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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think I am going to have to change my identity and leave the country because of this...

59 replies

VerityClinch · 30/06/2009 11:38

Am 38+3, and booked for an elective CS the day after tomorrow due to major placenta praevia. Am somewhat anxious, suffering from pregnancy brain, melting in the heat and all-round a bit out of touch with reality.

Spent the morning so far lying in bed, in a tshirt which now covers not much more than my boobs, under the fan.

The doorbell rang, and, without even thinking, I got up out of bed, went downstairs and answered it. It was the Ocado man. I stood there, in just the tshirt, my hairy fanjo on display (for clarity, one of the items in my order is VEET) to the entire neighbourhood without even realising.

To his credit, Ocadoman did not bat an eyelid, although he certainly wasn't in the mood for chatting and was in and out of the house very quickly!

I only realised once I had shut the door.

And now I am mortified. AIBU to think the only practical solution to this is to get immediate facial reconstructive surgery, assume a false identity and leave the country forever? What ON EARTH must that man be thinking?

OP posts:
suwoo · 30/06/2009 13:09

OMG!!!!!!!!!!

I am 34 weeks and if your hairy lady garden is anything like mine, it is not fit to be seen by another human being.

Just marking my place on the thread to show DH later .

expatinscotland · 30/06/2009 13:10

PMSL! I've done some messed up things, but never anything that BAD!

CherryChoc · 30/06/2009 13:19

Once I had a Tesco delivery and was bending down to pick up the items, the man (a young lad actually ) suddenly seemed insistent that he could carry it through to the kitchen for me if I wanted, I merrily declined and carried on unpacking the shopping not realising that since I had a fairly baggy top on and my feeding bra open he probably had a very good view right down my top

CherryChoc · 30/06/2009 13:20

Oh also I used to answer the phone (in the windowsill, we live on a busy street) with my norks out when bf... it seems the instinct to cover up is not there when answering the phone!

expatinscotland · 30/06/2009 13:24

Once I was climbing in a sports top thingie. One strap was really loose on my shoulder and it had come down and I didn't realise my left boob was on full display until I heard a voice on the route next to me say, 'This climbing shit's the bomb! I'm coming back tomorrow night!'

My ex boyfriend was belaying me and didn't say a word!

hairygodmother · 30/06/2009 13:26

Actually, I don't think it does get worse after you've had the baby Verity, but I think you'll find that gradually you care less! Hairy fanjo in public? Whatever ... Once you've been puked on and been mauled all over, showing your fanjo to people will be nothing ... Hilarious story tho, good luck with c-section

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2009 13:33

PMSL!

expatinscotland · 30/06/2009 13:39

Just think of it this way, OP, stories like yours are the stuff of urban legend!

JackBauer · 30/06/2009 14:14

Sorry, but that's hysterical

When DD2 was small I was Bfing her in a wrap, but it was hot, so I took my bra and top off, so basically a blue wrap around me in just a pair of PJ shorts, and then PIL's arrived.
MIL ahem'ed about 5 minutes after arrival saying 'Do you want me to watch the DD's while you get dressed?
I nearly didn't come back downstairs.

funtimewincies · 30/06/2009 14:26

But I don't understand...you were wearing a t-shirt. Sounds suitably respectable to me, anything else is just accessorising !

Lilyloo · 30/06/2009 14:29

Lol makes my going out with two odd shoes on with pg befuddled brain a minor blip
Hope you have another source of grocery shopping for the future!

Deeeja · 30/06/2009 14:51

This has made me laugh so much
Was having a really terrible feeling sorry for myself sulky day, you snapped me out of it.

dawntigga · 30/06/2009 15:12

OMG that made me laugh

dxx

PricklyVelvet · 30/06/2009 15:15

most hilarious thing i have read all day...sorry

leothelioness · 30/06/2009 15:18

Oh i just snorted tea up my nose, that is so funny.
I have to give the delivery man credit for being too polite to mention it.

giveloveachance · 30/06/2009 15:21

priceless!!!!

and yes pregnancy brain does get worse when baby brain takes over....

leave notes out for yourself....

step 1 - get DRESSED

step 2 - check in the mirror that you are in fact DRESSED

step 3 - open the door

good luck with your elective c section and try and get as much rest as you can - you will need it!!

oh and no need to leave the country - when the ocardo man gets back to his depot, no-one will believe him!! they will think its a wind up!!

bellavita · 30/06/2009 15:22

Oh bless you you have made me laugh..

KerryMumbles · 30/06/2009 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/06/2009 15:24

If your pubes are as overgrown as mine were at the end of pregnancy when I could no longer properly reach nevermind see, he probably thought you were wearing dark knickers anyway until you turned round

merryberry · 30/06/2009 15:28

sits on hands<
sits on hands harder<
nails hands to floor<
rips them out<

...he got there for your delivery slot OK then...

apologises and leaves the planet

audreyraines · 30/06/2009 15:29

if it makes it better i order ocado nearly every week, and hardly ever get the same driver. just mix up your days and time slots and hope for the best!

Baisey · 30/06/2009 16:08

Yes at least it was Ocado.
Heaven forbid if an ASDA delivery man had seen your fanjo.
And also you do know if you do keep getting the same delivery man now, you've pulled!

differentID · 30/06/2009 16:10

don't stress about it.

Just keep a loose skirt handy next delivery!

sarah293 · 30/06/2009 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VerityClinch · 30/06/2009 16:13

And there was me thinking everyone would chime in with comments along the lines of "oh, not to worry, this sort of thing happens all the time when you're pregnant..."

Ahem.

Time to change the regular delivery slot*, I think.

*"delivery slot" being just that, not a euphemism for fanjo...

OP posts:
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