

HighOnDieselAndGasoline · 01/07/2009 10:13

MissSunny - I suggest that you go back and read Lenin's posts. She doesn't just 'think' that homophobic bullying is a big part of school life, she has quoted a whole range of statistics that prove it IS.

daftpunk · 01/07/2009 10:14

doesn't gay mean something else now?..like naff or something.??

helsbels4 · 01/07/2009 10:14

A boy in ds' class (they're 9) received an instant stage three the other week for shouting across the playground to someone that they were gay. His mum was mortified and grounded him for the week but even right back to when I was at school, bandying around the word gay was common place.

If I was gay and someone called me that, I don't think I would be offended because they would be stating a fact. I would have thought the person being offended by being called gay - if they weren't - is the homophobic one because why would anybody be offended by being called gay or lesbian if they themselves didn't have a problem with such.

I'm not sure that's come across how I want it too but I just don't understand why people gay or otherwise get offended by being called names.

cory · 01/07/2009 10:16

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LeninGrad · 01/07/2009 10:20

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daftpunk · 01/07/2009 10:22

cory....i know what you're saying...but i think in this situation the word gay wasn't being used with homosexual references...they were just saying packed lunch was a bit lame....imo

LeninGrad · 01/07/2009 10:25

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LeninGrad · 01/07/2009 10:28

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Doobydoo · 01/07/2009 10:28

We have said to ds1 that it is not an insult or shouldn't be taken as one to be called gay or lesbian and that the othe rchildren are being rather ridiculous etc.

helsbels4 · 01/07/2009 10:29

Like I said, I don't think I managed to get my point across at all well
I wasn't trying to say it was ok, I was trying to say that me as a person, doesn't have any problem with whatever sexuality someone is, so if someone called me gay, I wouldn't find that offensive because to me, being gay is no different to being straight, fat, coloured, tall etc.